This is insane and I have no idea what to do. Please bare with me as I am trying to type the situation into words and cover all bases whilst trying to make it make sense.
I broke up with my daughters father when she was one.
She is 17 now.
He is from up North and we met whilst he was down in London staying in digs for the week working for a construction company and then he would go home on weekends. He didn't speak to his parents as he said they were abusive to him growing up. I am not sure they even know DD exists. He obviously moved in with me we were together for two years then I became pregnant and he started being abusive, told me I should start dressing like a mum, wouldn't let me go back to work, going out to the pub and attacking me on his return home, saying my friends were all party girls and I shouldn't be around them anymore etc...
Police were called multiple times by neighbours and my friends but unfortunately back then at my young age I did not press charges as I was terrified of him. He was given the option to have supervised visits with DD and chose not to. DD has not seen him since. I just let him slip off as I think it was a better option anyway. My family let me move back in with them for a while whilst I had therapy and recovered from the relationship. I went back to work and moved back out and am now remarried for the last 12 years and all sorted really...we have a very happy life, husband took my daughter on as his own etc and we had another DC. We have never heard from him again. DD has seen pictures of her dad that I had and we have when she was old enough been quite open with her about the situation as naturally she has asked on multiple occasions growing up. We did this with advice from social services and she had some counselling for it (she was more curious than bothered, but we thought this was the correct way to deal with it).
Anyway long story short. My DD has started college...she is at a well renowned performing arts college so obviously kids come from all over to attend. She has made tons of friends and has a lovely group of girls who she has formed a group with. They all had a day out in London last week just mooching around etc and by 12pm she asked if she could go back to one of the other girls houses as they were freezing and she lived nearby. I asked for the address and the mums number, called the mum, the mum Whatsappe'd me address etc as she was over the other side of London. I got the WhatsApp and like you do I clicked on the profile picture to see what kind of person the mum looked only to be met with a selfie of her and my DD dad.
I lied to her and said we had a family emergency and I had to pick her up (thank the lord he was at work, not that he would have recognised her anyway). I left work and speed drove to the house in about 45 minutes and picked her up down the road.
I showed her after.
What do I do? Her dad is her friends step dad, she's just found out she has a step sister and two younger brothers. I can't believe it. Of all the people she could have met she's met this girl 17 years down the line.
The mum (who seems lovely) has WhatsAppe'd me after my DD left and said she said she had a family emergency and hopes we are ok and if that ever happens again my DD is welcome to stay there. I don't even know what to reply.
My daughter is talking to her friend as normal but I have ZERO idea on how to handle this.
I don't know if anyone including his new wife even knows my DD exists. It's mental.