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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

For not caring about extended family? And not visiting?

6 replies

lalabugirl · 19/02/2025 21:50

I mostly care about my nearest who live here, my fathers family live in another country so besides from having 1 cousin there on my facebook we don’t speak. But i know some people have expectations when you go on a trip where familiy lives there to visit or plan something togheter with them. I know a cousin got a bit like «um excuse me😭» when i posted something on my facebook story and i didn’t tell him i was there. My tought was «last time i so you was 9 years ago, and you arent terrible important in my life, and i don’t really care about you».

We ended up meeting him once, my bf liked him but it does take a whole day of your vacation where i could be spending my time elsewhere. Don’t get me wrong he is a nice person but yea. This time it seems like my dad will be traveling to same destination at the same time as me and my bf. But this year i have no plans in visiting or hanging with my cousin. But im pretty sure my dad will be calling me to meet up. With my uncle and his wife and cousins that really don’t care about me and same feeling back. So therefor i don’t want to waste a whole day of my vacation just because their my «family». So what is a nice way to say that i don’t have time or sthm?

OP posts:
lalabugirl · 19/02/2025 22:40

Anyone got any idea how i can say in a nice way?

OP posts:
Endofyear · 20/02/2025 02:05

I'm not sure there is a nice way to say I don't want to meet up with you as I think it's a waste of my holiday!

JandamiHash · 20/02/2025 02:15

Ugh my mum is like this - “Your great aunty Dot is visiting Yorkshire next month I told her you’d meet up”. Who?! No I won’t be doing that. I deeply regretted giving in one year as I welcomed an uncle who was in his 60’s who I took to my local pub and he sat making racist remarks and comments about young girls around us. I was bloody furious and realised being blood related doesn’t mean people aren’t dicks. I don’t get the whole “But they’re faaaaaamily” <Barbara Windsor voice> thing.

Just say you have a really full diary and will let them know if you find a window. Or block them from seeing your stories

TruthThatsHardAsSteel · 20/02/2025 02:18

lalabugirl · 19/02/2025 22:40

Anyone got any idea how i can say in a nice way?

You're booked up on the trip?,

coronafiona · 20/02/2025 02:21

"Hi cousin, I'm coming to X next month. If you're able to pop in for a cuppa we are around on Wednesday 3-5pm, would be lovely to see you but if you're working we understand " or something like that??

PeloMom · 20/02/2025 02:26

If you don’t really speak how do they know where are you going to be and when??
did you post about the same about a month ago - a place in Spain? If that’s the same person, you is not your cousins fault, it’s your partner wanting to meet with him

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