Have you ever wanted to distance from a group of friends?

[Catsarekings123]

Or thought that maybe they don't actually even like you that much? They don't actively dislike me, it's just more 'meh' I feel.

Many in this group now have young children, and since their birth I've always shown an interest in their babies, always travelled to them to help them out and always interact with their children/bought them gifts etc.

I don't yet have any children of my own, I was with someone for a few years who I left because he didn't want to commit to me. I'm in a fantastic relationship now but it's only been around 7 months, I'm not yet at that stage of having a baby/getting engaged. I feel like the others who've already been married several years and have kids just feel they have more in common and that I 'don't get it'. I do want children but unfortunately my life circumstances didn't lead to me marrying the one at 28-30 like they did.

Admittedly we all went to school together and in our early 20s went on holiday etc. However now I suppose we don't have much in common anymore. There's one I'm close to and I'd like to keep contact with her, but I suppose with a lot of the others it can feel forced and just small talk. It's a shame, and I guess I don't know why I'm clinging on.

I've tried for years to get them to travel to me but they have no interest and have pretty much never seen any of my homes. I'm an hour away tops, probably more like 50 mins, and same for them. I've travelled hours to see them before but it's never once been reciprocated sadly.

With a small number of them I've felt like they can make very subtle digs, it might just be me being sensitive. But it's there, and without sounding arrogant (and I'll probably get flamed) I've wondered if some of them are jealous of me as I'm considered as attractive and have done more like moved abroad and so on. That doesn't mean I think I'm better in any way, if anything they're all doing much better than I am, but I've wondered this.

I guess for whatever reason I'm clinging on because I've known them for 20 years and because they can be lovely. But they just do not value me. I'm due to go to another baby shower of theirs end of May. Not sure what to do.

Sometimes I feel sad I don't have very close friends, I've got old work colleagues i get on with and a few friends dotted around, so I have got friends but maybe only one or two who'd have my back. Fortunately my family and boyfriend are fantastic.

OP, you posted pretty much exactly the same thing within the last week. The advice won’t have changed. You think they’re not interested in you because you haven’t had the same rites of passage (hen parties, weddings, baby showers) they’ve had, and you resent that they don’t travel to see you. The only thing that is mysterious here is you attending all their stuff, while resenting it, despite the fact that there’s no reciprocal interest.

You are at liberty to step out of any relationships that aren’t working for you. These ones clearly aren’t. Ask yourself why you’ve kept dutifully trotting along to their events for so long.

You said that last time too. People advised you to make new friends and spend your time with people who are interested in you, rather than wishing this group wpuld suddenly start to behave entirely differently. That you can’t control. All you can do is change your mindset and invest in new friendships.

@Catsarekings123 you have already posted this. I will repeat what I said. Stop making efforts to go see them since they don't care about you. Find new friends.