To be struggling with my self esteem

Drewsnap · 2025-02-17T21:22:29+00:00

So my 18 year relationship ended 4 months ago. 3 weeks later he was with another woman, introducing her to the kids etc. I can’t stop comparing myself to her and why she is better than me. I know I made the right decision to end it as he just completely checked out on family life since the kids were born. I’m just struggling so much.

FarmGirl78 · 17/02/2025 21:27

She's not better than you. She's just not been with him long enough to see what an arse he is.

Please don't compare to how you feel now. Compare to how you'll feel in 6 months. In 2 years. In 10 years. You'll thank your lucky stars you left. Right now you're just feeling a bit miserable and sorry for yourself. You did the right thing by ending it, and you were strong and determined. Be proud of yourself and take time to be kind and recover.

Here's to you!! ❤️

Original poster

Drewsnap · 17/02/2025 21:31

FarmGirl78 · 17/02/2025 21:27

She's not better than you. She's just not been with him long enough to see what an arse he is.

Please don't compare to how you feel now. Compare to how you'll feel in 6 months. In 2 years. In 10 years. You'll thank your lucky stars you left. Right now you're just feeling a bit miserable and sorry for yourself. You did the right thing by ending it, and you were strong and determined. Be proud of yourself and take time to be kind and recover.

Here's to you!! ❤️

Thank you so much. I really needed to hear that.

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AcquadiP · 17/02/2025 21:31

She's not better than you. She's a rebound relationship. He checked out on your relationship, no doubt he'll check out with this one as well in time.

Endofyear · 17/02/2025 22:36

What on earth makes you think she's better than you? You had the strength and fortitude to end a long relationship, you weren't prepared to put up with his crap! You're a bloody warrior 💪 don't put yourself down, what would you tell your best friend if she was you?

You are strong
You are capable
You are deserving of happiness
You are loveable

Be your own best friend and tell yourself this every day! You've got this lovely 💐

Original poster

Drewsnap · 18/02/2025 07:45

Endofyear · 17/02/2025 22:36

What on earth makes you think she's better than you? You had the strength and fortitude to end a long relationship, you weren't prepared to put up with his crap! You're a bloody warrior 💪 don't put yourself down, what would you tell your best friend if she was you?

You are strong
You are capable
You are deserving of happiness
You are loveable

Be your own best friend and tell yourself this every day! You've got this lovely 💐

Yes. I would tell her the same. I didn’t think I would struggle so much afterwards with it being my decision, he seems completely fine! I’m sure in a few months time I will come out the other side.

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Original poster

Drewsnap · 18/02/2025 09:46

AcquadiP · 17/02/2025 21:31

She's not better than you. She's a rebound relationship. He checked out on your relationship, no doubt he'll check out with this one as well in time.

I don’t think it is a rebound as such as they have been friends for a while. Really full on now though as they have been on holiday together and pretty much living together

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Original poster

Drewsnap · 18/02/2025 11:40

The thing is he doesn’t seem to think he is doing anything wrong by introducing the kids etc. they are currently on holiday (although grandparents are there) I completely disagree with what he has done. As a woman I could not think of anything worse than going on holiday with my new partners kids and his parents, would be my worst nightmare

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Original poster

Drewsnap · 18/02/2025 15:04

Endofyear · 17/02/2025 22:36

What on earth makes you think she's better than you? You had the strength and fortitude to end a long relationship, you weren't prepared to put up with his crap! You're a bloody warrior 💪 don't put yourself down, what would you tell your best friend if she was you?

You are strong
You are capable
You are deserving of happiness
You are loveable

Be your own best friend and tell yourself this every day! You've got this lovely 💐

Also I really want to speak to the kids whilst they are away but I am so scared that I will see his new woman (never met her) it feels so awful

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Original poster

Drewsnap · 18/02/2025 21:07

Anyone?

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