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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Dd(22), 4 kids overnight

34 replies

dontbethere · 22/02/2025 17:45

WIBU to let 22 year old dd look after 11, 8, 5 and 4 year old siblings for 2 nights?

Shes offered. I trust her but she has never had all of them overnight before on her own, though has some individually overnight and all of them throughout the day many times.
Me and DH would be hours away (for a close friends funeral) so wouldnt be able to get home quickly.

I know obviously it depends on lots of things but just wondering if others would think this was reasonable or not ?

OP posts:
Original poster
dontbethere · 22/02/2025 19:13

She's moved out but stays often and will obviously come here to look after them

OP posts:
Bournetilly · 22/02/2025 19:15

Yes I would definitely let her. They are all old enough to listen and understand.

JohnofWessex · 22/02/2025 19:22

My oldest son is now 24 and training to be a teacher but my other two boys now 14 & 16 follow him around very happily and we have no issues about leaving them with him.

BTW they are autistic so its not what it would be for neurotypical kids

When middle son went for Gold in the World Projectile Vomiting competition when my wife & I had our first post birth evening out although he was only 7 he helped the babysitter sort it by finding what was needed that we hadn't prepared for.

Which thinking about it means we missed many many nights out as we could have left him in charge 15 years ago.............

JohnofWessex · 22/02/2025 19:23

CrispieCake · 22/02/2025 18:17

Sounds fine. Leave money for pizza and some duct tape in case things get out of hand. That should keep them in line.

You forgot the cable ties..............

crumblingschools · 22/02/2025 20:37

@Bakedpotatoes she can enjoy having time with her siblings without being the one responsible for them

Original poster
dontbethere · 23/02/2025 11:58

We will let her.
When I said shes looked after them in the day many times that didn't mean it's something she has to or does regularly just that she has done it on more than a few occasions over the years.
There's no expectation that she ever has to babysit, she likes her siblings

OP posts:
mindutopia · 23/02/2025 12:03

I think it’s fine, though I’d be inclined to try to make it one night rather than 2. And if it is 2 nights (presumably 3 days if it’s so far away you need a day either side for traveling) that you have some back up support in place, someone who could come and help for a few hours in case she needs to run and do something. I’d also want to know she has a car that could fit them all.

PinkPinkPinkBlue · 23/02/2025 12:07

@dontbethere I asked this question about 2 weeks ago and was told it was not a good idea and verging on neglectful. The answers about chocking hazards, to much responsibility, safe guarding etc etc blew my mind. My dc are slightly different ages my eldest is a bit younger her but my other two much older than yours, dd20, ds16 and dd13.
Anyway go for it, they will be fine.

GiuliaTofana · 23/02/2025 12:39

Newshoesnewname · 22/02/2025 17:55

I had 2 step kids and one of my own at 22.

She will be fine.

Same! Although one stupid thing I did when ex h was working nights was agreed to let each child have a friend to stay (not my baby because he was a few months old) and the dsc told me they had other friends who felt left out and it bloody spiralled, I ended up with most the kids from our street watching movies eating chip buttys all night 😂
Now I’m older if I heard “mum so and so feels left out” they’d get, “it’s their turn next week then!”

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