Is this what “finding your anger” means?

[SarahLdn740]

I don’t know what happened to me, but I have hit mid-40s and I am SO angry with how male-dominated this world is.

I am mad about the following, in no particular order:

• Despite being the bread winner in the family, having estate agents talk to me only about the kitchens when we do house viewings and addressing solely OH when it comes to money or works
• Boss dismissing me in meetings
• Being constantly interrupted
• Men addressing other men in the professional context or asking their opinion instead of mine, despite me being more senior
• Manspreading on public transport (there was a good thread about it earlier in the week)
• OH lecturing me about things that I obviously know
• Come to think of it, any mansplaining
• Arrogant men cocking everything up and yet feeling super awesome about themselves

There is so much more, please feel free to add.

I worry I am on a path to becoming one of those cackling, bitter grannies muttering to themselves and living alone (I don’t know anyone like this, so perhaps I took the mental image from a film or book).

FML.

I've found the older I get the more I can see the bad behaviour from men and have less and less tolerance for it.

If anything happens to DH I will never live with a man again. They are generally selfish (even the good ones). If they do do their fair share of chores and life admin you as a woman are expected to give praise and rave about how lucky you are - it shouldn't even register - it should be taken for granted that as adults they will do what they should.

I'm tired of pandering to their delicate little egos and doing stuff myself because it's just easier than making them step up. I am becoming a bitter and twisted man hater. 😝

The amount of times I've gone to flat viewings and Estate Agents haven't talked to me at all until I have paid the deposit is ridiculous. One of them spent the whole time talking to my ex about football and the only time he realised he was there was when I was handing over my card to pay the money.

May I whisper this three magic letters to you, @SarahLdn740 ?

H
R
T

I was a fiery ball of rage for 6 years before I learned it was part of peri menopause.

Within a week of HRT I could still see all the jackassery and unearned privilege but I no longer drove my blood pressure up being furious about it.

I prefer the rage to hormone therapy. I feel like a whole human being, and one who knows her stuff at that.

Someone asked how you deal with the work nonsense. My approach: find allies, and stick with them. Be proactive with your boss so that no one gets in first and undermines you. Be consistent with your messages, and tell everyone about your achievements in very plain terms (without boasting). When you are interrupted, keep talking. "As I was saying..." "In my experience..." Should be added to your vocabulary. Finally, remember it's just work and you are worth more.