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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Will I regret not making amends?

9 replies

Vodkawodka · 22/02/2025 22:19

Will try to keep short-ish. I am no longer speaking to a family member. Her husband abused me as a teen and although she split with him, she did many things that have messed me up. She used to let him come round to see their kids when I was there (after the abuse was known), made me feel bad about spending less time with her and kids as I got older and I felt less comfortable, and then never told her kids anything that happened. So her kids always grew up thinking our side of the family didn't care about them at times as we couldn't be in the same room as my abuser and didn't see them as often as other family members. I had to lie about why I couldn't go to events as the abuser and his enabler family would be there.

I finally had enough a few years ago and had to tell her that she had to tell her kids some of the truth and stop making us lie (not the entire truth just stop making us out to be the bad guys) or I couldnt do it anymore. I did this very politely too. She decided to block me on all forms of contact and never spoken to me since. She stopped speaking to most of the family initially but gradually has wormed her way back in as they all just tolerate her behaviour. Anyway I now have no relationship with her or her kids which makes me very sad. I feel I cannot try to make amends without throwing away all self respect?

She used to let all my younger family around this person with no supervision, knowing what he was capable of and I had no ability to stop it as everyone in my family went along, I spent most of my teens wondering if he had actually even done anything to me as I couldn't understand why no one seemed to care/do anything. I do know that she was also probably a victim but as the primary victim, I feel she made the damage much worse. I don't know what to do - I worry I may regret never trying to fix things but also feel I'd be hurting myself if I do?

OP posts:
UninterestingFirstPost · 22/02/2025 22:21

She doesn’t deserve a second more of your thoughts and doesn’t deserve to be in your life in any way.

Pessismistic · 22/02/2025 22:24

Vodkawodka · 22/02/2025 22:19

Will try to keep short-ish. I am no longer speaking to a family member. Her husband abused me as a teen and although she split with him, she did many things that have messed me up. She used to let him come round to see their kids when I was there (after the abuse was known), made me feel bad about spending less time with her and kids as I got older and I felt less comfortable, and then never told her kids anything that happened. So her kids always grew up thinking our side of the family didn't care about them at times as we couldn't be in the same room as my abuser and didn't see them as often as other family members. I had to lie about why I couldn't go to events as the abuser and his enabler family would be there.

I finally had enough a few years ago and had to tell her that she had to tell her kids some of the truth and stop making us lie (not the entire truth just stop making us out to be the bad guys) or I couldnt do it anymore. I did this very politely too. She decided to block me on all forms of contact and never spoken to me since. She stopped speaking to most of the family initially but gradually has wormed her way back in as they all just tolerate her behaviour. Anyway I now have no relationship with her or her kids which makes me very sad. I feel I cannot try to make amends without throwing away all self respect?

She used to let all my younger family around this person with no supervision, knowing what he was capable of and I had no ability to stop it as everyone in my family went along, I spent most of my teens wondering if he had actually even done anything to me as I couldn't understand why no one seemed to care/do anything. I do know that she was also probably a victim but as the primary victim, I feel she made the damage much worse. I don't know what to do - I worry I may regret never trying to fix things but also feel I'd be hurting myself if I do?

I would leave things as they are your the victim here and she’s protecting the abuser. Chances are as kids get older they will find out. It’s sad when families fall out but she’s blocked you so go along with it. Things might change in the future but you should put yourself first.

Quitelikeit · 22/02/2025 22:28

This woman is vile. Do not let her back into your life.

I cannot believe she has not told her children that their father is a paedophile.

I will never understand those type of women

Freshflower · 22/02/2025 22:31

Its a very sad situation that you are in. I honestly would never feel guilty about not making amends with her. In all honesty she doesn't sound like a particularly nice person. I think you are better off without her in your life. As fie the children, it's very sad. Maybe when they get older they will learn the truth. Why on earth would a woman be around a guy and let young family around him knowing what he is capable of. It's truly unbelievable!!!

Vodkawodka · 22/02/2025 22:33

Thanks all, I just need a bit of reassurance. I know she has issues which is why I put up with it for so long but really do think that she's caused me so many lasting problems, feeling like I was less important than her kids etc and grew up in a family that just turned the other way. I have been having therapy for it but god I feel that the things that came after are almost harder to come to terms with than the abuse itself, if that makes sense. It was a long time ago and wish it didn't affect me anymore but I guess it is a process.

OP posts:
Vodkawodka · 22/02/2025 22:35

Also, the issue is really more that I have no relationship with her kids who I loved as she made sure of that when she blocked me. They're adults now too so not sure it'll ever get resolved

OP posts:
Pessismistic · 22/02/2025 23:03

Vodkawodka · 22/02/2025 22:33

Thanks all, I just need a bit of reassurance. I know she has issues which is why I put up with it for so long but really do think that she's caused me so many lasting problems, feeling like I was less important than her kids etc and grew up in a family that just turned the other way. I have been having therapy for it but god I feel that the things that came after are almost harder to come to terms with than the abuse itself, if that makes sense. It was a long time ago and wish it didn't affect me anymore but I guess it is a process.

I think abuse will always affect you. Even with therapy but if it gets too much just find someone you trust to talk to. She has made her bed. It should be her regret tbh as you tried to have a relationship with her and her kids she’s took that away not you.

Vodkawodka · 22/02/2025 23:24

Pessismistic · 22/02/2025 23:03

I think abuse will always affect you. Even with therapy but if it gets too much just find someone you trust to talk to. She has made her bed. It should be her regret tbh as you tried to have a relationship with her and her kids she’s took that away not you.

Yeah I think I'd blocked out all the things that the rest of my family did after the abusive situation until I had therapy which then brought up all these issues so it's probably just a long process. That helps though as I blame myself when I haven't actually been the one to cut contact

OP posts:
Pessismistic · 22/02/2025 23:26

Vodkawodka · 22/02/2025 23:24

Yeah I think I'd blocked out all the things that the rest of my family did after the abusive situation until I had therapy which then brought up all these issues so it's probably just a long process. That helps though as I blame myself when I haven't actually been the one to cut contact

Exactly it’s her problem and you are trying your best to live your life as best you can so don’t let her spoil anything else for you.

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