Generational wealth differences

[KeenGreen]

My first AIBU so let’s see what I’m in for!

First to make clear none of the problems now are the fault of previous generations. It is not a blame game!!

So AIBU to be frustrated with the rhetoric that todays generations of young families have it no harder than previous generations in terms of wealth and they just need to be more frugal to have the same standard of living??

I am sick of hearing the idea that older generations. So called boomers (for the record I don’t like this term) didn’t have it easier than younger generations.

I am 38 I have worked since I was 16, lived independently since 17. Put myself through university all the way through to PhD. My husband is 39 works in a school as support staff (LSA) and takes up circa £1200 a month. He has a degree.
I work in a university and earn just under £50K before tax so our household income is probably about £65K not the lowest by any stretch but enough for us to struggle to balance costs. We claim child benefit but otherwise no extra help.
Husband only works term time of course, but that means he’s around for our child during holidays.

We have one DC age 5, and can’t afford any more.
Our closest family lives over 2 hours away, so we have no family support with childcare or help if there is a sick day or anything.

We have a mortgaged small semi detached 1930s house with 3 bedrooms, It needs a lot of work but we haven’t been able to do much because of time and money. Current mortgage fix ends in 2026 and I expect our mortgage repayments to go up by about 50% extra £300 a month.

We pay off student loans and my pension contributions are also high.
I took only 6 months maternity leave because I couldn’t afford to go to half pay for long and not into no pay at all.

My husband had virtually nothing in his workplace pension because of low earnings.
Mine is keep being devalued because of sector changes and it’s definitely not the best pension in education. (Teachers pensions are better).
I can’t even imagine what it will be like to try and live off my workplace pension alone and I would have to go all the way up to retirement age which I can’t imagine myself doing in a stressful job.

Retirement age for us is currently 68, that means we have 30 more years.
But with the way things are going I have no hope that there will be a state pension at all for us, or the age will be pushed even higher, so will probably be dead! Despite the fact I will have been paying in with tax national insurance for 50 plus years by that point.

I just feel frustrated about this idea that I hear people say that our generation just needs to work harder, or get better paid jobs etc because it’s not that easy. We both work hard in the education sector. Enjoy our jobs for the most part and find them fulfilling albeit stressful at times!

Like I said not about blaming previous generations for the picture we are in, but I don’t like the rhetoric of ‘well interest rates went up to 15% in my day’ etc when house prices were so much lower in proportion to wages and the cost of living right now and inflation over the last 10 years shows wages haven’t increased in line with this.

ps I know we are not the most hard done by! But still feel the pinch and we certain don’t live an extravagant lifestyle!

We did ALL of this! Only holiday abroad was paid for by the inlaws. You're just as bad as the boomer haters.

I think you also have to accept that many people progress their careers over time and increase their salaries.

Do they? we don't have very high salaries in this country.

I live on an ordinary street in London where a small terrace needing work starts at 800k. My neighbour to the left bought their house on one postman salary. Ain't no postman buying those houses now.

Absolutely this. The only criticism I have about the DH job is why the hell is it so poorly paid in the first place? Necessary jobs for society to function should be paid a fair wage imo. We good support workers in schools.

“who do they think should do the less well paid jobs, which are usually the ones that are actually essential to society.”

While I agree with much of your post, and in particular about OP’s DH’s job being worthy and essential, I’d point out that a huge number of low-paid jobs are definitely not essential, and are also often done by immigrants; coffee shops, car washes, restaurants/fast food, nail bars. All of those are luxuries not essentials, and do little to contribute to our economy overall as many of the workers rely on benefits to top up those low wages, and the businesses pay little tax.

Another disadvantage of having so many foreign workers is that so much money leaves this country and isn’t spent here - we’re literally paying benefits to support families in other countries, while we have a declining economy with too few houses and opportunities.

It is Gen Z that I feel really sorry for and I also fear for the very young children being born now. The West seems to be embracing a new version of fascism, the climate crisis is wrecking the planet and we are yet to see where AI is going to take us. I think it will make our concerns about the reach of the internet trivial in comparison.

I agree.

Your standard of living is directly impacted by your DH wishing to remain in his low paying job and not advancing his career in any way. He is comfortable and wishes to avoid stress and happy earning a very low wage. That is the impact on your family.

I honestly think this generation want it all. The ‘boomers’ as you call them, made do with what they could afford at the time. Couldn’t afford three kids? Didn’t have that third one. Couldn’t afford to have two cars? Made do with the one, or none at all.

This doesn't make any sense though as people are having less dc or none at all? Car ownership of 2 cars has increased but again with more parents working, dc living at home
as young adults you would expect that.

God yes to all of this, its relentless.

Both my parents had to work to make ends meet and the only mortgage they could get was based on their combined salary - and that was for a modest three bedroom semi. We didn’t have a fridge until l was around six or seven - milk was kept in a bowl of cold water and l remember food being kept in the garage during the colder months. Most people didn’t have a freezer until the 70’s. We rarely ate out and holidays were mostly weekends away in the UK.

And my mum used to bring work home - she was self employed and had business accounts to keep and wages to pay. Why do you think no laptops or mobile phones = no work to take home ? And there were no work ‘jollies’. Work was 9am-6pm and for mum that was Monday to Saturday with a half day off mid week. My dad worked shifts at the local car manufacturers - he was a shift supervisor and frequently bought paperwork home to complete, on top of working long hours. How is that not working hard ?

Your post is a sweeping generalisation based on your own experience, which sounds a ot more privileged than many at the time. You know that the owners of those flash cars in Sainsburys are pensioners ? Sure they’re not leased, or their kids aren’t driving ?

But why blame ‘boomers’ then? And MN is very derogatory towards them. Surely it’s just the way the economy has been handled by successive governments. ‘Boomers’ may in part have benefited, but obviously that’s just the way it was. You know, a bit like the current ever expanding welfare system, where people can get a lot more from the state than they used to. We shouldn’t blame the current mentality of people claiming money thrown at them - it’s the government that make the decisions, and people accept it. Why wouldn’t they?

So AIBU to be frustrated with the rhetoric that todays generations of young families have it no harder than previous generations in terms of wealth and they just need to be more frugal to have the same standard of living??

This is only a part of the ‘rhetoric’. There is PLENTY of commentary and analysis around current house prices and COL. And the mitigating factors are usually only raised once someone starts on about Boomers.

Hey Ho.

Everyone knows house prices are relatively much higher now.

Quality of life and expectations have gone up in many ways, financial challenges have increased.

I am fed up with people making endless banal carping comparisons.

Like you.

@KeenGreen YABU. The reality is that you have it easier than previous generations therefore simply don’t understand how hard it was for people like my parents.

My dad left school to work down a coal mine at age 14 -14! Let that sink in. My mum did various cleaning jobs before and after school - me and my sibling had to go with her. No phones, no iPads and no bad behaviour! We just had to sit there for hours, although luckily, one of the families she cleaned for let us use their DCs toys/books. My mum never drove (could never have afforded lessons and even if she could drive, they could never have afforded a second car) so we had to walk mikes every day with her dragging her cleaning stuff in a wee trolly. On my dad’s days off, he was a door-to-door salesman. And he taught himself to fix other people’s cars. Holidays were caravaning about 20 miles from our home, once a year. My dad had multiple work related injuries including being crushed, lung problems and chronic back pain - but he still worked probably about 60 hours a week.

My parents never had “date nights” or anything remotely resembling “them” time. But they played cards and games with us. Both sets of grandparents died fairly young by today’s standards and also had to work (basically until they died) so no help with childcare for my parents.

It really doesn’t sound like your DH is contributing anywhere near as much as he could. He has a privileged existence really - he likes his job, is settled in it, doesn’t want the added stress etc. Lucky him!! Me and my DH have both had to stick at jobs we hated and worked extra shifts/second evening jobs to get where we are.

I mean I envy your DH in some ways but you can’t really blame others/external factors when he is a big part of your money issues!

I'm a late boomer. I married early and repented to leisure. In between marriage and the end of it, we bought an apartment in Madrid. It was in the outskirts, with literally nothing around us except apartments. When the marriage went kaput, we sold it at a price. We had no equity at all.

I moved with my toddler son back with parents, and trust me, it brought me to my knees regarding confidence in myself. My parents were wonderful, gave us a home and stability but I hated being back in my childhood home. I worked 2 jobs and saved every peseta I could to get us a home. In the meantime I met my DH and we pooled financial resources when we married.

It was the time when home interest rates went crazy - we paid 18% on the loan at some point. We literally stopped any superfluous expenditure, including buying deodorant. We had a cheap bar of soap to shower with.

We were lucky that local produce in Spain was cheap. We ate lots of legumes and vegies to save.

Our mindset was to put into the mortgage double the mortgage repayment every month. And we did it with plenty of sacrifices and 2 children

One of the problems with so many of you talking about how "easy" is for boomers to enjoy the life they have today, it's that you don't have any idea the awful effort many of us have experienced without inheritance of any kind.

What we have, we've earned. And don't give a shit to anyone telling me the opposite.

This.

But why blame ‘boomers’ then? And MN is very derogatory towards them. Surely it’s just the way the economy has been handled by successive governments. ‘Boomers’ may in part have benefited, but obviously that’s just the way it was. We shouldn’t blame the current mentality of people claiming money thrown at them - it’s the government that make the decisions, and people accept it. Why wouldn’t they?

Well people vote for governments & young people haven't been at the forefront of government policies for some time. I think people get frustrated with some of the Boomer generation who deny that things have changed.

You know, a bit like the current ever expanding welfare system, where people can get a lot more from the state than they used to.

Do they? is there more social housing now vs then?

I grew up in the 80s and remember slightly older couples crippled by the 16% interest rate and having to work 3 jobs to make ends meet. I also remember Thatcherism and all the redundancies as things were shut down to later privatise them or import...

People made do with less in the 80s also consumerism wasn't as insane and we didn't have fast fashion or the need to have the latest smart phone every year. Nobody took a holiday to Bali. France & Spain were still considered as exotic. Wearing designer labels hadn't taken hold. The concept of your status being determined by your trainers (Nike, etc) didn't exist. Make do and mend was still very much a big part of life.

I was SAHP because my wages were less than my childcare. Priced out of work.

splurging £3 on a coffee once a week isn't why people can't save money.

But there are lots who don’t spend £3 once a week. In London it’s closer to £3.50 (more in some places) and plenty of people are getting one a day, all week. That’s over £1,200 a year which is enough for a week in the Med out of school holidays.

I suppose I am one of the people that appears to have had it easy, but in order to get here, we spent years living on baked potatoes and homemade stews and bread. We didn't have a TV for years and when we did, it was a black and white portable set for a long time. We had a phone, but for a long time, it was incoming calls only to reduce the rental - trek round to the phone box to make a call. We didn't spend money on non-essentials - no holidays, takeaways, gadgets or new clothes. We shopped at the cheapest shops and bought kids' toys and clothes fro, thrift and charity shops.

We lived very simply all through our twenties and into my thirties when I did an OU degree and got qualified. I realised that working unqualified was never going to give us financial security - it wasn't easy. Then a lot of years working hard - I could retire, but I'm working to keep us in the luxuries (holidays etc).

I think there is a much bigger issue in the Uk that goes beyond any generational wealth gap. The super rich are getting richer accumulating more and more of the wealth meaning the majority of us as progressively becoming worse off. I’ve listened to a couple of Gary Stephens podcasts and that is how I learned about this.

We are heading towards a nightmare scenario in the future where there will be loads of people reaching their pension years not owning a home and not having enough savings (through no fault of their own due to cost of living, stagflation etc) or a high enough pension to be able to afford massively high rents. They will be at the mercy of their landlord, in fear of a letter landing on the doormat telling them their rent is going to increase again, or worse, their tenancy is being ended.

Can you imagine being a pensioner and realising you have to work until the day you drop dead in order to be able to survive?

And then there are the youngsters who can’t even afford to start a family.

I don’t think foreign investment companies should be allowed to bulk buy UK homes to rent out and there should be restrictions on short term lets and second home ownership. Increase the proportion of affordable housing on residential developments etc.

I lose sleep every night worrying about these things.

Ever generation blames the one before.....

One of the problems with so many of you talking about how "easy" is for boomers to enjoy the life they have today, it's that you don't have any idea the awful effort many of us have experienced without inheritance of any kind.

What's the difference between some inheritance and living at home with your parents.

Of course it was hard, it's just harder now.

It was the time when home interest rates went crazy - we paid 18% on the loan at some point.

This is a classic example of the lack of awareness though. 18% of a low amount is not too different to 6% of a high amount.

I am a boomer and I think nowadays expectations are higher. I went to work a year after our first child was born. I had no maternity leave and no help with childcare. Our first meal out after we were married was for our tenth year anniversary. Our first holiday was a borrowed tent, the second a caravan. Our first abroad holiday was a gite after thirteen years of marriage. We were both teachers but at that time, pre-Houghton report, teachers wages were dire.

However, I agree that the retirement age nowadays is awful. We have been lucky to have been able to retire while still fit enough to do some of the things that we weren’t able to afford when younger. I really feel for those who have to work to 68 and older.

Owning a 30s semi is always going to need stuff doing to it, we (boomers) own a small detached 30s house, (no mansion with bifolds here) and the DIY seems constant, your DH is best to learn to do a lot himself to keep costs down which will also mitigate his lower paid, shorter hours, job.

House prices were lower back in the day but so were salaries. There were less routes to higher education, less maternity leave and I don’t remember getting any maternity pay, no before or after school clubs etc etc.

I think there are good and bad for each generation