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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To do the bare minimum at work from now?

16 replies

lurchersforever · 21/02/2025 19:15

I work in a professional role in a management position. I don't want to say what it is at this point but it may well become obvious. I work with service users as well as my management role. I've been in my organisation for over 20 years.

I've been a single parent for over a decade and receive no maintenance from ex as he's a low earner though he has the dc 4 nights per fortnight so all the financial responsibility is on me. My job is very stressful and there are times when I feel I can't cope, though I enjoy it overall and have put so much into it, sometimes to the detriment of my dc no doubt.

I think I'm burning out. Work has been horrendous over the last year and I have not been well-supported in dealing with a staffing issue that had nearly brought me to my knees. Leadership is weak overall and it's clear that many things I would like to achieve in my management role will not come to fruition due to factors outside my control.

So would I be unreasonable to stop caring so much and stop doing so much? Not to the point where it would impact service users but just so I wasn't working most evenings on the extras, the stuff I would like to push through. Not only am I exhausted but it just seems pointless now. I'm not appreciated and stuff can't work when others out of my control aren't doing their bit.

I'm looking for other jobs but there's not much out there and I can't take a pay cut when dc are about to go to uni, and I don't see why I should really. I'm good at what I do but it's harder and harder to be good where I am.

Any thoughts would be much appreciated.

OP posts:
NewtonsCradle · 21/02/2025 19:18

Don't lose hope, a better job will come along.

HeyItsPickleRick · 21/02/2025 19:22

No of course not unreasonable, if you cannot do the role without killing yourself either the structure around you is wrong or you could prioritise more efficiently. Usually it will be both in varying ratios!! Is there anyone you can lean on as an informal coach and time you can carve out each week to think clearly and decide what you do or do not do? If you continue as you are the organisation will never take the extra off your plate!

Nowvoyager99 · 21/02/2025 19:24

Quiet quitting.

Leaning out.

Many of us are seeing the futility of continuing to play the game.

Fuck the lot of them.

Shinyandnew1 · 21/02/2025 19:35

What will happen if you don't do the extra work to push things through? Who is expecting that work to happen?

Is their issue with staffing now resolved or is that ongoing?

If you are close to burnout and aren't near retirement, I would recommend finding a new job-why's there not much out there at the moment? If you're near retirement, then quietly quit!

lurchersforever · 21/02/2025 19:41

Thank you for the replies.

I am not near retirement unfortunately late 40s. There are no jobs because at my level not much comes up and what does tends to go to much younger people who I doubt I could compete with, especially after the last year, which has destroyed my confidence.

I am thinking if I can get the dc through uni (6 years) then I can take a lower paid role. I just need to get to that point.

OP posts:
BIWI · 21/02/2025 19:43

It's called quiet quitting. But be very, very careful as it will be noticed, and you may find that you're suddenly put on a PIP - which is often the precursor to being 'let go'.

Shinyandnew1 · 21/02/2025 19:44

I may be wrong here, but are you a teacher-what you say is ticking lots of boxes?

lurchersforever · 21/02/2025 19:46

I'm not sure it would be noticed as long as I did all the things I was specifically directed to, which I would. I'm talking about the extras which are my ideas and passions. No one else does anything like it, or if they do there's no strategy so nothing works.

OP posts:
yogpot · 21/02/2025 19:53

Everyone should always do this, going out of your way (as an employee) is bonkers. Do the bare minimum you need to do to keep the job,
and keep your colleagues and management reasonably happy.

Although mumsnet is loaded with bootlickers who take an enormous pride in killing themselves with overwork, asking for more work, getting angry with people they think aren’t working hard enough even when it has zero impact on them (check any WFH thread, the capitalist try hards are feral).

You don’t need to buy into it though ☺️ coast along. If your bosses don’t notice then you’ve got the balance right.

Shinyandnew1 · 21/02/2025 19:55

lurchersforever · 21/02/2025 19:46

I'm not sure it would be noticed as long as I did all the things I was specifically directed to, which I would. I'm talking about the extras which are my ideas and passions. No one else does anything like it, or if they do there's no strategy so nothing works.

If the passions and ideas aren't part of your job, then no, I can't imagine anyone will notice that. If you're not doing the expected things, then someone probably will and if they wanted to, they will use it against you.

toomuchfaff · 21/02/2025 20:05

What about getting another job?

I can't bear the thought of working somewhere crap and resigning myself to just not trying. It's soul destroying to be somewhere you don't at least tolerate?

Agentscullyandmulder · 21/02/2025 20:09

I got sent this today op, when I saw your post I thought of it

To do the bare minimum at work from now?
Recitalbouquet · 21/02/2025 20:25

Why are you asking for permission? It’s your life.

mermaid101 · 21/02/2025 20:33

Are you a teacher? In a middle leadership role?

NewHeaven · 21/02/2025 22:01

https://www.charityjob.co.uk/

Have a look on here, there'll be loads of roles in the charity sector that you could do as you have blvery transferable skills. If you do currently work in the education sector then look at programme management roles in the university sector as well.
university sector management roles

https://www.uksport.gov.uk/jobs-in-sport/search-all-vacancies

Hazel665 · 21/02/2025 22:05

Quiet quit. Don't let them notice. Say all the right things but do what makes sense to you.

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