AIBU to be annoyed at in laws for implying because I’m a mum I can’t be anything else?

[Reinventingmyselfxo]

Hi I was telling in laws about my new job and she implied that I was leaving all the childcare to hubby (which I’m not) to do and because he needs to be able to do his job and fitness. Yes I agree but the mums have to have their thing too. It was like well I can’t do this and that because I’m a mum. AIBU to be annoyed

His job and fitness?

This is like asking if what is wet.

I'd be annoyed to! But a lot of mil are sadly like this !

She thinks what she thinks, and you think what you think. No need to get annoyed unless she tries to stop you doing what you're doing. People are entitled to have different opinions.

Don’t rise to it

Yes he works and does fitness. We work around everything and have help

Best response to uncalled for statements "what a bizzare/odd thing to say", slight pause and then immediately change the topic. Usually leaves the person flabbergasted that you've not responded reactively as they hoped. Works in many situations

Thanks for all the nice comments I just feel so belittled maybe I need to stop being so sensitive

No, she's unreasonable. Just ignore her.

we will be modeling an egalitarian marriage for our child.

what angers me the most is that I was held back my whole life from being who I wanted to be. Maybe I’m just bitter

Oh they would hate me then.
I work FT, am in a running club (with DH) a choir and I an active in my church.
Weirdly enough, we work round it. Take turns, are organized and everyone is happy.
I said before we had children that I would never be the default parent. He never expected me to be.

You're not too sensitive.

Sometimes people come out with opinions that are absolutely gobsmacking, and you suddenly see that their minds work in a way that is completely the opposite of the way you think and see things.

You and your H have figured out what works for your family. The ILs' attempt to make you feel guilty for working and being ambitious is completely unacceptable. Throwing cold water on the news of your new job is beyond rude - it's shocking in this day and age that anyone would feel that way about women's careers/ family life/ prioritizing men.

Would your husband be willing to tell them off? Would he be willing to tell them he's disappointed they couldn't be happy for your new job, that he and you have your domestic arrangements and work/ life balance sorted to your (plural) satisfaction, and that he found their comments rude?

I'd give them the old cold shoulder for a while though. People like that don't respect you fully.

No, you're not bitter either.

They touched a nerve and their opinions are echoes of what held you back.

Well done on your new role!!!!!

Get yourself something nice to celebrate.

Distance yourself from the ILs. They're not your friends.

Don’t ignore it, pull her up on it. One of the reasons people say stupid things like this is because it’s ignored so they continue to say it. My MIL thinks my role in life is to facilitate DH. But she’s a twat.

I can't see the point in giving people the cold shoulder or distancing yourself. The chances are that she won't know why you're doing it, and anyway it's very passive aggressive. If you can't accept that she just thinks differently from you, you could tell her that you feel disrespected, or get your husband to do it. It doesn't matter what she thinks, though. You and your husband are happy with the way you're doing things, and it is perfectly normal these days, so MIL's thoughts on the matter are irrelevant.

What century did this conversation take place in?