Been pushed out at work following maternity leave, how do I string things out to preserve income as long as possible?

[Outbookfs]

I’m in a really bad place, please be kind.

i came back from maternity leave in mid January 2024. So around a year ago. We’ve had loads of changes in management and my confidence has been very low coming back but I have had good feedback from clients and nothing has gone wrong. My new manger seems to take issue with everything I do even though other team members have made similar minor errors. At first I thought I was being over sensitive but I don’t think I am. It’s clear he simply doesn’t like that I’m not as gobby as other members of the team and he knows I have full responsibility for dd during the week (partner works abroad weekly).

I just want to leave but not without another job as I am on a good salary. DP is supportive of whatever I decide. I don’t know how to handle this. My mental health is very bad but I wonder if going off sick although buys me more time to job search, it doesn’t look great. I have always been a good employee. I’ve had no sickness and always been available outside office hours. I feel totally victimised which I know isn’t the right mentality but I just want to get out. Can anyone help with the best way to manage this?

Have you started looking for a new position?
How badly do you need the ‘good salary’? Could you manage on a slightly lower income for a while if it was a job that made you happier?
Start working on a way to get out. That will make you feel better.

If you want to prolong things you need to pretend you haven’t noticed his attitude in public, like pretend to be completely oblivious.

keep doing just enough but stop going the xtra mile. Spend your extra mile time job hunting.

if you’ve been there a long time it will likely take him time to manage you out. Mentally detach now.

Really sorry this is happening to you but I think your chances of getting a new job whilst currently on sick leave in the current one are very low. You need an exit plan but sick leave is not it.

@Smartiepants79 yes I’ve started looking and have got one interview lined up and have applied for three other roles earlier this week. Although my income is good I do have a lot of debt and this salary was aiming to pay it off by November so I a gutted really that this has happened

@AppleKatie I have made some job applications and have one interview coming up. I’ve only been there 4.5 years so not a very long time. I am in a lot of debt that this salary was clearing and I would have paid it off by November so I am gutted

@Nospecialcharactersplease what do you suggest for an exit plan? I feel like I’m drowning at the moment

What is the debt from? If it was due to taking mat leave, then surely its family debt that your dp is partly responsible for too?

@JimHalpertsWife no it is my debt but my DP helps with it.

Sounds like you are doing all the right things, you just need to hold your nerve and prepare well for the interview

I second the mentally detaching. Remember this is a job, not your ‘life’ and as soon as you leave they’ll forget you so try not to give them/it too much head space. Do your job and do it well, don’t go the extra mile, have your time to moan/rant/seethe and look for other employment. If you can ride it out till November and clear your debt then great. If something else comes your way meantime, also great. I feel like this but I just keep my head down, do my job, overkill with kindness and go home and forget about it.

It sounds like you’re doing the right things already if you are applying for jobs and have an interview coming up.

Do you need more time for applications and interview prep? If so, can your partner commit to doing childcare all day on either Saturday or Sunday so you have a full day at the weekend to focus on this?

And think about what terms would help you when you come to negotiating a new role. Flexible hours, 4 day week etc.

As a PP said just mentally detach from
the job. Work to the letter and keep applying for jobs. But you need to build your confidence back up.

Do you not have any kind of review after being off on maternity? Have you actually been given any negative feedback on your work? Could you ask for one if not?
You sound miserable.. I think you're taking all the right steps to make the change you need!
Could you take a little bit of annual leave?- get even a week off to get away from the place and do your job searching!
Good luck. Remember, this is all temporary.

What do you mean by 'full responsibility of dc'?

I’d imagine she means, if her child is sick, she has to be home and she has to leave on time to collect dc.. because her dh works away.

Yes I am always there 24/7

Can you just do some "quiet quitting" til November? Be online your exact paid hours, do what's expected but take your entitled breaks and finish dot on 5. Do not then make yourself available outside of your contracted hours.

If you can wfh then do the minimum you can manage day to day to keep them off your back.

All with the knowledge that the debt will be paid off in 9 months and the financial strain will ease massively.

I also think it's worth you taking some time for yourself at the weekend when dh is home with dd.

Have you had meetings with your boss to discuss? Appraisals etc? Have your mistakes been officially documented? Have you received any written warnings? If not then I don’t see how they can push you out.

Nothing official but recently loads of comments nit picking things that literally everyone else does in the team too. Being told they thought I’d be performing better by now after mat leave. Loads of comments like that

I'm so sorry this is happening.

Home - Pregnant Then Screwed may be able to help.

Start keeping a diary of their behaviours, however small. And where you are getting comments and others are not.

I went on sick leave following a disagreement with my manager. My daughter had been placed in an unsafe situation and that school had called my work to get her. I explained to my manager I had to leave& she said if I went I would face disciplinary action.

Within a week I had been interviewed and had a start date. Went into my boss and gave her my notice with immediate effect. We were very low staffed and she tried to get me to stay, my answer of you thought your minimum wage job was more important than my child shut her up. Ironically she was sacked not long after following an abundance of complaints from throughout the office.