SS speaking to DC in school

[Anxietystrikesagainyay]

I know this isn’t a AIBU, but I’m posting for traffic as I’m anxious, sorry.

Eldest DS has severe autism and attends a SEN school.

Currently struggling in school and having lots of meltdowns as OCD and changing of routine moving class had upset him, then will sometimes come home and carry on being upset, so was reffeded to learning disability service aka CAMHS northwest alternative, as we don’t have one here.

They suggested we have a social worker so he can get some respite on weekends to go out 1:1 for a couple of hours, and other dc can do something they want to do (I declined this multiple times as I take all dc out together on weekends and manage) but on the last time they came, they said try it he might enjoy it, so I said there’s no harm in trying, fine.

Call from SS on Friday, they have received the referral from learning disability service and said they were told me family is at breakdown point? I didn’t say this but ok, and they wish to speak to my dc in school to see how it’s effecting them having a singling with autism and how they’re coping/ feeling etc. I was a little shocked but agreed as I didn’t want to sound like I had anything to hide and gave them permission to contact school and my youngest is at nursery. A little worried what he will say as he’s a toddler and doesn’t understand. But just looking for reassurance if anyone knows what will happen now.

If it's early help then it's doubtful you will get respite , well you wouldn't in my LA. Only disability SW assessment and a panel agreeing this would mean this happens.
I imagine the referrer has said risk of breakdown to get you to meet threshold for support.
I have to say a lot of agencies refer in for a disability assessment but threshold criteria means a child may not get their support and maybe sent to early help instead.

@Itonlytakesaminute so what do early help actually do then?

Parenting support, work with your other children on wishes and feelings if needed, look at SEN specific activities your son can go to (not respite just activities for a few hours) maybe Young Carers for your younger children (not saying they do direct care but it's some groups they can go to)
Tbh though if you are managing well, which it sounds like you are, there won't be much,
They will not take your children off you, neither will a disability social worker.

I agreed for ss to speak to my kids in school and it went fine...you're seriously best off being as co operative as possible like you said

Maybe I’m cynical and jaded but I suspect they put it so bluntly so that you would say “oh no… we’re not at breaking point” and then they can step your case straight down to early help which will probably not involve anyone doing very much and will cost a lot less money than providing proper respite care. People in social services aren’t bad people but their services are stretched beyond belief and they don’t have the time or resources to help all the families who need it.

For us having my nt child referral for young carers was really valuable - to have a break from disabled sibling, to see they are not the only one like them, to make friends with other young carers. It was only possible if disabled child had a social worker.
Now in high school they can plug in with other young carers, and school are aware of the home situation with mum caring 24/7 for the sibling.
It was scary at first but only after starting respite etc dud my nt child say they wanted more time with me.