To give up a wfh job and be a SAHM due to disability

[Holly184]

I currently work 30 hrs over 4 days from home. Reducing hours seems to result in less pay but an expectation that the same amount of work gets done.
A few years ago i had an accident. Im now a wheelchair user and have a lot of health issues because of my injury.
My job is very stressful with unrealistic expectations. I have been highlighting this for about 6 months but we are told by management that we just need to make it work. I hate my job and the only plus is that i can work from home and earn about 35k a year . I wouldn't manage an in person role .
We have 2 young children and could manage on my husband's salary (highish earner) and my pip. He recently suggested maybe now is the time to give up working. He is very supportive , great dad and picks up a-lot that i obviously cant do.

Yabu - stick with the job
Yanbu- give up the job and become a SAHM.

or is there another option that Im not seeing.

Reducing hours seems to result in less pay but an expectation that the same amount of work gets done. That is not acceptable and needs addressing with your HR department, as do the unrealistic expectations. I would do this before taking the decision to stop the job - unless that is actually what you would really like to do.

Difficult as you hate your job but also feel it would be crazy to give up such a role that’s work from home. If needed could you get a similar job at a different employer?

I would stick with it, just because of how difficult it may be to find another role in future that suits you (as WFH are so incredibly in demand at the moment and are likely to continue to be so as corporations keep driving the 'return to office' mandates)

It tends to be harder to find a new job after a break too. Which is extremely unfair I know. Can you try and find a new role that suits you whilst continuing to work in your current role?

Is it all or nothing? Could you not look for another job with less hours that is more manageable?

I gave up work 25 years ago due to disability. I had no choice but I do on a lot of days regret it it can be very isolating and difficult

Personally I'd give it up.
Focus on your health (physical and mental).

Reducing hours seems to result in less pay but an expectation that the same amount of work gets done.

I would raise this with HR too and maybe cut the hours. or find an alternative WFH role if possible. but given how hard it is to find these roles, I would try other ways to stay in employment first before giving it all up.

I'd hold on to that job - fully remote roles are becoming fewer and obviously there is a lot of competition to get one. It's a decent salary as well - more than mine which is also remote and 30 hours (over 5 days)! If you feel the need to drop to 3 days or even 4/5 shorter days then perhaps request that but not give it up totally.

I wouldn't rely on the pip as the government can change the goal posts on that any time really and it's never 100% guaranteed. I have also been a SAHM for many years reliant on my high earner husband and DLA for a child and whilst we can afford it - it's so nice to be earning some money again and putting into a pension and savings myself for if I find myself alone one day.

I'd try to get support from HR to make it work to preserve making my own money as long as possible. Becoming a FT SAHM could become boring and then what, roll onto being retired?
(I worked part time for almost 2 decades and work helped keep my mind more active and I then enjoyed the time with DC too).
I apologise if you are part of community activities and have other ventures to keep your mind active.

I would stick with the job for the reasons mentioned, but drop hours.

How is your job measured? My work is case load based and it would be easy for me to say 'right, over the past 12 months I've worked 14 cases per week on average. So now I'm dropping to 0.5 FTE, I will be working 7 cases'.

Can you gather as much evidence as possible about what your performance has been in the last 12 months? Dealt with X clients/cases, have run X training sessions, dealt with X projects a week - or whatever it looks like for your role?

Then go in with a 0.5FTE request and keep all this evidence. If your expected workload then starts to creep above 50% you're armed and ready to knock it back and readjust what they expect.

What will you do for mental stimulation when your kids aren't there? What happens financially if you or your husband decides to divorce? What will you do about a pension? Can you cope with the loneliness of not having colleagues? Can you cope with not contributing to society? Can you cope with being reliant on someone else to fund your food, clothes, social life, luxuries etc? Can you cope without drive, ambition, the prospective of seeing what you are capable of and progressing your career? There are so many negatives to not working, surely finding a way to make your current job work or looking for another job is a better solution.

@HoskinsChoice why do you believe a person can only get mental stimulation and contribute to society by having a paid job?

@Holly184 if you stop work but claim Child Benefit you will get National Insurance credits towards your state pension until your youngest turns 12.
If your husband is earning to much for you to actually receive the money you can claim but then you pay back the money - but you still get the credits.

It's really hard to give up work. I get full PIP too. I'm finding work harder and harder. I do have to go in for three days because it's a clinical position but also do two days management work from home.
My ex husband encouraged me to go part time. He said he would support me. He didn't and left out of the blue 6 months later. Because I couldn't get back full time, no full time hours available I ended up losing my home and having to move across country for another job and downsized home.
It was hellish having to do all that on my own being disabled with no help from anyone and very little money.
I'll never give up my independence again. Not for anyone.

As pp have suggested, approach the workload issue first, as a decent paid WFH job could be impossible to find when you may consider returning to the workplace when the kids get older.

Also, on your current plan make sure it can cover
PIP reduction or there's chatter that those on pip may need to also look for work soon (currently speculation only but I wouldn't want my finances relying on it)
Your retirement planning, can your husband cover the equivalent of your workplace pension moving to a private one?

Can you ask for occupational health to get involved? They might help work be achievable.

Are you able to look after 2 young children all day every day with your disability?

Gettingbysomehow Sorry to hear this happened to you.You have done so well to cope .We never know what life will throw at us .Good luck for your future sending hugs t you xx

Thank-you all for your advice .

I don't think my husband would leave me but then no one ever does which is where having some financial independence would be sensible. My current pension is worth 11k a year ,I get full pip but this is used up on costs related to my disability ( my wheel chair for example cost more than my car !) but it does help go towards the costs. we claim child benefit and pay it all back as we started claiming when earning less .

we could rent out our holiday home but im not sure how much this could bring in - i doubt it would be much . Or downsize our main home and pay into a pension but id need to look into this and i doubt we could match my current pension. We would need to look at money properly. I wouldn't be entitled to any benefits because of husband's wages this would be different if i was single obviously but i wouldn't want to rely on this .

my work have moved back to office but as i was recruited remotely and due to my disability being quite obvious they have allowed me to remain wfh . Colleges with Mh /ND have had a harder time regarding this .My end of year reviews are always great . Its quite a niche area but loads of transferable skills . I have been looking for another job and will keep looking.

ill start gathering evidence and show what can be done in my hours . I just hate not doing a good job but my colleagues feel the same way . We have all been highlighting this but they aren't interested .

I don't do anything other than work . My health difficulties are quite profound honestly getting showered or using the loo is a feat ! I rarely leave the house but i have good friends and family support . I wouldn't say i get any satisfaction from
my job i wouldn't miss it at all . I actually think i would be much happier not working and focusing on managing my heath and raising my family the best i can . With regards to not having my own money we have always just pooled our money so i dont think it would feel any different .

i think if i could mange another 10 years we will be in a much better position financially with no mortgage but the daily slog is taking a huge toll .

I can yes . Both primary aged but my daughter was 2 when this happened . Very tough ! but we adapted our lives and home as needed .

What will you do for mental stimulation when your kids aren't there?

I think the assumption that people mentally stagnate at home when the children are gone is a fallacy - and a bit insulting! Anyone with half a brain will fill their lives with things they enjoy. My children have left home and I am on my own - it would take ages to list all the things I do and the roles that I play in the community.

Indeed !
I definitely get a 1000 times more "mental stimulation" being at home than I ever did in my incredibly boring job 😂
I am sure the OP would find something to do.

Can you reduce your hours further?
You are in that no man's land where it's almost full time, so people find it hard to make that mental shift of expecting 30/35 % work from you, whereas it's a lot more obvious if you go down to 3 days.