Generational wealth differences

[KeenGreen]

My first AIBU so let’s see what I’m in for!

First to make clear none of the problems now are the fault of previous generations. It is not a blame game!!

So AIBU to be frustrated with the rhetoric that todays generations of young families have it no harder than previous generations in terms of wealth and they just need to be more frugal to have the same standard of living??

I am sick of hearing the idea that older generations. So called boomers (for the record I don’t like this term) didn’t have it easier than younger generations.

I am 38 I have worked since I was 16, lived independently since 17. Put myself through university all the way through to PhD. My husband is 39 works in a school as support staff (LSA) and takes up circa £1200 a month. He has a degree.
I work in a university and earn just under £50K before tax so our household income is probably about £65K not the lowest by any stretch but enough for us to struggle to balance costs. We claim child benefit but otherwise no extra help.
Husband only works term time of course, but that means he’s around for our child during holidays.

We have one DC age 5, and can’t afford any more.
Our closest family lives over 2 hours away, so we have no family support with childcare or help if there is a sick day or anything.

We have a mortgaged small semi detached 1930s house with 3 bedrooms, It needs a lot of work but we haven’t been able to do much because of time and money. Current mortgage fix ends in 2026 and I expect our mortgage repayments to go up by about 50% extra £300 a month.

We pay off student loans and my pension contributions are also high.
I took only 6 months maternity leave because I couldn’t afford to go to half pay for long and not into no pay at all.

My husband had virtually nothing in his workplace pension because of low earnings.
Mine is keep being devalued because of sector changes and it’s definitely not the best pension in education. (Teachers pensions are better).
I can’t even imagine what it will be like to try and live off my workplace pension alone and I would have to go all the way up to retirement age which I can’t imagine myself doing in a stressful job.

Retirement age for us is currently 68, that means we have 30 more years.
But with the way things are going I have no hope that there will be a state pension at all for us, or the age will be pushed even higher, so will probably be dead! Despite the fact I will have been paying in with tax national insurance for 50 plus years by that point.

I just feel frustrated about this idea that I hear people say that our generation just needs to work harder, or get better paid jobs etc because it’s not that easy. We both work hard in the education sector. Enjoy our jobs for the most part and find them fulfilling albeit stressful at times!

Like I said not about blaming previous generations for the picture we are in, but I don’t like the rhetoric of ‘well interest rates went up to 15% in my day’ etc when house prices were so much lower in proportion to wages and the cost of living right now and inflation over the last 10 years shows wages haven’t increased in line with this.

ps I know we are not the most hard done by! But still feel the pinch and we certain don’t live an extravagant lifestyle!

@Talonz , regardless of the sniping, I shan't be the person who cannot afford my care home and expects the state to pay.

Ha it would be interesting to study this thread for sure but I’m not sure how ethical.

I actually finished my PhD 3 years ago, it took me 8 years part time. DS was 18 months when I submitted my thesis.
I was already employed as a lecturer before I got my PhD.

When you phrase it in that way it sounds rather positive 😊
I provided myself as an example but feel there are others.

Given the mixed responses here there is definitely a significant amount of people who do believe the avacado rhetoric or variations of it 🤣

You made a deluded claim that you were a net contributor. A ridiculous claim.

Sniping? I am explaining to you a very fundamental principle of how a modern democratic and fully-funded society should work. And that is at the basic level. We have not even considered how we could achieve a sovereign wealth fund.

You're overstating his hours I think, and he won't get paid for his lunch break.

He doesn't work for 16 weeks of the year. That's three more weeks holiday than even a state school TA gets.

He's free to work in those holidays, or to take an evening or weekend job. He works seriously part time hours over a year, which is why he earns so little

Or, as you say, he could take a better paying job and relieve some of his wife's stress.

Alternatively he could learn some simple DIY skills. Even if he just showed willing, I'm sure the OP would feel more supported.

.

You are doing really well ,but you are not wrong in thinking life should be better. For you, your husband and your child.

@Talonz may I gently suggest that you go and count the half a mill you'll be putting aside for your corporation tax this year.

I'm not sure who you are or who you think you are but I doubt Rachel from accounts pays corporation tax or knows what fungible means.

OP has already said he could earn more by working in a state school rather than private, so no more childcare but more money… Also DH was working there on a low wage before they had DC, when he could have been earning more and paying down the mortgage.

But it wasn't unusual for one parent to be part time a generation ago. And I think it's actually better for the kids to have one available parent. I say this as being the available parent due to childcare costs. Everyone saying how lucky I was. I'm not lucky..my income and pension suffered...but my kids were lucky. And for that I'm grateful

OP does your DH even earn minimum
wage?

This. ^ I am not engaging with that one particular poster now.

I see her. 👀

The country as a whole is struggling. PIP should be to help with daily living costs for those who cannot live a “normal” life, not those who choose not to because they feel like it, despite having been capable of getting a degree, several jobs, a wife, a child, home, mortgage. DH sounds more than capable, he just doesn’t want to change his comfortable life being financially supported by OP.

Agreed.

I did that too, and we struggled on DH’s f/t wage and my p/t earnings, but wanted to put DC first and also save some on childcare (no family support whatsoever). However, I did work f/t before DC which OP’s DH didn’t, and even a generation or more go it would have been unusual for one party to not work f/t before DC came along, unless they were m/c.

Its hard when you can't win the argument 😀

I was born in a poor family raised poor but with sense.
Im still poor by MN standards but better off than some rich in a lot of other ways.

As a woman, how can you honestly say that our generation is worse off than previous ones? I don’t know a single woman of an older generation who earned what I do when they were my age. I don’t know a single one who had the opportunities and career support I have had both as a young woman and as a mother with a career. Obviously they are out there, but it was far rarer than today.

As women, we have never had it so good from a financial perspective. There is still some way to go, but to say that we are worse off is ridiculous.

I also do not worry for my children. They will be provided with an amazing education and raised to have a strong work ethic. Hopefully they will travel and they will carve out a decent life for themselves. They will have ups and downs but they will have resilience and figure it out. Just like previous generations.

I had this exact conversation with someone last night. Totally agree.

Reading the thread I think a PP hit the nail on the head when they said that living standards improved drastically during the course of the boomer generation's lifetime. It's true that in the 60s women had fewer opportunities, people weren't going on holidays abroad and they couldn't buy cheap clothes and gadgets like we do now. However, there is something hopeful and gratifying about feeling like life is getting easier, wealth is accumulating and things are becoming more affordable.

By contrast I think a lot of millennials feel quite stuck. Average wages haven't increased in 15 years and many are trapped in a cycle of increasing rents, mounting debt and no savings. Everyday essentials are becoming more expensive and public services are getting worse.

There's a general sense of hopelessness which breeds the kind of resentment and bitterness which can be seen in this thread. It's easy to point the finger e.g. at boomers, Brexit voters, BTL landlords but ultimately it comes down to poor (short-termist) decisions made by successive governments.

So you would consider divorce?
If financially viable.

Ha! no I wouldn’t that was not my point…

My point was not sure how that would help matters anyway! Even if I was so inclined…

I think you are right. My DD is early 30s and I was staggered when I realised all her friends of a similar age were still in quite short term flat shares (DD is in a house share) or living with relatives. The only ones who have bought property were those who inherited substantial sums of money. DD's friends have solid jobs in a variety of industries. Travel and rental prices are crippling them.

Ds2 is nearly 28 and lives with us.
He is saving up hard, but on your own is harder to get a deposit together esp as we are in the south east area and it's expensive
He may have to move a fair way out if he wants a place as his sibling did.
His friends are a mix of private renting with friends / strangers and one couple had a lot of money given to them for a deposit on a house and have been on the property ladder a while. The majority live at home.
If there are two of you saving it's a bit easier , but they seem to all be working full time and not much to show for it at the moment.

To me a lot of people are missing the overall point a bit.
Fundamentally at a countrywide level median salaries have risen something like 45% in the past 15 years and average house prices have risen more like 75%.
I recall when I started uni average uk house price was under £70k and buying a small house on a graduate salary of £15-18k seemed super achievable. By the time I graduated average prices were over £110k and it had become much more difficult. I think it’s been a huge problem for many years that house price increases have massively outstripped salary increases. I do think some older people (though certainly not all) can be a bit oblivious to that and therefore believe the issue is purely expecting more luxuries, failing to save etc which can be very frustrating for younger people to hear.
It’s absolutely not that people in prior generations didn’t work hard or have struggles it’s that prior generations were operating in a very different environment related to housing affordability.

Thank you this was really exactly the point of the thread!

Year on year the situation is getting worse for each younger generation coming through.

I can’t even comprehend what it will be for my DS in 20 years who is 5 currently!

You sound my age, I remember house prices quadrupling almost overnight. While wages did not shift at all. All the boomers cheered, made arrangements to retire early and told us how selfish we were for complaining. 20 years on, those graduate salaries are only about 5k higher and also, crucially, no higher than those for unskilled jobs like cleaning while carrying lifelong debts. That average wage increase includes the more-than-doubling of minimum wage and vast increases for the top, while the middle has been decimated making it harder to work up.

It’s just not worth working any more.