we share our garden with mil ....................

[CinderellaInCyberspace]

and I feel the garden is not mine

I need some space

feel like digging up her fecking veg garden!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

mumbles to oneself I mean
'she has bad hips
bad knees
and a bad mood after all the gardening'

goes to look for a very large spade

It all depends who it belongs to as to whether YABU.

how come you share it?

How come you share it, do you own the property? Does she?

Snap!

maybe we will never know

hi

tis a tad confusing

sil house
we were renting
then we were broke.

mil pays sil the rent
but there is no mortage on the property

maybe I will build myself a wendy house

Then Im afraid YABU

ok

Sorry that was a bit harsh

I just think if she's helping you out by paying the rent etc, you should give her some leeway IYKWIM

no you gave your view that is fine

i feel that she s hurting herself and it seems an obession

It is very kind of her to help fiancialy, but i feel indebted to her

I can see its not an ideal situation

Does she spend loads of time in the garden faffing around with the veg and then moan? If so, she is BU to whine at you when she's doing something she chooses to do...perhaps she's hinting that she wants you to do the digging

my friend had a similar situation with her fil.

is it a small garden? can't you agree to have your own areas?

Yes why don't you tell her you'd love to do some gardening and see what she says. She might be really glad.

oh dear oh dear

Im fine
as she hobbles around

yes she really needs another hip operation

It is worrying to watch and the plants are very precious

and I have a very lively four year old

who never waters the plants properly!

how old is she?

seventy eight

I think

ok... is she really bery hobbly? What would you do with the veg gardn? Dif it all up, sow some grass, have a lawn. I think YABU if this is the case because even though you are claiming to be worried about her it could seem that you just want what you want. IYKWIM.

sorry - bery = very, dif = dig

no....

I would of loved ds to have some enjoyment from it too

I would of loved to make it less formal

everything has to be in perfect lines

and her health is suffering for it she has nearly tumbled many a time

I agree, sharing means having part of the pie, not just looking at it and spending all your time keeping your child from hitting it by accident!

Part of the garden could be yours as a family friendly area, for you, your partner, child, and your friends with their children.

We share our garden with mil, but there is a clearly defined border between our patch and hers. Mind you my parents don't respect that and wander right round her bit when they visit (mortified) and the cat poos regularly (even more mortified) in her freshly dug earth.

She in her turn insisted on repainting our swing and started cultivating a neglected corner of our area without our permission. Oh and also frequently carries our rubbish down to the road. I have clearly told her not to do this as it is our job............!

But perhaps she would enjoy teaching your DS all about growing things, and having the two of you to help with the hard work. I can understand she still needs to be in control of the garden though - it must be awfully frustrating for her to be losing her capability to handle it all.

People love their gardens as much as they love other people sometimes, don't forget that.

she loves her garden more than her health

and I feel awkward because she has the control and wants no help