Lem, if you are working more than 16 hours per week you would be entitled to the childcare element. Mine has covered pretty much all the nursery fees, and we earn more than you, so I cant see why you shouldnt get it too. The thing is, your dd needs to be going to nursery before you can claim. You need to give them the name and the address of the nursery, the ofsted registration number etc. This means you have the initial outlay yourself. But I found they were very quick to change payment as the nursery fees were increasing, when I changed my sons hours, when we got our second child who started nursery, etc.
I did not actually work as much as 16 hours when I applied But I got sucked in pretty quickly and increased my hours to 20 (and actually worked 20 hours per week).
I get paid less than minimum wage, as that is all the company can afford to pay me, so I dont pay tax on it, and the governemnt is subsidising my NI contributions.
I dont know where you are, but carpenters can charge an arm and a leg in london. Your dh should be able to quote his work at good levels so you can survive. Why dont you research what other carpenters in your area is charging? You may find you undercharge? Does your dh have enough work? If not, could he take a course to learn something else to do, such as fencing, or shedbuilding, laying decks, plastering? Can he do painting and decorating too, to spread out a little? Can he take on a carpenting trainee (from local college) and work as a team? Sorry if I am speaking with my foot in my mouth, as I know next to nothing about the building trade...