At what age do kids start to listen?

[WeIchskq]

Ds is almost 7 but still if I ask him to do something or try and get him to get ready, I basically have to repeat myself ad nauseum till I honestly can't take it anymore. It's the half term so he could do what he wanted this morning but trying to get him ready to go out for lunch has been maddening.

So at what age do kids actually start doing what they are asked to? Like if you say, can you get ready - we need to leave in 15mins that they actually get on with it. Or if I say go and brush you teeth, they actually do it instead of finding something else to play with?

It's only the first day of the holiday and am already tired 🤣

I'd like to know this too. My 7 year old (boy) is exactly the same!

My eldest is nearly there. He is 25 though.

I either help them, or ignore them and get on with leaving no matter what state of undress they’re in. I don’t do the asking over and over again thing because as you say, they just ignore.

I am broken this morning 😭 mainly because of DD who is 3 but fucking hell. DS who is 10 is being lovely and helpful so maybe you’ve only got a couple of years to go. DS is 7 and always last to get dressed, he would stay in PJs all day happily.

About 20 if a girl. A boy who knows. Dh still hasn't reached that point yet

I can't remember this stage. Mine are older teens and are fine though I have to tell DS2 a different time from the rest of us as he's so last minute and will always cut it fine.

I think at this age maybe turn it into a race between you and him or a sibling.

Ha ha
I wonder if this was a trick question.

I have a child with SEN so know more about this than I would rather. There is different parts to this, can they hear it, can they process the info (are there too many steps), is theor short term memory OK and do they have too much other stuff going on (stress or visual distraction) and final do they give a fuck about what you’re telling them, so ice cream = yes, getting ready to go out for the ice cream = no.

😂
My eldest is almost 16...

I have 2 kids, ds 11 and dd 5, and I'm still waiting.

I also can't understand how they can't just do the same bloody thing every morning to get to school. Same routine every morning, breakfast, brush teeth, wash, get dressed, shoes on, get out the house in the space of 1 hour and 10 minutes. It's not rocket science but every morning it chaos! Why??? How???? They do the same bloody thing every day!!! How is it difficult??? I could cry!!

Yeah, ok so am not the only one. I just really didn't expect this to still be an issue age 7. Everyone says primary school age is the blissful one but it's totally maddening. I do love him and I don't want to be the mad mum but it takes a lot 9f effort not to lose it. Only the rest of the week to go.

I don't think it's related to age. My DS was far better at it when he was at primary school than he is now at 17. My DD has always been able to absorb and follow instructions.

Boys tend not to listen my daughter is very sensible but my son hardly listens. I think they don't until they get older.

I'd like to say 21 but DP's son still doesn't.

DS is almost 7 and is almost certainly autistic (on the pathway, sendco says she can't see a world where he isn't diagnosed) and cannot listen for toffee. I hope he improves as he gets older, I hate being a nag but he's just incapable right now

Must be about 35? With 4 DD between 29 and 34 we haven't found it happen often yet

I have wondered whether Ds is autistic or has ADHD - have a meeting set up with his SENCO. Not sure whether this is a feature of it or just having kids.

Mines almost 16 and we’re about 75% there!

He really struggled as a kid especially with focus and getting ready in the mornings. In later primary school / early secondary school I made him a list of what he needed to do to get ready of a morning & the order to do it in, I printed it off and laminated it & put it up on his wall with a whiteboard marker so he could check it and tick it off as he went. I found it definitely helped and made a difference.

My eldest has ADHD. I can remember at one time giving them a list to tick off every morning - eg get dressed, eat breakfast etc. They liked having control of the list, I assume. I remember recommending it to another mum in the playground, so it must have been somewhat effective.

But in general they've always been inclined to do things their way, rather than going along with what others do or want - now 24.

Yes! All of this! I have nearly asked MN this same question too.

Eldest is 17, almost 18, so I am still waiting 🙄😂

You could try the book ‘How to talk so that kids listen’.

Depends on what you ask!
"Who wants cake?" gets answered really quickly, and kids turn up promptly in the kitchen.
"Who needs to do some homework?" gets ignored!

I can’t honestly say I listen to my parents now.
they have a lot of opinions!

I’m in my 40’s

Can confirm it is not 8.

They listen from the moment they’re born but you need to take the lead with tone, body language and consequences.

It’s no good keep ‘telling’ them. When they were little, you needed to have modelled and taken them by the hand and showed them. As language develops, you set out expectations and you follow through with consequences if they don’t meet those expectations. And you do it all in a Mary Poppins cheery tone so it feels like a democracy even though it’s a dictatorship.

I'm afraid if you haven’t done this by 7, no amount of keep barking the same orders is going change anything. Try less verbal instruction and more setting out what you expect. Then praise when they try or even follow through and disappointed face for when they don’t.