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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

When your friends just don't understand domestic abuse

7 replies

ShellyElle · 20/02/2025 19:42

It makes me feel sick. Like physically nauseous. When my friends see my child with his dad and talk about how good he is with him. How my son goes to him when he is upset. How he's comfortable with him. And tell me not to worry. The part where my son comes home and tells me his dad shouts at him, when his dad let's him down, tells people he wishes I would die etc etc. Not to mention my son was born from rape, where I said no and I just lay there and silently cried whilst he had sex with me. But no, it's not possible that he's just putting on a front when he's at birthday parties, or school events. He's wonderful. I just hate it. So much.

OP posts:
ShellyElle · 20/02/2025 19:59

I can't be alone

OP posts:
Silvertulips · 20/02/2025 20:04

You need to tel your friends you don’t want to hear about it! My friend was similar and asked friends not to tel her they saw him, who he was with and what he was doing - it just prolonged the agony.

Why does he have parental rights? How old is the child and have you asked for councilling for him! There are lots of listening services through schools.

Have you sort advice from a solicitor? The courts?

ShellyElle · 20/02/2025 20:05

Silvertulips · 20/02/2025 20:04

You need to tel your friends you don’t want to hear about it! My friend was similar and asked friends not to tel her they saw him, who he was with and what he was doing - it just prolonged the agony.

Why does he have parental rights? How old is the child and have you asked for councilling for him! There are lots of listening services through schools.

Have you sort advice from a solicitor? The courts?

We went through court for years. Son is 7. I'm just so tired of it all.

OP posts:
ragandbonewoman · 20/02/2025 20:06

I'm sorry nobody has responded @ShellyElle. I think you might get better advice on the relationships board, you can report your own post and ask for it to be moved. So sorry for everything you've been through.

cestlavielife · 20/02/2025 20:08

Have you had some counselling? You can talk these scenarios through with your therapist

AlertCat · 20/02/2025 20:10

They are always great guys, these men. Do anything for anybody. Generous to a fault.

I’m so sorry you have gone through this, @ShellyElle . Is it possible for you to get some therapeutic support from women’s aid perhaps?

ShellyElle · 20/02/2025 20:10

cestlavielife · 20/02/2025 20:08

Have you had some counselling? You can talk these scenarios through with your therapist

I have, but he's in my life for good as my son's dad. Nothing can make that go away. I feel like I'm going to be struggling uphill forever. I'm scared my son will align with him as he gets older. I'm just full of so much fear.

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