To confront them or not?

[Okbug77]

My oldest son has ASC and ADHD, he has a hard time with friendships and social interactions but does have a decent group of friends that have similar interests to him, he’s an incredibly bright boy and a well behaved kid for the most part aside from the fact that he can get into conflict regularly due to his conditions and needs support and help understanding emotions and how to regulate himself which has long improved since taking medication. As they are getting older, parents are no longer involved in setting up play dates so we don’t tend to interact much now but there’s never been any serious incident or conflict in the past that hasn’t been able to be resolved. My son and his friends will play video games often and recently he overhead one of his friends mums in the background saying that my son would never go anywhere in life. My son got upset and came off the call. One of his other friends also heard the conversation and said that she went on to say to her son after my son left the call that he should say some nasty things to my son. I don’t think the woman realised that they were in a call together, I need to point out that this woman is also a teacher in our area which makes it worse in my eyes. These are the people in which you entrust your children with and if that is their mindset maybe they shouldn’t be teaching children! Do you think it would be unreasonable to contact this woman and make her aware I know what she said or would you not confront her?

I would let her know but in a very calm and controlled manner. Maintain the moral high ground.

Oh my goodness, I’m so sorry OP. That must of been horrible for her to say to your son especially as you overheard. I would have to call her and tell her how much that’s affected DS

I'm so sorry for your poor son. That's just horrific that she said those things.

Yes, I think I'd contact and basically say that you heard/know what was said and you're really disappointed and your DS is upset.

I would yes. I’d text her , don’t call and I’d say I heard it personally as it was on Loud speaker as she will deny otherwise. And I’d say I’m deeply disappointed any adult would be so abusive.

I think she’d only deny it. And probably get quite aggressive with you.

In your shoes, I think I’d message her something along the lines of ‘Hi, I’ve just been told by DC that you were overheard saying A, B and C. Now I’m sure the children are mistaken and that can’t be the case, because what sort of a teacher would say something like that about a child, but I just wanted to clarify what was actually said so that I can reassure DS’. She either denies it, in which case she knows you’re fully aware that she’s a vile person, or she admits it, in which case, you’ve got proof in case she ever comes within a million miles of teaching your DS.