Generational wealth differences

[KeenGreen]

My first AIBU so let’s see what I’m in for!

First to make clear none of the problems now are the fault of previous generations. It is not a blame game!!

So AIBU to be frustrated with the rhetoric that todays generations of young families have it no harder than previous generations in terms of wealth and they just need to be more frugal to have the same standard of living??

I am sick of hearing the idea that older generations. So called boomers (for the record I don’t like this term) didn’t have it easier than younger generations.

I am 38 I have worked since I was 16, lived independently since 17. Put myself through university all the way through to PhD. My husband is 39 works in a school as support staff (LSA) and takes up circa £1200 a month. He has a degree.
I work in a university and earn just under £50K before tax so our household income is probably about £65K not the lowest by any stretch but enough for us to struggle to balance costs. We claim child benefit but otherwise no extra help.
Husband only works term time of course, but that means he’s around for our child during holidays.

We have one DC age 5, and can’t afford any more.
Our closest family lives over 2 hours away, so we have no family support with childcare or help if there is a sick day or anything.

We have a mortgaged small semi detached 1930s house with 3 bedrooms, It needs a lot of work but we haven’t been able to do much because of time and money. Current mortgage fix ends in 2026 and I expect our mortgage repayments to go up by about 50% extra £300 a month.

We pay off student loans and my pension contributions are also high.
I took only 6 months maternity leave because I couldn’t afford to go to half pay for long and not into no pay at all.

My husband had virtually nothing in his workplace pension because of low earnings.
Mine is keep being devalued because of sector changes and it’s definitely not the best pension in education. (Teachers pensions are better).
I can’t even imagine what it will be like to try and live off my workplace pension alone and I would have to go all the way up to retirement age which I can’t imagine myself doing in a stressful job.

Retirement age for us is currently 68, that means we have 30 more years.
But with the way things are going I have no hope that there will be a state pension at all for us, or the age will be pushed even higher, so will probably be dead! Despite the fact I will have been paying in with tax national insurance for 50 plus years by that point.

I just feel frustrated about this idea that I hear people say that our generation just needs to work harder, or get better paid jobs etc because it’s not that easy. We both work hard in the education sector. Enjoy our jobs for the most part and find them fulfilling albeit stressful at times!

Like I said not about blaming previous generations for the picture we are in, but I don’t like the rhetoric of ‘well interest rates went up to 15% in my day’ etc when house prices were so much lower in proportion to wages and the cost of living right now and inflation over the last 10 years shows wages haven’t increased in line with this.

ps I know we are not the most hard done by! But still feel the pinch and we certain don’t live an extravagant lifestyle!

Because @ploppydoppy she said 'I just feel frustrated about this idea that I hear people say that our generation just needs to work harder, or get better paid jobs etc because it’s not that easy. We both work hard in the education sector.'

I know TAs work hard. But he's not 1) a professional and 2) he's paid a pittance (all TAs are).

So if she expects more money, he needs to earn more money by using his professional qualification.

I am a full time senior lecturer, I am contracted 52 weeks of the year.
There is a shutdown week between Christmas and new year but otherwise I can take time off by booking annual leave.
I am restricted to when I can take annual leave as it can’t fall during teaching weeks (I can’t book half term off for example as it’s a teaching week) I take most of it during the summer.

My contract doesn’t stipulate set hours but during hectic teaching weeks it can end up excessive. I was up to 2am several nights this week to get marking finished. We have had staff members leave and retire in the last 2 years and because the university sector is on its knees they are not replaced and we have to pick up the slack including extra teaching. I work at a post 92 FYI.

I don't think we should be ignoring the fact that the UK has declining standards of living just because oneself is doing fine. It's a concern for all of us and we will all be effected in one way or another. Those that are not bothered just havent been on the receiving end of it YET.

OR....we need to pay our TAs better

Possibly right for the boomer fathers who in the main had very little to do with their kids - arrived home from work/golf/the pub after kids in bed.

Very true

I have a family member who does this job. I couldn't do it if you paid me £1million a year. There is way more to the job than call-taking and aside from the time wasters, there is an emotional aspect to the roll that I wouldn't have anticipated. It's one of those jobs that perhaps people don't think of doing but it's not one that can be done by just anyone. Like caring. Or childcare. You need to be of a certain ilk to make this job work.

Op do you have a lot of debt? That's a pretty small mortgage for your income and ages. Not sure why you're struggling quite so much. You should be pretty comfortable.

So if she expects more money, he needs to earn more money by using his professional qualification.

But plenty of professionals with professional jobs have crap salaries, wages in general here are low. You must have read about wage stagnation?

50k is the equivalent to 40k 5 yrs ago.

We are not denigrating them. But opting for one of the lowest paid jobs in education isn't the best financial choice. Only dinner ladies and school cleaners are paid less.

Teaching assistants work really hard. And they are very valuable. But the pay is sh*t.

Yes - you have to be unshockable but sensitive enough to read between the lines (ie the woman who called to order a pizza but was actually calling to report DV)

I think this is entirely reasonable, but @karmakameleon , every generation makes different and new compromises. My compomise was not having a baby until I was 43. Because I watched my DM struggle as a cast--off wife and swore that I would always be financially independent. Ironically, I'm not now but I made huge contributions to the family finances that underpin our life. I don't earn much but my injection of the proceeds of the sale of my London batchelor flat paid off our mortgage and kick-started our pension. And 20 years later, that investment is still putting £40k pa back. I don't take it for granted, I look after the asset and the tenant (it's a commercial property) like a first born.

It's unpleasant how the word "boomer" is used so pejoratively as though everyone born during that period hates their children. All of our close friends are boomers. All have helped and supported their children, emotionally and economically.

You cannot assume all "boomers" dislike their children because that is your experience.

Teaching assistants don't earn a living wage. Schools rely on TAs mostly being married women with husbands to earn the bulk of the family income. The OP & her husband have just reversed the gender ratio.

It's wrong, how little they're paid. No doubt about that. But a lot of TAs are not university educated.

Plenty of people have said they admire your family’s work/life balance, that’s been your choice, it’s nothing to do with the sexes of the partners. What people have stressed that as a two parent family, but only getting £65k a year is seriously low income for joint, highly qualified people. That income would’ve been considered fairly low even 15+ years ago. It is as it is………lots of people have had to make difficult choices given the cost of living, having children, the type of house, area, jobs, etc, etc….……if you want what others have, you’ll have to put in the effort like everyone else…..even if you don’t want to. Can’t have it both ways.

@MiserableMrsMopp some are

It’s totally untrue that women didn’t work both my Mother and Grandmother worked FT. Middle class women didn’t work. Part of the issue is Blair’s we are all middle class now and expectations. As much as bettering yourself is always good and you write you were first in the family to University there are not enough really well paid jobs for the amount of graduates now. There never will be. Worth mentioning again the rise of graduates to now 38%.

Housing shortages : single occupancy households in the early 1970’s around 10%, current day just over 30%. It’s people living longer and also the change in people choosing or just being single.

Immigration has increased the demand on housing, everyone is so scared of being seen as racist on MN they pretend it hasn’t had an effect. My Dad was an invited commonwealth immigrant. I’m mixed race and fully support a system like Australia but I have zero white guilt about the empire, maybe half of me should?

Teaching assistants don't earn a living wage. Schools rely on TAs mostly being married women with husbands to earn the bulk of the family income. The OP & her husband have just reversed the gender ratio.

It's wrong, how little they're paid. No doubt about that. But a lot of TAs are not university educated.

Well from working in schools, I know lots of TAs who were in teaching but can't stand the pressure anymore..: or TAs who had good jobs but couldn't juggle childcare etc

I guess it goes both ways, your experiences are also one sided

Yes we pay for afterschool club 4 days a week. For a 4.30pm pick up. I manage to do pick up at normal time once a week, and then work later that evening.

Luckily DS school opens at 8.30 so I can do school drop off, and then one of us will pick up depending on my teaching timetable that week or if it’s the night DH works later.

It was easier when DS was in nursery 8-5 but then even more expensive even when he has funded hours when he turned 3.

Do you honour Remembrance Sunday? Lives are worth more than £26,500 a year.

Do you drive on roads?

Do you sleep better knowing we have a police force, without which you would almost certainly be paying protection money?

Do you pay less insurance because the collective risks for which we all insure are mitigated by central and local government expenditure?

I pay 16x more than you each year in corporation tax, NIC and income tax and while I may have the odd grumble about some of the wastage I know that generally it is ensuring society functions.

If we abolished taxes and returned the country back to fiefdoms you would probably be one of the first to complain that life is intolerable.

Some are what? University educated? About half at my sons school are.

What people have stressed that as a two parent family, but only getting £65k a year is seriously low income for joint, highly qualified people. That income would’ve been considered fairly low even 15+ years ago.

If you earned 65k 15 yrs ago that's 100k today.

@MiserableMrsMopp some are denigrating the OP. Do keep up!

But it is not YOU that needs to earn more. No one knows whether he could cope or not. And to get a higher salary even for a few years would make a massive difference to the family. They cannot just say they are doing their best to earn more money when they clearly are not!