To ask if I should move 200 miles away

[Drearycommuter]

i am a single working parent to two nursery/ school age DDs living 50m from London. We moved from London about 3 years ago, relatively big deal for the kids to leave friends and family but they’re still young and we’re only 50 miles away. I work in London. Both kids very happy where we are, as am I. Their dad is nearby. We get funding for nursery.

however life is going to be unaffordable when my mortgage comes up for renewal next year as when we got it me and my ex were together and have since split. We will have to sell the family home no matter what and move out of our current area.

I’ve been going back and forth on a move to Manchester and after seeing another thread where mumsnetters said how much they are worth (a lot!) and it’s got my brain whirring that maybe I need to be more money focussed.

I will have about £150k from the family house once sold (with their dad also taking 150k).

its a balancing act but what is the best financial decision do you think?

YABU: take a bit of a punt and move to Manchester. Get a much cheaper smaller house with low repayments so I can save money / invest some of my salary. Pay off mortgage more easily / quickly. Uproot kids who won’t want to go and won’t have any friends there (but are sociable). I will be able to do my current role from there. Live further from close family but have the chance to get closer to some cousins who live in Mancs but who we rarely see. Accept living somewhere quite rainy.

YANBU: get the biggest mortgage I can to stay in the SE so I end up owning a bigger more expensive house in the end. Would mean less upheaval for the kids and we know we like it here and are developing a lovely network of friends. The houses round here are poor quality and often have damp and mould which worries me if I don’t have much spare money for maintenance. Enjoy being near the sea with better weather.

i will agree the next course of action with the kids dad and he will either move up north too or stay round here.

It’d be shitty as a single parent to move your kids 200 miles away from their dad and family, you’d have to factor in travelling very regularly to take them to/collect from their dads which would eat money. What happens if he goes for 50/50 childcare as a result?

we are making the decision as a family - if we move up north he comes too. If we stay he stays too. He won’t be more than 10 mins away in either scenario.

moving brings us closer to same age cousins but further away from much loved grandparents (who are currently fit and up for visiting)

Not sure if you’re in the SE already but have you looked at East Kent if the main reason for moving is a smaller mortgage. Areas are only about an hour from central London.

If he is willing to make the move too, then absolutely move somewhere cheaper. It is the best financial decision we ever made. Bigger, cheaper house and easier access to better schools. Also just a more laid back lifestyle.

Hate to say it but you do realise that houses in the nicest areas with better schools, especially state grammars, are really really expensive ? South Manchester which is always mentioned on MN is mega bucks, even parts of Prestwich in the north are pricey. £150k will get you a terrace in Harpurhey 😂.
There are cheaper places and they’re probably okayish but up here it comes with a payback. Public transport isn’t great, job opportunities likewise, bits of the north have seen more neglect than the south so have a more depressing feel.
You do need to do some proper research and keep in mind that anything cheap is usually for a reason.

I think if you’re able to, I would stay, if the kids can stay at the same school even if you have to downsize. They’ve already moved once, and leaving family is very awkward. You also possibly have the most understanding/helpful ex I have ever heard of!

Yes I agree- it’s not cheap! But for the same money here I’d be able to get a damp flat with a yard, and there a house with a garden in a decent. Not huge gains but feels significant enough.

Have you ever been to Manchester?, £150k isn't going to buy you much im afraid, especially not in the nice to live areas.

Id get a mortgage on top

I would absolutely do it. What would be your budget for a house? Perhaps try and work out finances and how much better off you’d be. IMO, Having quality of life and a mum who is not stressing about bills is worth far more than the staying in the same schools. Kids adapt and they’ll make new friends.

Where are you buying a nice house with a garden in a nice area in Manchester for £150000??
Have you actually been to Manchester to look at property?

I’d borrow more!

Have you looked into what your income would be - Manchester is not particularly affordable in relation to wages. Travel is more expensive too.

I’ll be able to continue in my current role and they’ll cut my salary a bit

Ive been to look around and am going again this week. I’d be able to borrow up to 400k inc my deposit. My salary would drop but repayments would be affordable but I’d prefer to go to 300 to give me some breathing space. Down south I’d def need to go higher. Up north I feel I’d have more flexibility.

Great plan especially as kids dad will move too.

I recommend the Yorkshire side of the Pennines though not Manchester. Less rainy, brighter feeling.

Ah OK, £300 -£400k budget is much realistic! I see your going back for another trip round so let us know the areas you've found - as a rule people will say South Manchester is nicer than North - but there are some nice north towns , just need to pick the right ones !