Adult children have cut me out

[funinsun]

my husband and i have been 18 years he had children fm another marriage, I have pretty decent relationships alwas did thing plans weekend adventures family traditions ect the 2 ears ago i had left the home for some serious dv i was not welcome to come to my home at christmas so i spent it alone both my parents and brothwr died earlir that year. 'the kids talked to right up till november and then bam i wasnt welcome to my sons wedding (setep son but i dont call then thay) they have holiday gatheriing im not welcome and recently both baby announcement and then most recent gender reval,

i have done so much gfot then and my husband saod he said something but the said they aret readt. i dont think thats true i think they are going to contunue ive asked to talk to them send letter my husband always comes home with some reason i cant. its got to feel horible for him pick my afult children or my wife...well its always them he picks so is it time to close this chapter and build a new life

So you had to leave your home with your husband due to DV? But your back together?

His adult children want nothing to do with you?

So there was domestic violence and you left but now you're together again? Was the domestic violence from your husband towards yourself?

Were you the victim or the abuser?

I'm struggling to understand?

You've been together for 18 years, you moved out due to domestic violence and now you're back together his adult children don't want anything to do with you?

Who was violent towards who?
Also, if they are your step children and you broke up with their father due to DV (from either party) why would they still be in contact with you?

My advice is to get your thoughts together clearly and rewrite your OP.

I dont understand anything you have type op.

I don't understand your post

You left after 18 years after a serious assault, weren't able to stay in the family home so spent Xmas alone as your parents and brother have passed away. Your stepchildren you've always been close to and done things for, kept in touch until November but have since blocked you from all events, which your husband will attend/does attend without you. He says they are not ready for any rapprochement.

1. If you were the victim then everyone is unreasonable, including you, to yourself. You may be lonely but returning to a dynamic where there is violence..you need to do the Freedom program. Why his children have sided with him, if he was violent to you, no idea. Blood is thicker than water.
2. If you were the culprit then you are being unreasonable. Unless there were solid extenuating circumstances (temporary insanity, diminished responsibility, self-defence) and it was completely out of character (hence you've been allowed back/reunited with your husband) then his children are wary of you for good reason and it would take time and effort on your part to regain their trust again.

Sorry I am unclear. Have you returned to the relationship? Or has that relationship broken down completely? Did you move in with him at the start?

Sounds like he has told some fibs to them about you or else asked them to chose? Sadly in situations like this the Step-parent eventually loses out on a relationship with the stepkids despite having a great relationship with them.

Can you rewrite your post so it's easier for others to help you.

From what I understand your husband assaulted you and you're back together but upset the step kids aren't speaking to you ? I would argue that's the least of your problems.

Apparently not 🤷🏻