Ex husband and i were in a very toxic relationship for many yrs. 2 yrs ago, i walked out.
3years prior to walking out, i had an argunent with the man and later went on a night out with the girls & had WAY too much to drink and ended up snogging someone. I was mortified the next day and the guilt was awful. I couldnt believe i was so stupid, i couldnt face my kids or then husband! A week later, i told my then husband. He asked if i slept with him, i said no. He said "i forgivr you". In my enotional state, i thought wow he loves me so much, what an amazing guy. A few weeks after that, i started to question his response as i didnt think it was normal. Surely any partner would see this as a complete break in trust and would be devastated?? I just kept feeling inside.
Anway when i walked out due to the awfuk toxicness! I always felt a sense of responsibility, maybe that kiss made things worse. Maybe it wasnt right decision to leave etc.
2 years later - now - i just found out that prior to my kiss, he had slept with someone one night, few weeks later he went to her house at 2in the morning, knocking on her window - i assume for round two (booty call). Then when i travelled for a business trip, he saw her in pub and was all over her, she was creeped out, she asked him to back off.
Well - the i forgive u comment makes sense, guilty subconcious. Because its been 2 years sincr i left him, i dont feel sad but rather angry! Of course i was no angel, but for me it was a one and done kiss, regret, confess & never again. His was a deliberate sex chase imo.
I also wondered when i left him, why he never shouted about kiss from rooftops! He was and still is mad i left him and doesnt speak to me. That also makes sense.
How did i find out? My mother. She knew 4 years ago and confronted him and his response was "well im a man, i have needs". She never told me becausr she said i was already having a mental breakdown with work, kids, relationship issues. She also told him she wont tell mr cause it would break me.
Anyway - i am debating whether to confront him about it! Tell him how disgusting it is???
For the record, we have kids, he doesnt speak to me at all becausr i left him. He doesnt even pay a penny for kids - never did, even when together! I feel that when i confessed about kiss, he should have mentioned sleeping with someone!
I now dont doubt my decision of leave him.
Should i confront him or let it go. He doesnt know i know.