You’re with an emotional abuser op. He’s done such a number on you that you can’t even recognise it. If anything you absorb the blame when he does something wrong.
He is gaslighting you and man is it working. Before you know it, he’ll have you docile and a quivering wreck, doing anything he wants with a click of his fingers. If he does anything wrong, the only one at fault will obviously be you.
The first thing you need to do is to read up on gaslighting, manipulation in relationships and the dangers of not taking accountability in a relationship.
I say this because, if you want this marriage to last something has to change and change asap. Otherwise, if things continue I dread to think what you will be in years to come. I also dread to think about your mental state in a few years to come. You may end up a shell of yourself, if you don’t feel like that already.
You need to see him as someone that isn’t quite safe. Be careful around him and engage with him as such.
If a disagreement arises, becareful about getting into a back and forth with him. You know he’ll use mental weapons against you (gaslighting, manipulation etc). Say how you feel but don’t do the back and forth, you’ll get no where.
But make sure you hold firm and write down your thoughts. Write down why it makes you upset and why it’s a problem. Your feelings matter, REGARDLESS of whether he thinks it’s a problem.
Then, get specialist intervention. Start speaking to a therapist if you haven’t already. I would also encourage you to tell your GP, they may be able to refer you to an organisation that could help you.
Start keeping a record and always remember your feelings and thoughts and wants matter and are justified.