Is this a normal amount to drink?

[sweetsandsour]

NC for this.

DH drinks at home. I never drink, never have. No reason for this, no trauma or drama I just don’t want to and I hate the smell and taste of wine and beer.
He will drink alcohol probably 4/5 times a week, sometimes more. I’d say 4 beers cans/bottles and a whole bottle of wine. He will sometimes have 2 or 3 pints when we’re out having a meal then come home and drink another 4 cans and maybe a small single bottle of wine.
He does sometimes appear drunk - slurring words slightly, and eyes look a bit glazed and he’ll raid the fridge eating snacks and things he would not eat sober. Never has hangover. Never behaves badly (aggressive, violent or argumentative) and never sick.

He is retired, fit and well and does sporty hobbies a few times a week. We are financially fairly well off.

Is this a normal amount to drink or has he got an alcohol problem? Writing it down makes me feel that we both have an alcohol problem.

YABU sounds normal amount to drink

YANBU he has got an alcohol problem

It would be too much alcohol in my marriage.

I think it’s a lot yeah. 4 beers and a bit of wine on one night ie the weekend = fine. Every day? No

Does he seem fine in the morning? You may have a functioning alcoholic as a dh.

DH and I both drink more than the NHS tell us we should, big that feels like a lot to me. I would say 2-3 glasses of wine or cans of beer in a day is ‘normal’ for people who like a drink. This is significantly more than that.

Bottle of wine is 10 unit and 2.4 in a can of beer. So he is having around 100 units a week. NHS recommends between 0 to 14 units a week.

That's alot! Once In a while yes, maybe even once a week but so regularly is excessive.

That is an excessive amount to drink. I would definitely consider your husband to have a drink problem based on that amount of intake. It's not normal to drink that much.

4 beers plus a whole bottle of wine would be just about within nhs limits for a msn if spread across a whole week. So he's having 4-5 times the recommended maximum, or around 100 units a week. That's a vast amount of alcohol.

Yes he’s absolutely fine in the mornings. He’s not overweight and has no health problems at all - he always sails through medicals. But he does lie about how much alcohol he drinks when he’s asked by medical professionals. He knows it’s too much I think but because it doesn’t affect his health (yet or that he can see) he feels it’s acceptable.

Government guidance I ignore as it’s rubbish based on European guidance. But the OP is drinking way too much irrespective of which guidance is being followed.

He’s drinking more than the weekly recommended maximum on the days he drinks. So yes it’s not healthy and will likely lead to higher risks of health conditions. As well as possibly being over the limit to drive the next morning.
That said, you can’t make someone change their drinking habits. They have to want to themselves.
Perhaps ask for a Fibroscan to check his liver health (can be referred via GP) and focus on his physical health instead of possible dependence. That’s an easier conversation starter.

He’s a drinker. As to whether it’s too much- almost a moot point. It’ll be far too much for a sherry at Xmas drinker, it can be a usual weekly amount for many drinkers for many.

over his units- of course. Bad for his long term health- almost certainly.

”too much”? It really depends what you mean by this tbh. It appears habitual, it must be a very big part of his life.

I personally know I drink too much by all the recommendations but it’s ultimately my decision. Obviously if ppl know their limits and choose to ignore them, that’s their decision. Hopefully they have considered their options.

Thanks everyone. I knew it was too much I guess but just wanted to hear some cold perspectives. It’s his choice but it does concern me. Something to think about.

Hi OP I found your post while looking for threads on this.
My DH I think also has a problem but like yours, sails through medicals and is very sporty and active.
Has a close friend group and when they get together they drink a lot. Proper binge drinking. Then time will pass with no drinking for a while.
I'm posting because we just got back from holiiday staying with relatives. They are on a health kick and they drank a lot less than he was probably expecting. We came home - fine. Yesterday, first day back, he bought a bottle of white (for me) and a bottle of red for him. Last night he drank all the red. That's fairly normal. I had a glass of white last night. Just been to look at the bottle of white - there's about a quarter left.