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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Am I in the wrong?

20 replies

HerosAreUs · 19/02/2025 14:01

Hi all.
I do apologise this is rather petty but my friend has got very angry with me and I want to know people's opinions.
So... 7 years ago we had our first child. My friend bought him some lovely Dr Martens boots which we then kept for our 2nd and 3rd child.
Our youngest has grown out of them and the boots are still in good condition so I sold them on Vinted which I then use the money to buy other bits for my children.
Anyways, yesterday my friend asked if I still had the boots as she's expecting a baby nephew in the summer and would like them for her nephew.
When I said that I had sold them on Vinted she got really annoyed and said I should have asked her first before selling them.
She had never mentioned that she would like the boots back in all the 7 years we've had these boots.
I said to her that I'd gladly give her the money I made on Vinted and she can get another pair of boots for her nephew. The exact ones are on Vinted which I've sent her the link if she wanted him to have the same boots. Also bare in mind these boots were an infant size 6 so the baby wouldn't be wearing them for a good couple of years.
Who is in the wrong here?
Yabu- I should have asked if friend wanted them back before selling them.
YANBU- friend is being unreasonable.

OP posts:
ShushImTalking · 19/02/2025 14:04

She is cheeky, they were a gift to you.
You should not be offering her money in lieu, either.

Tootiredforthis23 · 19/02/2025 14:06

YANBU. They were a gift, you don’t ask for gifts back! Don’t give her the money either. If she mentions it again just say you didn’t think she was serious as they were a present for your baby, not a loan.

Dueanamechange2025 · 19/02/2025 14:07

No harm in friend asking if you still had them and would like to pass them on but also absolutely not wrong to have sold them after using them for your DC. Friend wrong for being cross about it and you definitely shouldn’t have offered the money.

Namsara · 19/02/2025 15:01

My friend bought him some lovely Dr Martens boots which we then kept for our 2nd and 3rd child.

was it a gift or not?

Moonnstars · 19/02/2025 15:03

If she gifted them then I don't see the issue. If she handed you a bag of kids stuff and then asked if you could return it once they have grown out of it as she wanted it back then fair enough.

Merryoldgoat · 19/02/2025 15:03

YABU for not laughing in her face.

Lightsoy · 19/02/2025 15:03

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

toomuchfaff · 19/02/2025 15:22

7 yrs ago a friend gave a gift..

Now asking for it back

annoyed because can't have it

Dod you tell her to Fck off

Completelyjo · 19/02/2025 15:24

@Dueanamechange2025 No harm in friend asking if you still had them and would like to pass them on

They weren’t hers to pass on!

Dueanamechange2025 · 19/02/2025 15:33

Completelyjo · 19/02/2025 15:24

@Dueanamechange2025 No harm in friend asking if you still had them and would like to pass them on

They weren’t hers to pass on!

Exactly why I said ‘like’ to pass on. If I had finished with something and someone else was having a baby, I’d happily pass them on.

There is absolutely no requirement to pass them on though.

Hdjdb42 · 19/02/2025 15:34

No, they were gifted.to your child! It's nice all your children got to wear them. I would not give her the money. I'd spend it on something for them to wear.

Idontjetwashthefucker · 19/02/2025 15:36

That's some total CF behaviour, who gifts a kid something and asks for it back 7 YEARS LATER?!

Don't offer her money, they were yours to sell/pass on

WaltzingWaters · 19/02/2025 15:37

She needs lessons on what a gift is!

Chuchoter · 19/02/2025 15:40

Ask her for a copy of the loan agreement that should have accompanied the boots that were being loaned to you.

Sunnyandaway · 19/02/2025 15:43

I would be very angry if I was the nephews mother and someone had given me shoes worn by 3 kids and 7 years old!!

Idontjetwashthefucker · 19/02/2025 16:02

Sunnyandaway · 19/02/2025 15:43

I would be very angry if I was the nephews mother and someone had given me shoes worn by 3 kids and 7 years old!!

Why? Don't your kids ever wear hand me downs, charity shop or Vinted/FB/eBay stuff?

Freshflower · 19/02/2025 16:07

Totally out of order for her to do this. They were given to you as a gift, so they belong to you and you can then sell them as you wish

ItGhoul · 19/02/2025 16:18

Your friend is nuts.

HerosAreUs · 19/02/2025 16:20

As I thought! I just wanted reassurance that I haven't been out of order. I don't mind giving her the money I made cos if I hadn't sold them already I would have given her the boots to pass on to her nephew. They are really cool boots so I know why she wanted them but I didn't know she was expecting a nephew until she told me yesterday! Anyways. Im sure she'll get over it 🤣

OP posts:
Topseyt123 · 19/02/2025 16:26

She gave them as a gift 7 years ago, not a loan. She can't now expect them back. They were yours to sell onwards if you wanted to, which you did.

Your friend is a cheeky fucker and I would not be offering her any money at all. You don't give a gift and then at a later date ask for it back!!

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