Reporting ex for fraud

[thewrongcolourcup]

Spilt from ex years ago M40s. Abusive and awful man. He has been claiming to be too unwell to work and has to be dressed and toileted by a carer. Can’t walk more than 20m. Has a mobility car and badge.
my primary age children have scraped by on FSM and I’ve worked long hours to get out of the debt he left me with.
due to benefits he’s due to pay £29 a month child maintenance. He pays more in cash to me (£500) he has a partner who works can cares for him.
he's able bodied and works a physical job, i now have evidence to prove him working, at the gym, feeding himself, swimming, rock climbing ect.
i have ptsd from the relationship and have worked very hard to the best parent and have healed after his years of abuse and control.
AIBU to report to HMRC, DWP as he’s living a lie? Will I cut my nose off to spite my face ?
kids know he works but hides is as they aren’t stupid and see work clothes about ect.
i will be financially in the shit without his cash each month for the kids.
AiBu to report or should I mind my business and carry on and let karma work?

Are you saying he’s voluntarily giving you £500 more than what he legally has to pay?

If you want to lose the £500 a month, then report him by all means

This is the dilemma

Yes he does

If you report him, and he is then convicted of benefit fraud or at the least has the benefits stopped, would he lose his job and stop giving you the cash £500 each month? Can you manage without the £500 each month?

Do it!

we can’t survive without it. He works cash in hand to avoid tax and CMS

You’ve kind of answered your own question here. If you report him, he’s going to lose his job. The gym aren’t going to suddenly put him through the books so that you can make a claim through cms. It benefits employers to pay cash in hand, as it reduces their holiday / national insurance / pension costs. He’ll (rightly) lose his benefits, and his source of income. That would serve him right, but he’s not then going have the money to pay you £500 extra.

He’s abusive and nasty, left you in debt?Take his cash and report him when you don’t need it any more. That way you and the tax payer benefit.

Then you don't report him.

The money you're getting is via fraud. Report him.

I would do everything to get to the position where you didn't rely on that £500 cash every month, and then report him. I would also want to be independent of that £500 monthly, as it is totally insecure income for you and could stop at any point. Someone else might report him, his employer could sack him without any comeback, he could decide to stop paying you, if he's unwell and can't work etc etc.

This is a good plan. His £500 basically covers my debts.
I have £14k left to pay.
i do worry that he will decide not to pay. His ‘carer’ gf seems lovely and has pushed for him to pay more since the £29.

I’m not sure you have healed as you’re seeking revenge and want to get at him. I’d consider that, as it doesn’t come across you’re doing this for altruistic reasons, more you want to behave spitefully.

This.
Presumably you haven't declared the extra £500 cash in hand that he's giving you every month either.

Hence posting here to get some clarity- not an immediate knee jerk reaction.
i need to see all angles of this dilemma.
after trauma and abuse it’s hard to see certain things clearly and not clouded judgement

It’s all declared here as child Maintenance.

Spend your energy working on your own healing op. You're not going to get better by getting into another battle with him over something at this point that is frankly nothing to do with you. Take the money he owes and use that comfort to make your own life the best it can be. When you don't give a flying shit what he's doing, that's when you know you're in a better place.