To not understand downsizing as a means to release cash?

[Shinynose]

I live in a 4 bed detached house and now DC are adults it's too big and requires too much maintenance, so that's a good reason to downsize.

However, people often talk of downsizing as a way to fund their retirement or help DC with house purchases of their own. I can't make the maths work.

My house is worth about £500k, a not insignificant sum. It's in The South East but in a cheaper part, in the slightly nicer part of a not that nice town.

This "nice" bit doesn't really have smaller houses, for something smaller it would have to be a bungalow, which would cost about the same, possibly more than my current house.

I could move back to where my first house was, a 3 bed terraced ex council house, but that would cost £350k and after costs would raise maybe £100k (?), a lot of money but not a lot to live on for very long, and a significant reduction in quality of life.

Is this kind of downsizing only for people who live in very expensive areas and who are prepared to move a long way from home? Or am I missing something?

On the subject of retirement flats I think it's such a shame that the majority don't allow a pet. DM should have probably moved to one but there's no way she would have gone without her cat. Even when she was dying in hospital she was worrying about George. My Uncle and Aunt had a very elderly cat and they actually smuggled him in for his last few months.

To me the answer is a retirement village with small one or two bedroom bungalows or maisonettes and some with small private gardens. For someone like my DM leaving her cat and garden behind was unthinkable and I'm sure she's not the only one.

Something else to consider before downsizing to "whatever you can get that makes the budget work". My grandmother is in a nursing home (not really poorly just not steady on her feet and can't see very well). The fees are £1500 a week. For two of you, that would be £12,000 a month.
If when you reach the point where you can no longer live independently you have a home with a good sized spare bedroom you can hire a live in carer for a lot less than £12k a month.