Promotion at work - DH just blanked it

[SparklyNewMe]

I have been given a promotion with 15% increase in pay, fancy job title that I have yet processed… He has never congratulated me or said anything praising at all, just “Happy?” when I was given he offer number.

I do not need approval or validation but would have been nice to hear something nice. He has become a job hopper over the last 7 years, in the 4h company now, works at the same level in all jobs, no progression, earns well but thinks everyone is more stupid than he is. This is my third promotion in the same time at the same company, I work my socks off, but it feels like he is too jealous / indifferent to actually say something complimentary. I was planning to spend the extra money on house and experiences for us but not sure I feel like it any more. Our finances are separate except joint account for bills.

AIBU to feel annoyed and disappointed by his lack of acknowledgment of my success?

He's jealous, he wants you to be the little woman and not the career boss woman that you clearly are. This would be a relationship killer for me. Perhaps sit with him and explain how you feel really clearly and that he's coming off like a horrible dickhead and needs to sort himself out.

Congrats, OP!!!

At best, your husband just doesn't realise that you're excited and happy. At worst, he knows and won't acknowledge it because he doesn't care, or he's jealous. That's pretty crappy, either way.

What would happen if you spoke to him about your disappointment? Do you think he'd apologise and make it up to you? If so, it might be worth talking to him and see how you go.

But in any case, make sure you're setting plenty of money aside to take care of yourself in the future.

And again, congrats!! I'm very proud of you.

Congrats OP! What an inspiration. And what a piece of shit response from your husband. Treat yourself and your best friend/sister/anyone else to a night away and tell husband to enjoy his sour grapes.

Congratulations, well done you 👏 he is coming across as jealous. That is a shame as he should be proud of you and he should say he is proud of you. His attitude could have a very negative impact on your relationship, I think I would calmly say how his reaction has made you feel.

Thank you all and apologies for the typos, cannot edit now. The announcement is going out this week, I am so excited but also grateful to my team, it’s their hard work too that got me the recognition.

I shall go mad in Sezane as a consolation prize for his lack of interest, and marry better next time.

Op massive congratulations, you really need to call him out on this. Sit him down and ask why he's playing this game.

You are clearly assertive, intelligent and should have the balls to call him out.

I wouldn't stand for this at all in any relationship, he needs to regonise his behaviour is upsetting, and deeply hurtful and adjust.

Id be showing him the door and asking him to leave until he can be a partner and not a child.

Your last line made me laugh 😂

But in all seriousness, your partner in life should be the one cheering you on. I cannot state enough how important that is. I'm pretty sure he won't change and just imagine living like this for the REST of your life.

Nope, get out and be happy!

I’m going to hazard a guess that, as this has bothered you enough to post about it, this isn’t a one-off issue and that he’s a twat in many other ways?

If this was just one thing out of nowhere, I’d say that maybe he just doesn’t really grasp how important career progression and a salary really is to you because it’s not something he personally values so much. But I’m assuming this is very much not just one thing out of nowhere!

Congratulations op. Well done!

Hes insecure. His ego is bruised. He feels threatened by you. I bet you’ve never wanted him more!

Congratulations! Organise a celebration to celebrate and include him, also family or friends if you want? Cherish these times. see what his response is.

Do you show interest in each others jobs normally? His job hopping, is that a bad thing? I’ve been head hunted twice in past few years, my “job hopping” is down to success. I’ve found some men don’t like their wives earning more than them, maybe your DH is feeling that? It might spur him on to try to earn more.

Congratulations!!! It sounds like you’ve worked really hard and thoroughly deserve this. Definitely go mad in Sezane to treat yourself! It’s a bit sad that your DH isn’t sharing the moment with you. I’m guessing he’s either jealous or maybe values these kind of things less? You mentioned he job hops, is this intentional or kind of just ends up happening? You also mentioned that he thinks everyone else is stupid, it sounds like this is getting in the way of things maybe. Anyway, hopefully he bring a little more joy to your life in other ways. If not, maybe you need to consider your options.

I'd hate this. I'm fortunate enough to be married to someone who'd be straight on the phone booking a table at our favourite restaurant to celebrate if it was me.

However... my DH also has a great career and there's no jealousy. You come across as a bit condescending about his job hopping. It's going to feel hard for him and although he couid make more of an effort to control his emotions, that level of jealousy is tough emotionally. Most of us have been there. It's hard hearing about someone's pregnancy when you're battling infertility. It's hard hearing about someone's child getting straight A's when your child has SEN. And it's hard hearing about someone's success at work when however hard you try you just can't manage to hold a job down. Men battle with their emotions too.