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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel trepidation about new neighbour?

3 replies

Peacefulliving · 18/02/2025 11:59

Our neighbours have started building works which will be very extensive. I do not mind this in most part but they have proved since they purchased the house to be a bit shady in the way they conduct themselves (including dodgy tax dealing, which we reliably came to know through someone they tried to rope into a dodgy transaction). I am not confident they will adhere to the plans approved by the Council, which means we have to be vigilant as the extensive work can affect our property which is adjoined to theirs. This is already causing me a bit of anticipated stress.

Added to this, whenever they come around to view the works being done, they are always looking through our windows at the front and back. Just always looking to see how we have done our own renovations inside. It now feels like harassment. I now keep the curtains closed even during the day.

When we first moved in, the wife came charging into our house telling us what we should do and trying to very strongly ask us not to object to her planning permission for a 6m extension. We did object and ask them to make amendments to make it less impacting on our property. We have been extremely reasonable and have tried to be as neighbourly as possible.

I just want to live in peace but I can feel it will be uncomfortable living next to them. We've always had great neighbours in the past wherever we've lived. It feels like they are in competition with us even though we really just want to be left alone. I can't help but feel that over the years, they will try all sorts of things to get back at us for objecting.

I may be overthinking it but it's just a gut feeling (especially through their behaviour and the little interactions that we've had with them) that we will constantly have to be on the look out (they cannot be trusted to just be good neighbours who ignore us as we would like to do them).

OP posts:
Peacefulliving · 18/02/2025 16:43

Bump

OP posts:
mondaytosunday · 18/02/2025 16:59

Well not sure what you are asking here. Feeling nervous about new neighbours who have already proven a bit overbearing is not unreasonable. All you can do is keep an eye out but I'm sure they'll settle down.

Raquelos · 18/02/2025 17:04

This sounds stressful OP, you have my sympathy. I suppose the positive is that you are alert to it already so you can do things like setting clear boundaries with them and keeping a record of conversations and incidents from the outset rather than kicking yourself down the line for having been too nice or too trusting. But honestly, I would really resent the extra bandwidth this would take up in my head as well. Maybe think about preemptive adjustments you can make - like fencing to block them from your line of sight so you can think about them less. Best of luck!

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