Best for my Children

[LostinCH]

Three weeks on from finding out my husband had an affair and making him tell our 19 and 17 year old I am lost.
He is away for 2 weeks on business in the USA.
Do I contact him or give him space?
How do I talk to him about how we support our kids in the future?
He will move out when he comes home.
What contact should I have with him going forward?
All this hurts . Even though he cheated I know our marriage had problems. If possible I would like to keep a friendship for the kids sake.

So sorry you're going through this. I'm presuming y I vet had some proper legal advice and it's the emotional side you're questioning?
Is it a current or past affair? Will he be going to OW? I think that affects how you move forward.

Whilst he's away you need to put aside your shock and consult a solicitor, getting what you want in order before he returns

There is nothing for you to contact him for while he’s away. Even after that, your children are old enough to maintain their own relationship with him. What do you need to say about how you support your children in future?

Keep your dignity. You don’t need to find excuses to talk to him. It will only hurt you more at this stage.

I am doing this. Lawyer today and bank next week

Yes more about thr emotional side. He will leave and live locally. I believe the OP is in another country.
Thank you all. Good advice.
Emotions running high at the moment

They are old enough to decide themselves what contact really

It is hard but try to set the emotions aside and think in business mode. Pretend he is a stranger that you need to make practical arrangements with. How do you sell the house / support the kids at school etc.

Will he move out and you stay in the house with the kids?

Use the time for yourself, don't contact him. Your DC will work out what they want too.

I know it's hard but really it's your time to plan ahead.

Can you afford the house you live in on your own?

He is not your friend. You don't need to contact him about the DC, they are not small children and if you contact him it's just a spurious reason to be in touch. Be dignified, don't message him and use this time to get your shit together, literally and metaphorically.

Be strong do not contact him, for now (and preferably permanently) you have to disengage. You may well end up having a cordial polite "friendship", but now is not the time! Right now it's about securing your own future.

Imo teach the dc about boundaries.. Don't have a cunt as your mate....

It's up to him and the teens to decide on contact at their age.

I'm glad you have appointments. And that he's away for you to have space.

Legal advice taken.
Current possibly one time infidelity. He said he loved her though.
Will look after myself and get my daughter through her final few months at school.
Thank you all