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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it’s not possible to get married in your back garden in England??

76 replies

Bootlebride · 19/02/2025 09:11

Everything I have read about the law on weddings in England and Wales suggests it’s not possible to get married in your back garden (unless you own a stately home or a castle or something). (The law is slightly different in Scotland).

However, I was reading a thread on Facebook yesterday where a handful of people were saying they had got married in their back garden, by a registrar (so, not just a symbolic ceremony with a celebrant and then doing the legal bit at the registry office later, but actually getting officially married by the registrar in their own back garden).

But I just cannot see how it’s possible… is there something I’m missing here? Or are some local authorities just a bit more lax than others in what they’ll allow? Can someone explain it to me?

From the citizens advice website:

”Where can a marriage take place
A marriage can take place in:-

  • a Register Office
  • premises approved by the local authority such as a hotel
  • a church of the Church of England, Church in Wales
  • a synagogue or any other private place if both partners are Jewish
  • a Meeting House if one or both partners are either members of the Society of Friends (Quakers) or are associated with the Society by attending meetings
  • any registered religious building (England and Wales only)
  • the home of one of the partners if the partner is housebound or detained, for example, in prison
  • a place where one partner is seriously ill and not expected to recover, for example, in hospital
  • a licensed naval, military or air force chapel

Local authorities in England and Wales may approve premises other than Register Offices where civil marriages may take place. Applications for approval must be made by the owner or trustee of the building, not the couple.
The premises must be regularly open to members of the public, so private homes are unlikely to be approved, since they are not normally open to the public. Stately homes, hotels and civic buildings are likely to be thought suitable. Approval will not be given for open air venues, such as moonlit beaches or golf courses. Generally, the premises will need to be permanent built structures, although it may be possible for approval to be given to a permanently moored, publicly open boat. Hot air balloons or aeroplanes will not be approved.”

Other websites, including .gov websites, seem to back that up.

OP posts:
Genevieva · 19/02/2025 09:14

We have friends who did the formal paperwork at the torn hall then had a humanist wedding ceremony in a field the next day with some sort of humanist person officiating. You are right that the location needs to be licensed.

chelseahealyslips · 19/02/2025 09:15

No it's not legal to marry in your garden. But it's fine to hold a ceremony in one.
You'd need to do the legal bit in a registry office either before or after.
To have it official, the place needs a license. Some venues do outside weddings but they have a permanent structure like a gazebo or something to do it.

Amba1998 · 19/02/2025 09:16

You can’t have 2 legal weddings. Either the registrar did it in the garden or they went to the registry office.

sounds like they had a celebrant in their back garden, who basically says all the same stuff as a reg but it’s not legal and guests would be non the wiser!

Original poster
Bootlebride · 19/02/2025 09:18

chelseahealyslips · 19/02/2025 09:15

No it's not legal to marry in your garden. But it's fine to hold a ceremony in one.
You'd need to do the legal bit in a registry office either before or after.
To have it official, the place needs a license. Some venues do outside weddings but they have a permanent structure like a gazebo or something to do it.

Edited

That’s what I thought, but there were at least three people saying they actually did the legal bit in their garden??! Are they just lying?? Or did the registrar break the law? Or perhaps they are mistaken and it wasn’t a real registrar and they aren’t really married?? 😂

OP posts:
BlondiePortz · 19/02/2025 09:18

Some people have what they call multiple weddings only one would be legal

chelseahealyslips · 19/02/2025 09:20

Bootlebride · 19/02/2025 09:18

That’s what I thought, but there were at least three people saying they actually did the legal bit in their garden??! Are they just lying?? Or did the registrar break the law? Or perhaps they are mistaken and it wasn’t a real registrar and they aren’t really married?? 😂

Show quote history

I think they're probably mistaken. A celebrant looks official and people use them for lots of ceremonies including weddings and funerals but can't legally marry you.

Youcalyptus · 19/02/2025 09:21

Do they understand which bit is the legal bit?

Blarn · 19/02/2025 09:22

I love how that guidance specifically rules out 'moonlit beaches'. Do you think this is something they had a lot of annoyed correspondence about so felt the need to include it in the published guidelines!

Original poster
Bootlebride · 19/02/2025 09:24

Blarn · 19/02/2025 09:22

I love how that guidance specifically rules out 'moonlit beaches'. Do you think this is something they had a lot of annoyed correspondence about so felt the need to include it in the published guidelines!

That tickled me too!

OP posts:
Original poster
Bootlebride · 19/02/2025 10:35

Ps I wish the people who voted YABU would explain why… I’m genuinely curious to know!

OP posts:
toomuchfaff · 19/02/2025 10:42

FB lies!

I researched to get married in a garden of a house we were trying to buy (but fell through), to become a registered wedding venue, it has to be a place where other weddings can occur. So unless their garden is a registered wedding venue, with other weddings allowed to occur, then their FB post is bullshit. More likely they did a blessing type event with the legal bit done in registrar.

Scotland you can marry anywhere.

LilacLilias · 19/02/2025 10:47

Blarn · 19/02/2025 09:22

I love how that guidance specifically rules out 'moonlit beaches'. Do you think this is something they had a lot of annoyed correspondence about so felt the need to include it in the published guidelines!

Yes, I highly suspect this is what happened 😆😆

Glorybox2025 · 19/02/2025 10:49

You're right. Our celebrant said there is discussion around loosening up the rules but not yet! Having a celebrant ceremony somewhere lovely is very common these days though from mumsnet I learnt that some people think it's fake and wouldn't want to attend one

museumum · 19/02/2025 10:52

The law is not 'slightly different' in Scotland - it's entirely different. You can get married anywhere, up a hill on a beach, wherever you want.
Are you sure that the people on facebook aren't or weren't in Scotland at the time? - it does still give you a legal UK marriage.

elrider · 19/02/2025 10:52

Are you sure all of the people on the Facebook group got married in England or Wales?

OneMomentPlease · 19/02/2025 10:57

You are correct OP, if they held a ceremony in their garden without having a legal ceremony elsewhere (e.g. register office) then they are not legally married. Registrars can perform non-legal commitment ceremonies so it might be worth checking that they do understand the difference.

There is no question of them being married because the registrar ‘broke the law’. You are only married in England if married in a licensed premises, the registrar is not licensed themselves (unlike in Scotland).

As PP says, they could apply to have their garden licensed as a venue but the garden would then have to be accessible to the general public for their own ceremony, and the garden would have to be available for general hire for ceremonies for the duration of the license.

BeaAndBen · 19/02/2025 10:58

I’m very much enjoying the “no, you can’t have your Pinterest board wedding in the sky, you irksome people” tone from the examples.

Moonlit beaches and hot air balloons…

They might as well have said “you’re not special, you’re not original, you’re signing a legal contract so get a grip.”
😂😂😂😂

ObelixtheGaul · 19/02/2025 11:02

Blarn · 19/02/2025 09:22

I love how that guidance specifically rules out 'moonlit beaches'. Do you think this is something they had a lot of annoyed correspondence about so felt the need to include it in the published guidelines!

Yeah, I bet when they were drawing it up, somebody said, 'make it clear about moonlit beaches, will you? I've had twenty people ask this week.'

Original poster
Bootlebride · 19/02/2025 11:38

museumum · 19/02/2025 10:52

The law is not 'slightly different' in Scotland - it's entirely different. You can get married anywhere, up a hill on a beach, wherever you want.
Are you sure that the people on facebook aren't or weren't in Scotland at the time? - it does still give you a legal UK marriage.

Yes, I specifically asked “did you get married in Scotland” and they said no, England!

OP posts:
ItGhoul · 19/02/2025 12:15

Bootlebride · 19/02/2025 09:18

That’s what I thought, but there were at least three people saying they actually did the legal bit in their garden??! Are they just lying?? Or did the registrar break the law? Or perhaps they are mistaken and it wasn’t a real registrar and they aren’t really married?? 😂

Show quote history

They’re either lying or they don’t realise that their ceremony wasn’t legally binding.

I suspect it might be the latter, as I once worked with a woman who had some kind of outdoor wedding somewhere (can’t remember the circumstances but she was very into twee sparkly fairies and unicorns and mermaids and stuff like that and I think it was some sort of woodland fairytale vibe) and genuinely didn’t understand until about two years later that her ceremony had no legal validity whatsoever.

Papergirl1968 · 19/02/2025 12:28

I don’t know if the home of one of the partners might include the garden? I know of one recent wedding at home where the bride was terminally ill and I guess not well enough to travel to a registry office.
Didn’t Harry and Meghan claim they’d actually got married three days before the wedding, which turned out to be a load of rubbish?

TeaRoseTallulah · 19/02/2025 12:36

We got married in my parent's garden, we had the official paperwork done a month before and then a friend who is a vicar blessed us in the garden.

helpfulperson · 19/02/2025 12:38

Sounds like the Big Bang Theory episode where Penny doesn't believe her Las Vegas wedding was real.

ohtowinthelottery · 19/02/2025 12:59

I'm sure there was some talk 12-18 months ago about changing the law so you could get married anywhere, but as far as I know it hasn't happened yet.
As a PP said, you can register your garden for weddings, but it then has to be available for weddings in general, not just yours. I know because a friend looked into it for her DD. The DD ended up getting married at a registry office and then had a 'wedding' with a celebrant in the garden later.

Glorybox2025 · 19/02/2025 13:03

TeaRoseTallulah · 19/02/2025 12:36

We got married in my parent's garden, we had the official paperwork done a month before and then a friend who is a vicar blessed us in the garden.

This is the point though - you got married in a licensed venue and had a ceremony in a garden! We did similar and the ceremony was the meaningful bit but it wasn't the marriage service.

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