Black sheep ...

[ChirpyRedMoose]

Long story short .. it was my niece A birthday ...that morning I was on a normal call with her mother catching up as it had been a few weeks, chatting as we do house work nothing serious , prior to the call txts we're exchanged between us , 1 being me confirming my nieces birthday was that day , she replied yes , after this she then calls back via video and we start nattering away. I wish my niece hBD as she's in the background. ..

10-15 mins into the call , niece A hands her mum a phone which is on speaker to another family member another niece B of mine from another sibling who called to wish HBD and confirm what time they needed to be at the restaurant later that day. The mother confirms ends that call .. and with a smirk as u could imagine then says to me who's still on video "ooh do u want to come to dinner" to which I reply "No" and she responds ooh short notice u don't want to come.
We live about 20 mins from each other , everyone else that lives in my area was invited but myself and my children not .
Now I have a issue this week as my niece C is hosting a party for her child to which i recieved a whatsapp invite months ago and i would always attend. so they will all be attending this 1. Is it petty if I don't?

Why should niece A's failure to invite you have any bearing on whether you go to niece C's party? Niece C. presumably had nothing to do with niece A's guest list.

If I'm understanding this right...

• didn't get invited to Niece A's diner until last minute ...so absolutely decline . I would have too.
• Another niece ,C, is having a birthday event but you were invited. ..yes, go along. Fuck the rest of them .

If you have to distance, then he strategic . Smile and be super lovely to this part of family.

I agree ... there is a lot I left out here . niece C lives closer with 2 others. So any gatherings we would usually come together and discuss beforehand , travel or arrival times for fam events out of town . So everyone was obviously aware to keep quiet on this occasion. The usually snappers failed to snap I just find it a Little sus.

Ok , niece A is my brothers kid, so her mum my ex sister inlaw was who I was talking with

Niece C is My sisters adult daughter who's having a party. So my sis and her 2 daughters niece C & B that went to the last 1 but didnt tell me , If that makes anymore sense ... that why I'm on the edge about it.

Complicating 😕

I don’t understand the issue with attending the party later this week. Is it that you feel the organisers of that party should have told you about the other restaurant meal? But why would they get in touch about sharing lifts if they knew you weren’t invited?

Perhaps niece A is closer to those who were invited?

As you didn't even know it was her birthday (hence having to get it confirmed), I'm assuming you're not the closest?

No same relationship , I knew it was her birthday.. basically just making convo

Not really about sharing lifts .. we would be leaving from the same town , as we always have done contact each other as a group of women. But if they knew I wasn't invited makes sense

Ok , niece A is my brothers kid, so her mum my ex sister inlaw

Well... that's why. There will be some form of background power play or punishment going on here that you don't know about.

Go to your sister's children's party, but also take a step back from X SIL - she doesn't consider you close family any more.

I still don’t understand, though. Why would they have been in contact with you about the meal if you weren’t going, whether you were car-sharing or for some other reason??

how did they know I wasn't going ?