AIBU to expect a more sincere response to a complaint (DM’s funeral tea) than an AI response?

[LivaLane]

I've waited weeks for a response to a complaint about the awful communication and service provided by a hotel when providing a room and food for my DM’s funeral tea.
After chasing the complaint I'm told the manager has gone and someone else has taken on the complaint.
I have received the response, AI generated. It turns around my complaint with an apology and a ‘we will address the issue raised’ for each point I made.

I feel a sense of insincerity, disrespect and a ‘get this off the books/tick box’ approach - but I'm not sure if I am being unreasonable?

YABU - AI generated is fine in response to the complaint
YANBU - AI generated response is not ok, especially given the circumstances.

Sadly, no.

We waited weeks for a response despite emailing more than once.

Today, I telephoned to be told that another manager would address the complaint.

Within half an hour the response was sent. He can't have addressed it can he? Met with staff, spoken to team leaders, evaluated events planning & communication. reviewed the room reservations/reception, revisited the incorrect bill with accounts….

Not wising to derail your thread but I complained to the RAC about something, and I also got a computer generated letter. Full of buzz words, but I especially liked the reply that my letter had been fully investigated. The reply to me came an hour after my letter was sent, and there was no mention of what they'd done. I gave up. Which was what they wanted,

It’s a hotel, not a GP surgery or hospital. There aren’t customer service regulations they have to obey. They’re not obligated to offer you a meeting with the manager to review everything that went wrong - that’s a bit of an OTT request.

They’re a private company. For them, the sanction for terrible customer service is poor reviews and a bad reputation, leading to a loss of business. Just leave a bad review and move on with your life.

Expecting to meet the manager to discuss a complaint about service seems over the top and you’re going to be disappointed if you go in with that expectation.
Are got sure you aren’t hyper focusing on this aspect of the funeral as a way to manage away your grief for the time being?

I’m sorry - they sound spectacularly shit.

Probably standard wording they have, or maybe AI. They should be careful to add some personalisation, as I doubt they get a huge volume of complaints which mean some standard wording or AI is essential. For example in my role, my team receive 2000 complaints per week. So there is a need for some standard lines as we get a lot of complaints around the same kind of issues. But it is essential to answer all the questions, and not just the main one for example, and ensure some personalisation. If not, we frequently receive complaints to the next tier.

Just post reviews on tripadvisor and google. Make it plain about the replies you had.

Rubbish response from them. I think you just need to do some negative reviews and make sure any friends/family in the area know about it so they can avoid the hotel in the future.

You are determined to be right. A human DID NOT WRITE THE RESPONSE, no way.

The response did not include that someone was dealing with it, that was when I spoke to them on the phone.

The response was from the manager, who after 30 minutes, had dealt with it. The response is the conclusion of the actions, not that it was going to be dealt with.

Fair enough, I can see that. In my profession a conversation is the first part of the complaints policy, before it becomes more formal.

The hotel does not have any sort of policy for me to follow.

I will be leaving a full review on TripAdvisor ( which they don't ever respond to).

The Funeral Director (company) is also aware, which will hit the recommendations.

Of course it doesn’t have a policy - it’s not a regulated institution like a bank or a GP surgery where inadequate service can have life changing consequences. There’s no Ombudsman overseeing their handling of complaints.

What you’re seeking is over the top for the issue.

Ok OP, I am writing this as a GM of a hotel. The response is poor and I wish everyone would stop focusing on the AI aspect of the email.

Anyway, they should really have investigated your complaint & then called you personally to apologise to you. Re the poor service there’s not a lot that can be done now. Generally hotels operate thousands of events every year so unless it was a huge event with a huge turnover that needed to be addressed then there wouldn’t generally be a review of services.

Meeting with the manager isn’t the norm but if your bill was incorrect it’s usually the events manager who took the booking and Accounts team who would deal with this and rectify the matter.

At this stage it’s probably best to leave a poor review and move on. You need to grieve and focus on your feelings about the loss of your mum. You have my condolences 💐

I agree. You had a bad experience, you complained, now it's time to move on. Whatever they do they can't change what happened.

When I worked in complaints we had to bespoke each letter to ensure it was personalised to each customer. I wouldn’t be happy with that sort of response either, I’d likely complain again.

I would leave brutally honest reviews on all available platforms. They had their chance to address your complaint in a respectful fashion and they didn't do so. I don't care how many thousands of events they host, if they are going to host funeral receptions they need to do it properly and they need to offer a prompt human response to complaints. Hopefully a few blistering reviews will give them a kick up the arse.

No, I am pointing out that while you believe it to be AI, you genuinely cannot be sure.

Like another poster I worked in hospitality which included hundreds of functions over the year. On the very odd occasion we did get a complaint, other than offer an apology and say we will endeavour to ensure it doesn't happen again, there is little more can be done after the event.

It reads like this is pretty much the response you go, whether AI or not.

Thank you so much for taking time to respond with your professional experience, it is really useful.

Yes, PP’s are focussed on the AI, and yet my AIBU was whether I am unreasonable to feel that an AI response was insincere and a ‘tick box exercise’.
I expected a humane response.

An AI response (which I'm absolutely convinced you're right about - they're unmistakeable) was very poor form. Given the circumstances and the occasion they should be extra understanding and human. You've been poorly treated. Even if there's no way to "fix" the problem after the event they could at least apologise properly.

Did you address the issue at the time?

If you're not seeking some form of recompense, just leave an honest review for the hotel online.

I'm not sure anyone can face doing that at a funeral. Getting through the funeral is incredibly hard.

In terms of on the day, yes, I had no choice otherwise the gathering would not have happened.

The events staff member was very ‘off hand’ with me, intimating that I should be grateful that the hotel had changed the agreed details of event. I calmly said that we were disappointed with the disarray we were faced with and would be putting in a formal complaint.

It could be that people are focussing on the AI because you won’t answer what the actual complaint was. There is also the likelihood that you are over invested in this because it was such an important occasion to you, but asking for a meeting with the manager and wanting details about how things are going to change is a huge expectation that you were never going to get.

Let it go. AI generated responses are just going to become a part of life. Sometimes those responses will be better than what a human makes up to try and sound as if they care. They aren’t going to look at their list of complaints and decide that bookings that followed funerals are more worthy of their time than bookings for anything else.

Again, it’s not a GP surgery or a financial services company. They’re not regulated. They’re not legally obligated to provide a set level of service, and responsible to an Ombudsman if they don’t. There’s really no such thing as a ‘formal complaint’ when it comes to hotels or event venues. You’re not going to get a step-by-step debrief with a manager as if this was a traumatic childbirth or something.

Leave a bad review and move on with your life.

My MIL’s 90th birthday at a local restaurant was a shambles - clearly the restaurant wasn’t equipped to handle parties of our size and should never have accepted the booking. We expressed our frustration to staff on the day, got a partial refund, and then moved on. These things happen. Dwelling doesn’t help anyone.

Very sorry for your loss OP. I would have been distraught had this happened at my mum's funeral. I see you're going to leave a review on TA, I would also leave one on Google, Facebook and anywhere else you can think of. Also let the funeral director know. The lack of compassion from the venue is truly shocking. And it's not been much better on this thread, I'm sorry to say.