Promised explanation, none is coming but ghosting.

[pinkparadise]

Hi there, I'm new here but my problem is that I've been seeing this guy since before Christmas, texting all the time, lots of personal chat and intimate on a few occasions. Everything was going really well, very happy and warm and fuzzy. Then he stated about two weeks ago to tail off the messages while he was at work, even though he was texting all the time from work previously. Then I got the "I need to sort some stuff out, just give me some time to sort it and I'll text in a few days to explain". Ok I thought, we all need to gather ourselves at times or maybe something else had happened as he said we were ok. I waited without texting him and it's been a week now. I don't know what to do. He is a manager of a food store near me (it's where we first met). I've not been in this last week to give him his space but I've been really upset and wondering what on earth could have happened. It seems like I'm being ghosted but what if he really is having a bad time to get through? I do think he could have dropped a text by now though.

Also, he says he still lives with his former partner but they are doing so for financial reasons. I won't get a straight answer from him so how do I now take control back, (I was starting to get neurotic about it all), He said noone at work know about our relationship but some staff there do now know me.

How do I find out if he is married or still in a relationship with this woman?

Do I still wait and see if he's going to message or assume it's over?

How can I make his co-workers aware that he's been a shit,? Is that the right thing to do.

I think ghosting happens to about 23% of the nation and it's an incredibly heartless thing to, cruel and leaves the person in a complete panic moving into living in limbo.

Why can't people just be honest and end things if that's what is going on in their mind? Spineless and not a man (in my case).

Thank you so much and I look forward to your replies. Take care. X

It’s over. Behave accordingly and no, don’t tell his work colleagues, why would you even think of doing this?

Sounds like too much too soon. Texting all the time from work? Way too intense. Move on

You take control back by blocking and deleting. He sounds like he's still in a relationship and is backing away because of this. A lot of us have been ghosted, it's cowardly and hasty but tells you everything you need to know about him.

Don't tell his colleagues, he'll say your mad. Just ignore and move on. 💐

I feel for you. This must be really difficult to deal with. To go from full on contact to nothing is hard, and the lack of explanation even harder.

His lack of response is a response. He’s letting you know it’s over. If you really think something bad might have happened then message him just once to ask if he is ok. That’s it. No more. And, of course you shouldn’t get in touch with anyone at his work. That’s a bit nuts. Although you had an intense period of messaging, this wasn’t an actual relationship. Relationships involve far more than messaging.

It’s really hard, but you have to accept it’s finished.

He's dumped you without telling you. His girlfriend probably found out he was seeing you. Delete his number, block him on every platform and do your shopping elsewhere going forward.

'Also, he says he still lives with his former partner '

They never don't up.

You were most likely a side piece or whatever God awful term they call it nowadays.

All that texting is a red flag.

What do you talk about when you meet up if you've been texting all the time? That doesn't sound like a normal or healthy relationship unless it's long distance.

They never split up ^^

How can I make his co-workers aware that he's been a shit,? Is that the right thing to do.

Unhinged.

Sorry OP

It does sound as if he’s really still in a relationship and you were a potential bit on the side.

Who knows why he stopped texting? Did his partner get suspicious, or did he move on to another woman to get his kicks with?

What matters is you may be annoyed but your not really hurt, so I would chalk this up to experience and carry on looking for someone who’s not a time waster and who is genuinely wanting a relationship.

Think positively- there must be some good ones out there.

It’s the classic brush off isn’t it? He’s had sec and lost interest but playing it as needing space.

It’s pretty obvious he’s probably not broken up from his ex either. Why would you even entertain this in the first place?

Just move on and pick somebody better.

Why would you tell his co workers? That's odd.

He probably wasn't single and his partner found out. Block and move on. Bloody hurts though,

Block & move on. Not sure why after a couple of months you’re even thinking about involving coworkers etc, find someone else.

The likelihood is that he is still in a relationship with his girlfriend, and had never split up. The shitty excuse and the lack of contact is either - 1) had sex with you and the thrill of the chase has gone or 2) his girlfriend found out about you/was suspicious of his behaviour. Regardless of the reason, his lack of response is a response really, it's 'I'm no longer interested'. If you know his full name you can search on social media and see if anything comes up. As for telling his colleagues, that's a massive NO. I know it's shit, and his behaviour is upsetting, but chalk it up to experience. Delete and block him. Next time, if a man tells you he's split from his wife/girlfriend but they are still living together, don't get involved. Yes, it may be true, but 9 times out of 10, it's rubbish.

He’s gone.

Don’t waste your time and energy into texting him or going into his job.

Focus on yourself and find someone else.
If he ever eventually texts you (when he’s bored) you can tell him that you’re not interested.

You may not realise it just now, but you have dodged a massive bullet.

Another shit. Cut your losses, at least it's sooner than later.

I know, easier said than done, but it'll be for the best.

coincidence it's half term? maybe that's why he's now ghosting you because family shit is getting in his way of an affair...

Maybe not, but still agree with what everyone else is saying.

He’s only gave you that excuse so that it leaves the door open for when he decides he wants to mess you around again.

What’s it got to do with his workmates? You already knew he was living with the ‘ex.’

It does sound like he has ghosted you so I would leave it now and don’t respond if he contacts you again.

He hasn’t treated you well but it was a dodgy situation from the start.

I bet his partner doesn't know they were separated last year.
What a sleaze.

He was cheating

I'd lay money on the fact you're the OW and she's found out from his phone and put a stop to it!

Also, he says he still lives with his former partner but they are doing so for financial reasons. I won't get a straight answer from him so how do I now take control back, (I was starting to get neurotic about it all), He said noone at work know about our relationship but some staff there do now know me.

so you know he still lives with his partner?
you know he lies to you and gives you the runaround ?
and you know he keeps you quiet from his colleagues?

YABVU to even think this was a real relationship with any future. You are just a side piece to him. Block, delete move on.

Bullshit! He's been found out by his partner.

Get yourself tested for STIs and then block and move on.