Generational wealth differences

[KeenGreen]

My first AIBU so let’s see what I’m in for!

First to make clear none of the problems now are the fault of previous generations. It is not a blame game!!

So AIBU to be frustrated with the rhetoric that todays generations of young families have it no harder than previous generations in terms of wealth and they just need to be more frugal to have the same standard of living??

I am sick of hearing the idea that older generations. So called boomers (for the record I don’t like this term) didn’t have it easier than younger generations.

I am 38 I have worked since I was 16, lived independently since 17. Put myself through university all the way through to PhD. My husband is 39 works in a school as support staff (LSA) and takes up circa £1200 a month. He has a degree.
I work in a university and earn just under £50K before tax so our household income is probably about £65K not the lowest by any stretch but enough for us to struggle to balance costs. We claim child benefit but otherwise no extra help.
Husband only works term time of course, but that means he’s around for our child during holidays.

We have one DC age 5, and can’t afford any more.
Our closest family lives over 2 hours away, so we have no family support with childcare or help if there is a sick day or anything.

We have a mortgaged small semi detached 1930s house with 3 bedrooms, It needs a lot of work but we haven’t been able to do much because of time and money. Current mortgage fix ends in 2026 and I expect our mortgage repayments to go up by about 50% extra £300 a month.

We pay off student loans and my pension contributions are also high.
I took only 6 months maternity leave because I couldn’t afford to go to half pay for long and not into no pay at all.

My husband had virtually nothing in his workplace pension because of low earnings.
Mine is keep being devalued because of sector changes and it’s definitely not the best pension in education. (Teachers pensions are better).
I can’t even imagine what it will be like to try and live off my workplace pension alone and I would have to go all the way up to retirement age which I can’t imagine myself doing in a stressful job.

Retirement age for us is currently 68, that means we have 30 more years.
But with the way things are going I have no hope that there will be a state pension at all for us, or the age will be pushed even higher, so will probably be dead! Despite the fact I will have been paying in with tax national insurance for 50 plus years by that point.

I just feel frustrated about this idea that I hear people say that our generation just needs to work harder, or get better paid jobs etc because it’s not that easy. We both work hard in the education sector. Enjoy our jobs for the most part and find them fulfilling albeit stressful at times!

Like I said not about blaming previous generations for the picture we are in, but I don’t like the rhetoric of ‘well interest rates went up to 15% in my day’ etc when house prices were so much lower in proportion to wages and the cost of living right now and inflation over the last 10 years shows wages haven’t increased in line with this.

ps I know we are not the most hard done by! But still feel the pinch and we certain don’t live an extravagant lifestyle!

I undertsand, and agree it sounds like undiagnosed autism. And I am also annoyed that people seem to give NO value to his contribution of working in the home and being there for your child.
This is invaluable and we don't value it enough in society anymore.

I would look at the Austrlian model

Yes, it's absolutely invaluable and historically families with one full-timer and one low paid part-timer have always been worse off than two full-timers. It's a decision the op and her dh have taken, but having taken it the op is complaining that they are hard up. Unfortunately that's how it rolls.

Yanbu, however you've admitted that your DH hasn't pushed himself work wise. He's on a very low wage, doing a job he's good at and enjoys.

I respect his choices, however most people with more money will have really pushed themselves and worked long hours, a lot of stress etc.

I think you've made sensible choices, but are not doing badly, considering you haven't pushed yourselves work wise. In some ways very sensible, as very stressful careers often have health issues before retirement, heart attacks etc

Your husband working as a TA is holding you back. Fair enough, you've made that choice to support your family, but TAs never earn a living wage.

Imagine if a man started a post about his wife working as a TA, no way would he be told the above

Desperate housing crisis, CoL is through the roof and 2/3 of pensioner's who privately rent live in poverty -not doing well at all!

Would you also look at the Australian model for healthcare, and immigration?

This model is benificial for the children. We should support it more in society

I have to agree with you.

Then the OP also mentions that her DH is not very good at DIY. DIY can be easily self taught or skills learnt by attending evening classes etc. Even you tube covers lots of step by step guides.

YES

So can I. We are old and wise women.

Weirdest post ever.

"We are so educated but choose to work part time / in lowly paying sector, why can't we get ahead?"

My parents are Boomers and they live in poverty. You need to stop believing everything you read.

Of course he would. It's fine for one spouse to have a job that allows school pick ups, do before and after childcare, shorter working hours etc etc. But those jobs are low paid. If families value quality time with their children over money/career, it is a great choice. But the price of that is low wages. TAs are notoriously poorly paid. Minimum wage. YES they are absolutely vital to the running of schools. But no one goes into that work for the money.

historically families with one full-timer and one low paid part-timer have always been worse off than two full-timers.

there is nuance though, childcare cost make a difference.

And privledged and lacking in critical thinking

What about the model for sexism, violence against women, and racism?

This truly is is very valuable to us as a family to have a semblance of work life balance and that he is able to pick up the slack of household duties when I am working circa 50 hours a week.

We also have no local family to support, I know some others have that and so that helps too, to facilitate having two professional worker parents.

I also can’t help but wonder if the roles were reversed the wife was the LSA, and the husband earned 50K whether so many people who have taken umbrage to it?

Ultimately our finances are pooled and it works out something like 65K income for the household. If I was told 5 years ago this would be our income I thought we would have been so well off. But today it just doesn’t feel it. We have to be very careful with money.

I disagree @MiserableMrsMopp he would be told his wife was going the valuable job of looking after his dc etc

@RosesAndHellebores
Well bully for you. I've got 47 years and pay about £2,200k pcm in tax and NI and very little of that has been for my benefit or for the benefit of my own family.

Why do you claim to get no benefit from the tax and NIC you pay?

Unless you live in, and will permanently remain in, a country that has no reciprocal social security treaty with the UK, that is an unusual claim to make.

I am not going to disclose my financial situation in reponse to your goady messages. I am making my case regardless of my personal circumstances. You should try it

We are talking about financials , not culture

It is valuable. And it's a choice the couple made together.

But you can't do an entry level job and expect a professional salary.

It's not a race to the bottom!
Switch that from Boomers blah blah to Millenials onwards shafted by successive governments, Brexit, quantative easing,etc
Do you think if we achieve this race to the bottom just to ease your bitterness and spite successive generations will benefit?
They wont-the shit show will continue in a downwards spiral and guess what?
They will say " you voted for it"

I'm ok financially but don't work ft even though dc are in school. Every thing I earn would be taxed at 40% & I'd spend more on wraparound which adds up plus be more stressed and frazzled & my dc wouldn't be able to do so many activities.

But you can't do an entry level job and expect a professional salary.

Why do you think the OP expected that?