DH not interested in DD’s sport

[Palsof]

DH takes DS 17yrs to football training and matches. DS is on 2 teams so it’s every weekend during the season. DH only stays to watch league or championship matches and leaves if DS on sub bench. DH and me share bringing DD 15yrs to her training but DH never stays to watch and never has brought her to her competitions since she was little. She is very hurt about this and the fact that DH goes to her brother’s matches. His reason is that he’s no interest in gymnastics so why would he go. The situation means I bring DD to all her competitions which can go on for hours, and I also attend as many of DS matches as I can, sometimes there is a clash and I have to prioritise DD as no way would DH even offer to swap. This has been the way the past 8 years despite my objections. I am now feeling guilty that this may be impacting DD self esteem.
AIBU to expect him to attend her sport even though he’s no interest? Can I expect her to accept this without it affecting her?

That's really sad. What does your DD say about this?
If they have otherwise a good relationship, I would have a word with DH about supporting his DC equally. And really home in on the fact that it's not about the type of sport, but being there as a parent.

I'm just trying to imagine my life if I only took my kids to activities I was interested in. Nativity play? No thanks not really my thing. Soft play? I don't enjoy the ball pit. Playground? I'm too big for the slide.

I am not alone so in thinking he’s letting DD down 😣 When I was her age I only had my mother no dad or GD and she had no interest in bringing me to sports or watching school hockey matches. It’s a lot of dad and granddads at the football and mostly moms but a lot of dads at the gymnastics. DD friend’s dad is at all her events and they have the most fantastic relationship. DD says women’s sports will never be interesting to watch and never be as popular as men’s, we have discussions about it esp after Olympics and how amazing the women were and the Nike women in sport ads are brilliant. Her and her DB get on really well but she’s this hanging on her that her interest isn’t as good as his. I’m def going to have another conversation with DH and insist he steps up and shows up at least 50% of the events. Thats horrendous to think she could end up with such resentment that she’d stop talking to him when she moves on with her life. She’ll prob perform even better too if she had him there in her corner! Thanks everyone for the comments

His reason is that he’s no interest in gymnastics so why would he go.

That's not how parenting works! He's an absolute dickhead.

@Kitjo I’m so sorry to hear that This is what I’m afraid of, you’ve just written the fear I have that that’s their future. I hope DH still has time to repair things.

@DancefloorAcrobatics they have a middling relationship at the moment, She would tell him about schoolwork and they both like listening to music in the car and she’ll walk the dog with him.

We have 2 dds but DH was never interested in ballet, when one of them did that, could never seem to remember where or when it was. When dd swapped to badminton different story. He was much more enthusiastic about picking up and dropping off.

I can imagine DH would like watching the football matches more because he loves football- even at a low level. The trouble with gymnastics is that you're sitting around for hours watching other ppls kids perform .

Two separate points:

1. Football is a much simpler game to watch. Two teams playing simultaneously. One objective - score more goals. Relatively few rules to understand.

Gymnastics is a much harder watch. Many disciplines. Scoring based on subjective judgement of style and ability. Competitors doing their thing one after another.

There is a reason that football is a massive TV sport and gymnastics isn't. Football is better competitive entertainment. It has a simpler, easier to understand narrative.

2. Being a parent means sucking up the tedious gymnastics training / ballet shows / chess tournaments / martial arts / orienteering / swimming practice.

TL:DR - Of course football is better but your husband is being a dick.

OMG this is so sad. How on earth could op have let this go on for so long already?

My dad, bless him, would sit with me and listen to ALL MANNER OF CRAP in terms of music. Miles away from his own tastes.

Because that's what it takes to show an interest in your child.

Yes, it's lovely when you can share your interests, but now with my son, I see my mum sneering at me singing silly baby nursery rhymes to him BECAUSE HE'S A TODDLER, and I double down on doing things my son loves. I enjoy all sorts of rubbish because I see the joy it brings my baby.

He needs to understand it's nothing to do with his enjoyment of it - but if he leans into it, he SHOULD be able to find interest in, say, when she masters something she's been trying hard at.

I'm sure you adore washing his scuzzy underpants and sweaty socks @Palsof as you spend hours doing laundry every week. Do you enjoy spending time doing those little things that make his life easier & nicer that have absolutely no benefit to you?
Maybe you should follow his directive & only spend time doing things that interest you?