To think that the pain of loneliness is sometimes preferable to the pain others cause you?

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Have you ever thought about walking away from nearly everyone you know? Have you ever actually done it and how did it go?

Im a few months after a break up that has made m feel like the entire relationship was a lie. Added on to that, some close friends of mine made things very very difficult at the start and a lot of things were said behind my back. I am struggling to trust anyone at the moment. I feel like a lot of people around me just play characters rather than being themselves and seem to think nothing of using people for their own gain, whether it be to rant at you the entire time you see them about their problems but never reciprocating, whether to look down on you to make themselves feel better or simply for an ego boost.

I am really struggling at the moment. I just want to run away from everyone.

Anyone?

😞

I get you. I live alone. Every experience from birth to my 60s has confirmed to me its safer this way. I can be more relaxed. I'm very self reliant though.

I’m sorry you feel this way: I can’t offer any real support because the people in my life do not universally make me feel like this. Of course, some do, but I tend to not allow them to stay in my life long! I don’t really understand this concept of playing characters though? How do you know that isn’t the real them? Surely perception is reality in this sort of thing. I hear the phrase on reality tv too and I don’t really get it “be authentic/real”. This may be my neurodiversity talking!

you may do better with this thread in chat. AIBU is not always a comforting place.

Yes, life is much more peaceful. I do sometimes get lonely but as you said, that's a lot less painful than being treated badly by people.

It’s ok to feel like this. You will still be processing the end of your relationship and without supportive friendships it can’t be easy. It might sound glib but I guarantee that a few more months down the line you will begin to feel stronger, you’ll see the wood for the trees, but you must absolutely go No Contact with your ex.

If you think it will help you gain perspective why not book a long weekend or few nights away somewhere pleasant and give yourself some headspace and a new adventure.
Hopefully at least one friend might surface who will help you get through this tough time but if not, ask around for a therapist. Talking really does help.
You might also try journaling. Therapists often recommend that.
I can identify with how you feel. I was fortunate that I had a couple of fab friends, patient people who were good listeners. I wish you well as you climb higher and find your glow again.

Oh no!! That's horrible. But no, there are some lovely, genuine people out there (I know, I am one)😎.
You need to take some time, lick your wounds, then start from scratch.
Distance yourself from those who don't bring anything positive to YOUR life. Don't lock yourself away, There are decent, kind and lovely people out there, you just have to let them find you.
🫂 💐 xx

I would say if you don’t understand the concept of people playing characters, it’s because you’re an authentic person yourself 🙂

Thanks all. I do think I will pick myself back up again at some point. I just find wallowing is my default at the moment which really isn’t healthy, I know

I think for romantic relationships absolutely. Part of the reason I stay single is to protect myself from that kind of hurt. Friendships I am fortunate to have good friends, but I would definitely walk away if i felt the need.

I cut out multiple people in 2024 and I don’t miss any of them. Now I only have a small circle but it’s solid.

I feel lonely now and again but it passes. I’d rather have a few friends than people who use me or thrive off drama.