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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To help daughter with a mortgage

56 replies

WTDAC · 20/02/2025 22:43

My adult (25) daughter lives with us (mum and dad) and saves £1000 a month by doing so.
She wants to move out to live with her boyfriend (super steady, been together for years, he is lovely, he earns well).
London rent would be approx £1500 a month between them.
If I gave them the money for a deposit (£50k, from an inheritance) they could buy instead and put the £1500 'rent' into a mortgage.
This to me seems a no brainer, but am I missing something?

OP posts:
HellofromJohnCraven · 21/02/2025 12:16

It's great that you have the money.
My strongest advice is to offer it after they have rented for a minimum of 12 months.
Living with someone is a whole different thing to being boyfriend/girlfriend and living at home.
In 12 months you will know whether it's the right thing to do. Yes obvs to ring fenced deposit then given the amounts involved.

weareladyparts · 21/02/2025 22:21

BansheeOfTheSouth · 20/02/2025 22:58

They aren't married, joint mortgage at 25 isn't a great plan. Haven't you read the many, many threads about unmarried women getting screwed by splitting up with a mortgage? Let them rent first so they can experience living together first, sounds like your daughter is being sensible.

I don't understand this - how can she get screwed over by him in this situation?

Cadenza12 · 21/02/2025 22:26

It's great idea only get legal advice as if they split the partner will get half. I think that basically you can put a charge on the property. That way your money is protected if things don't work out.

MotherOfRatios · 21/02/2025 22:26

London rent is extortionate, I've just bought by myself in London mid 20s and I'm so grateful that I'm putting money into a mortgage and not to Landlord. If you want her to buy it by herself, make sure he doesn't contribute to the mortgage otherwise if they split up, he could take her to court to get money back. Also get a deed of trust

Archimedipeligo · 21/02/2025 23:04

As someone who benefitted from this myself I can't tell you how life changing this has been, and how grateful I am. As others have said, get it sorted legally in case of split.

Property prices are 10x av salary nowadays- more in London - you need HUGE deposits to get on the ladder so this is why parental help can make such a difference.

The reasons against / alternatives:
Suggest they do a 1 year rental first to a) live together b) test the area of London / type of housing they think they want. They're young, they might think they want a garden but then have no time for it, or that living on a main road doesn't matter but it does, etc etc.

It's also worth thinking through that they don't have any plans for travel, moving, etc etc. People say plan for 5 years, in reality it's fine to sell after, say, 3, but any less and chances are you'll probably have been better off renting after costs.

LivingLaVidaBabyShower · 21/02/2025 23:08

Are you gifting?
Will they be joint tenants or tenants in common?
might you need the money again?
if it’s a flat leasehold service charges can be crippling - if they can pay them what happens?
if they break up can your Dd afford to buy him out?

in the right circs- it’s hugely beneficial and life changing but it can go wrong and there are benefits to renting ( it gives a good degree of flexibility)

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