To feel sad about this?

[Ezlo]

My ex and I were only together about 18 months. We parted ways amicably and have stayed good friends since. We broke up about 6 years ago.

He since found a girlfriend who he's been with over three years now. She's horrible to him (I've seen the text messages and heard the phone calls). She doesn't know we still meet up. She'd be furious if she knew. She got really angry when his 9 year old daughter mentioned my name when they were all together once. He's scared to leave her because the people she knows and her family are rough. She also posts things about him on social media when he's pissed her off. Pissing her off can include him having his daughter (he has majority custody) and she refuses to see him when he has his dd. She's jealous of his dd and the time attention his dd takes away when they're all together. She's a very sweet kid, been through a lot with her mother and sometimes this displays in her behaviour but by far it's not the worst behaviour ever.

Anyway, when he's not with her he'll come round on the weekend and we'll go out for dinner or watch tv together. It's nice. The times he's with her though I feel sad. I definitely don't want him back and don't love him romantically. Why do I feel sad and rejected then?

He would be better off just telling her it’s over his kid needs him and she will always be his priority it’s only going to get worse and if she hears you are still meeting up she’s not going to be too happy can you not persuade him to get out for his dc sake. There’s no future together anyway if she doesn’t like his dc.

This isn't your problem.

He sounds like a bit of a coward for being afraid to end things. It's up to him to take charge.

I would also be annoyed if my partner was secretly meeting another woman.

I don't think you should be involving yourself in this.

I think you feel sad because you care about him (not in a romantic way) and you can see the difficulty he’s in and how it’s affecting him and his daughter.

I agree that a way out of his problem (if he really wants to, but that’s another conversation) is to do as @Pessismistic suggests.

Can he offer the mum a bit of extra time and tell his GF his parenting responsibilities have increased and he needs to prioritise his daughter, while at the same time drastically cutting back on any time spent with GF. If she’s not into the kids thing, that may be enough to get her to go.