Did you ever dismiss yourself?

[InBminor]

Last night, I finished a relationship with someone, believing that he was loosing interest in me and had lost respect for me.

Having slept on it and thought about it this morning and recalled some events that happened between us.
I now believe the reverse may have been true. He may have pulled back because he thought I had lost interest in him somewhat, and was off and away doing exciting stuff without him and with others recently.

It seems each of our respective insecurities may have crashed into one another.

Has this ever happened to you? How long did it take you to figure it out? Any regrets? Do you think it was ever salvageable?

Regardless of the underlying reason, you encountered and interpreted actions that went against your boundaries. Leave it there.

Whether they did it because you pulled first, it doesn't matter, they didn't use their adult voice and communicate that they were feeling that way. Instead they pulled back.

Yes it has happened.

last year in fact.

i sent two long heartfelt emails about previous regrets about my immaturity etc - after that I dropped the rope so contact is much less frequent - almost but still amicable when it happens

Is this because you realised it was you who’d pulled away first rather than the other party?

If a place of mutual understanding was reached between you, why do you think you were not able to continue?

Ah no no! I really sensed he wanted to pull away.

Basically, in the time period 2010-2013 we were very close. In recent years, not so much.

i had to be realistic that the relationship in recent years while amicable wasn’t close and maybe he thought what’s the point !

Doesn’t appear that either of you is too bothered about it. Clean break more kind than a long slow death probably.

Definitely!