Husband wants 4th new car

[KellyJellyfish]

My husband is on car number 3 in 5 years, some have definitely been toys, others more sensible, but none of them super practical for our life now (gone from being just us to a baby and a dog in a few short years, and he doesn’t collect these cars btw, he has them for a bit and then sells and gets something else).

Anyway, he has a bit of money saved up and some inheritance left, and he wants to buy another new car. Great, because mine is literally falling to pieces and we could do with something big and practical. Except no, I’ll be buying that with my own money and he’ll be spending all of his savings on the most expensive and impractical toy yet, a 2-seater convertible sports car (so it will be purely for him, dog and baby obviously can’t go in).

Now I know, it’s his money and he’s an adult, but we have a LO who just started nursery and there’s major restructuring going on at my office so I don’t feel that secure on my job right now, oh and the house needs about £20k of work done on it too.

I really feel like the money would be better spent on stuff that will improve all our lives as a family, not just a toy that will make only him happy.

I’ve tried having the conversation with him many times and it just leads to arguments, he even suggested we don’t have to worry about replacing my car and can just have his existing one and this new toy - I queried what we’d do if that car was ever in for repairs as we’d be stuck with our second car being unsuitable for a baby car seat, he said we just wouldn’t go out then, or it would happen so infrequently it wouldn’t matter, but I beg to differ.

AIBU?

Forgot to add, our driveway is only big enough for 2, so not even sure where this 3rd car would go, I imagine I’d end up parking mine on the road.

What a dickhead.
This is the phase in life when you buy toys for the baby, not the grown ups.

I would be wondering why he wants to be driving around in a 2 seater sports car. Sounds like he wants to attract attention from people who will think he is single and rich.
His attitude certainly doesn't sound like he prioritises his wife and child.
He sounds very selfish.

Selfish, first thought was that he feels inadequate about a certain part of his body.

Sounds like he’s bored and looking for some fun. Can you divert his interest elsewhere…a holiday, a hobby, bloody flying lessons, anything!

What a dickhead

First post nails it.

He sounds incredibly selfish op, YANBU.

TBF I don’t think it’s this, he’s never been the type to flirt with a car, he had an old banger when wet met lol. He’s just a petrol head, all the men in his family are

Yep, this sums it up.

I think this is most likely it, we’re in the baby trenches right now so I understand the feeling.

His car purchases also follow this sort of pattern, he’ll buy something silly, realise having rock hard suspension and no boot space isn’t brilliant, sell it and buy something sport but sensible (like an Audi A5) and enjoy all the comforts and practicability, but then get bored and a little envious, rinse and repeat.

Divorce him and take his new car

I can't imagine someone this self absorbed has time to consider anyone else. I doubt he lifts a finger around the house or with the baby.

Reminds me of an ex years ago. When mobiles were still quite new, I didn't have one. He got a free mobile and decided that he needed two.

Well even if this isn't his intention that's the impression he is going to give.
People will definitely be making assumptions because it's an attention grabbing car

Your husband is a selfish fuckwit

Man child, he needs to grow up and have some responsibility. Ask him to calculate how much he's lost buying and selling the previous three, they are money down the drain. Buy a car three years old and live with it until it starts to die.

Mid life crisis?

Why are you buying a family car with your own money? We have 2 cars - we use them interchangeably (outside of work as one is insured for business use) and all the costs are covered by joint finances.

You need a family car then the family buys it

You'll only get an echo chamber as MN as most posters seem to see cars as a nessecary evil and not something to enjoy or be passionate about.
I totally understand your OH bring torn between comfort and practicality and then missing the sportiness. We've sometimes tried to combine the two, getting a modded version of a larger car. But we have always bought and maintained our own cars - I refuse to be the little woman who is expected to have a little car " to nip to the shops in".
The only part of him being unreasonable is him expecting you to have a knackered car. But if you take his old car and ditch the banger, what is the issue?

You are married to a selfish baby. I would advise you let him get his car, put his suitcase in it and drive off into the sunset.

Under no circumstances was I in a relationship with a man who prioritized cars over family life.

This is middle class madness 😱

If he can’t afford to pay for the sports car twice he can’t afford it . It’s essentially a toy. An expensive toy that is unaffordable and absolutely ridiculous at this stage in your life with a little baby. Start saving for your baby’s university fees before wasting tens of thousands of pounds.
Does he feel the need to show off a lot??
Petrol head is just a daft way of saying I really really like cars. I like cars too. I’d love an Audi A5 BUT I don’t have the available funds to buy this type of car and still be able to save for my children and my retirement. He should be asking where he could invest his money to watch it grow.

I love my cars as does DH. The car I really want is sadly a 2 seater which means it's simply not going to happen whilst the DC are still around. The cars we do have are family sized but have the optional extras instead and are used interchangeably too.

Hello I have a solution for you!

Get a second hand Porsche Panamera or Taycan. Absolutely gorgeous car to drive and travel in (easily fine for adults on the back or a baby seat). Pop down a blanket and dog will be happy too.

The boot space is decent too, you can fit in a buggy and a scooter and enough luggage for a week’s holiday (if you pack fairly light!).

Either car would turn heads and I’d be very surprised if your dh is bored of it in two or three years.

I guess it doesn’t solve the problem of your job security/house repairs… but you’d have a happy dh!

This happened to someone I know, the man just didn't think of the practicalities at all. Need to go to the airport with suitcases? - can't go in his car. Need to take stuff to the tip? - can't go in his car. Want to go on holiday with kids? - can't go in his car. He assumed his wife's car was also his to use as and when he wanted.