AIBU about not wanting to go to my friend's hen do?

[HBot]

My friend is getting married this August and I have offered to help out with the hen do with organising it. She isn't a super close friend but part of a sports team I belong to.
Most of us are strapped for cash (me especially) so I wanted to organise a fun party where people paid an upfront amount which covered them for entertainment, food and drink. This would have been about £50 and included everything (unless they wanted to go out after!)
We have a hen do group chat where people have been very vocal about offering ideas for the party and today someone mentioned about going to a local festival for the day.
Which sounds great but it is £55 for the ticket, which doesn't include drink, food or transport. I can set myself a budget for the day but it is going to be a fair amount more than I wanted to spend.
In addition, I worry that people will just go off and do their own thing for the day, rather than hang around the bride. And we will have to pay extra if we wanted to do any hen do games.
People are more excited about doing the festival which is fine but it's made me not want to go now especially since it's not the hen do I had imagined.
Am I being unreasonable about not wanting to go or should I should just suck it up?

I'm afraid I have to say that a festival sounds like a great idea for a hen do.
If your max budget is £25 for the day then I would say happy to go with that as an option but you will need to do your own drinks and food for the day and cannot afford to be in a kitty or pay for any extras. Hopefully people will understand that.

I agree that unless the bride is specifically requesting this, the festival feels more like a day out and not a 'celebration' of the bride. Do the people who suggested it have a reason to think she'd want to attend? Or is it actually something THEY would prefer to do on that date and hence suggested it?

The bride has given you a blanket 'I don't mind', which isn't particularly helpful! If the festival is the general consensus, then I would make it be known that you simply can't afford to do it, and that someone else would need to take over the organisation. I don't think that's unfair or unreasonable. You can't pay money out, that you can't afford, it's that simple. One of my bridesmaids wanted to organise taking me to a drag night on my hen night...my other bridesmaid had to firmly tell her, that I'd hate it, as it's not my cup of tea. The other bridesmaid sulked, because the other didn't agree with her. She was politely reminded that the hen night had to be something I would enjoy, not hate!

Your overall hoped for budget is really really low. What activity were you thinking that you could get for that price plus food and drink. I went on a hen do recently (a full weekend) but one of the activities (live art drawing) was like £400. It was amazing. Food , snacks and drinks per person for that day only was at least £60. That was for a takeaway curry, nibbles throughout the day, a cocktail, Prosecco/ beers for the evening.

The festival sounds like fun.

Sorry but you are being stingy. Have you been living in the world for the past 10 years and do you have an awareness of inflation? £55 plus food/drink is absolutely nothing, assuming you have time to save for it. So many people are having week-long hens in Ibiza, this hen sounds completely affordable and considerate of all budgets. Don't be that person quibbling over a minimal amount of money unless you don't care about your relationship with the bride moving forward. I would be upset if one of my friends refused to pay such a small amount of money for a festival ticket for my hen.

Thank you for your response. Perhaps some further context would be helpful. This is the hen's 3rd hen do, the other two included a weekend in Bournemouth and an afternoon tea. She wanted an additional hen do which focussed on her friendship group, hence why everyone's budget was low. I know that some people aren't considerate of other people's finanicial commitments but the bride was really conscious that a lot of us don't have a large disposable income and so wanted it to be affordable for everyone. £55 may be 'such a small amount' to you, but for some, it's a alot, especially when it isn't a fixed amount for a hen do at a festival.
I'm really pleased for you that you're in a position to think that £55 is a 'minimal amount of money' but for some of us, it's difficult to save.
Anyway the hen do turned out amazing and the bride admitted that she would have hated to go the festival. I'm really grateful to have friends who value inclusion and shared fun over activities that might exclude someone because of cost. It means a lot to be around people who are considerate of everyone’s circumstances and I hope you find this for yourself too.

Glad it all worked out