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Daughters forgotten birthday…

3 replies

Simplelife21 · 22/02/2025 18:05

Yesterday it was my daughter’s 3rd birthday..

Out of my 3 siblings, my mum, my dad and his partner and my 2 best friends only one sister and one best friend has made any actual effort with my daughters birthday!

What bothers me most is that my daughter is the youngest of 3 however has a different dad to the other two children and when it is my eldest two children’s birthday, family and friends make way more effort!

Recently, my best friend and her son have both had birthdays in which I sent cards and presents for. She has not acknowledged my daughter’s birthday and also forgot last year. Last year, she only remembered when I shared a photo and with her after the birthday. We do not see each other as regularly as I would like however I always make sure birthday and Christmas gifts arrive in good time.

My dad and his partner have also not messaged or sent a card. They have form for being last minute but not usually late. Recently it was his partners birthday, she also got a card and gift and I called on the day to wish her a happy birthday. We spoke about my daughters birthday plans so it is not like they have forgotten, we had only spoken last week!

What do I do now?

My eldest daughter’s birthday is only in a few weeks and I know the people above will message asking what she wants etc? Will they even realise they have completely forgotten my youngest ?

How do I deal with my youngest being treated differently to my two eldest children? It has been like this since for three years and I have distanced myself from some family members who thinks it is acceptable to treat my children differently.

OP posts:
Moonnstars · 22/02/2025 18:14

Call the family members. Then drop in that you are calling as you thought they would like to speak to your daughter and wish her a happy birthday. This might then prompt them into apologising.

DelphiniumBlue · 22/02/2025 18:26

I think this is often the deal with baby number 3. Even now ( and they are in their 20s) I get birthday wishes to pass on to DC1 but not the others.
It sounds as if your best friend just doesn't remember birthdays in the same way that you do, and the same for your Dad and his partner. It's just not such a big deal for some people. Personally, I'll take a present if I'm seeing someone on their birthday, but otherwise it's a text ( or more likely a message prompted by FB ).
You might want to rethink how you deal with their birthdays.. you'd think it would be a bigger deal for a child's birthday than for an adult's.

PoopingAllTheWay2 · 22/02/2025 18:30

When they message you asking what your older child would like you respond with something like

Thank you for the offer, but as you didnt get youngest anything last week for her birthday i would rather you didnt get anything for the oldest, as it isnt really fair
Maybe from now on, we forget about birthdays and Christmas’ for everyone, that way no-one is left out.
Have a good day

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