Talk to me about teenage boys!

[Iceache]

Mine is 12 and he has had some sort of lobotomy since starting high school; he talks endlessly about gaming and is just so daft that I’m finding him pretty irritating. He has definitely become markedly sillier in the last few months. Please tell me this is normal and just a phase!! His 9 year old brother is currently more sensible; I left him holding my hot coffee whilst I went to the bathroom today as I trust him more than his older brother!

Please tell me this is normal and just a phase!!

I can't help @Iceache , but I know this forum can:

www.mumsnet.com/talk/teenagers

Does everything just get dumped in AIBU now??

Shall I rephrase: AIBU to find my teenage son very irritating atm??

Happy?

I dunno. I kind of like daft and silly. It's when they're miserable and monosyllabic I don't like it.
My 18 yo gets the zoomies most evenings and it just makes me laugh!!

Yes it is.

The best description I have had for teenage years is think of it like they are a colleague on mat leave - their "replacement" is never quite what you're used to and feels a bit weird but then your original colleague comes back later and normality is restored!

They are literally rewiring their brains at this age and so it understandably all goes a bit odd and strange! The Solihull Behaviour Management programme is really good for explaining the changes and how you can support - look it up online 🙂

Yes! It’s normal. My 14 yr old is deep in the depths of this just now. Grunting rather than speaking, a permanently confused look on his face, not sure where to put his ever elongating limbs, forgetful, spending increasing time with similarly dazed-looking friends, unable to follow / understand the most simple instructions even when reduced to single syllables.

i think it’s adorable and irritating in equal measures. He has an older brother (17) who is a perfectly reasonable normal human being again, so I know that it will pass.

Yes, it’s normal !
They get very grunty too.

It’s awful to be honest. I have DS 14 and DS 16. So in the thick of the monosyllabic grunting phase. Occasionally we will have a nice chat in the car. Holidays are now tricky as eating dinner together is a challenge. They just don’t want to hang out or say much.

I miss the little versions of them. Hoping for an improvement soon…

Why does it matter? If you're not interested, just don't click on it. It's really not that difficult.

I’m on boys 3 and 4 in their teen years, and it’s interesting for sure, son 2 is 19 and hopefully coming out of all that and seems to have matured a bit (I think)
son 1 is 24 def more sensible. All lovely cuddly wonderful lads though once you get past some of the nonsense they come out with

Teenagers lose a chunk of grey matter from their brain every year during puberty, so it goes to explain a lot of their behaviour and reckless decisions. That risk taking part of the brain isn't developed properly yet.

My boy is super intelligent but asked me yesterday if I knew putting less water in the kettle makes it boil faster 🤯. He's grabbed a hot baking tray out the oven with his bare hands. Lost his full wallet last week. Keeps going back to a girlfriend who isn't good for him. It's endless calamity and silly decisions.

🤔 normal

Perfectly normal, grunting monosyllabic phase lasts until about 16 at which point they gradually return to normal service. My 18yr old is pretty much restored. 21r old has been a pretty decent human since around 17yrs. 15yr old DD currently showing glimpses of returning to her preteen sunny self.
Not much you can do but ride it out, keep repeating to yourself 'it's just a phase'. All of my lots friends have come through it to be all round decent young people. There is hope..

If you want/need to have a decent chat with them the car is best place IME, they don't have to look you in the eye & often open up a lot more than elsewhere. Being a teen taxi service comes in useful for this!

My 13 year old DS recently asked me if the swimming pool on the Titanic still has water in it! Im patiently waiting for his common sense to return.

It's a phase. Hopefully. Quite a long one maybe!
My 25 yo is now a fully functioning adult, the 15 yo is lovely, but can be a complete twat at times.
If he doesn't get his own way he picks me up and carries me around the house.

16 year old boy. Flits between decent human being to have serious conversation, a bit of a twat and being a silly 10 year old 😂

You've never seen Harry Enfield and Kathy Burke in the Kevin and Perry sketches then?

You don’t get many answers anywhere else.

I have 2 teen boys and both are sports mad. One cricket mad and the other football mad. Both go to the gym, healthy eating and a high protein diet, cross training with swimming and running. Both, always hungry. But they eat whatever I put in front of them and get along well together so I'm not complaining.

Loving these replies; they’re genuinely reassuring! Love the mat leave colleague analogy 🤣

I guess they’ve got so much going on in their bodies, it makes sense that they mentally check out somewhat!! The titanic question had me howling; I can imagine my elder son asking this. He is genuinely the sweetest, daftest puppy and has just sat at dinner with us having an actual conversation, but then he’ll stick a lollipop in my ear and be surprised when I tell him off. It’s like living with a slightly-more-hygienic Labrador. My husband and I have genuinely looked at each other amazed at how for a fairly intelligent human, he does a brilliant impression of being the exact opposite a lot of the time!

This.

Adolescence lasts until about 25, at which age the prefrontal cortex is fully developed. Until that point the brain isn't equipped for good risk judgement or impulse control and as a result adolescent boys have nothing counteracting their new high levels of testosterone. It's the reason most crimes are committed by young men, teenagers do stupid, risky things and adolescent males are favoured recruits for the infantry.
It starts to improve at about 17-18, but the process of maturation takes a few years beyond that.
It's just a phase- he will come out the other side in time to take over coffee-holding duties when your DS2 goes into the tunnel.

Mine’s 15 and we are very lucky with him. He’s never done the mono-syllabic thing and he loves a good conversation about anything from religion, politics, history to his favourite subject F1 and yes the car is definitely the best place for a conversation! He does have strong opinions though and he is of course always right!

He’s a good lad and never causes us any trouble but yes he does get the zoomies every night. We do actually have a young Labrador too so they run around the house together making noise, playing tug and jumping around 🙈. He’s also loves to jump out on me, pretend to box with me and his favourite game is to steal my phone by stealth. Oh and he also called me “G” and “broksi” 🙈.

He cooks dinner for us ever night though so we’ll let him off 😂. He also has a Saturday job and saves his money really well, but loves to buy us thoughtful gifts for Christmas and birthdays, he’s kind, polite, can converse well with other adults and he’s doing a great job of revising for his mocks without too much nagging.

Teenage boys are great. 12 year olds not so much. By far the most irritating age for boys ime. Coincides with starting high school.

Absolutely normal and he will get worse before he gets better. Ours has actually regressed, I’m sure. The only thing saving my sanity is that he’s (marginally) better than our girls were. Ugh, they were horrific!
But they do grow out of it and turn it to quite wonderful people.
The way you’re feeling just highlights that you’re doing a good job!! 😂