To think the Ofsted inspector who blames WFH parents for low attendance is probably just resentful?

[JandamiHash]

The Chief Inspector of Ofsted is blaming parents who WFH for the demise of school attendance https://www.itv.com/news/2025-02-16/parents-working-from-home-makes-children-feel-school-is-optional-ofsted-head?fbclid=IwZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAAR0ULgukQnTsabNTlcJRBI4kVQsMYkhCPK_KA4lUAgVkxOocYfo3onmRNHU_aem_nuBknA_QEGgfA93CaTPagg. Apparently none of us want to take our slippers off so we let our kids stay at home while we work.

He makes some REALLY weird points like his overworked dad he didn’t see much as his inspiration to go to school. And also MPs making sure they spend weekends with their families is a bad work ethic.

I know MN is a good example of whenever WFH threads are brought up, non-WFHers come on dripping with resentment over WFH and implying WFHers don’t really work. AIBU to think this man - who has somehow been knighted - is basically doing that? I’m not sure how much inspecting he does now, but Ofsted inspectors aren’t any superior or harder working just because they spend a few days working away from home at a time (something BTW I’m expected to do, at least 1 overnight a month).

Also as someone from a household where 2 of us WFH, I can’t think of anything worse than having kids flapping around us while we try and work. I’m FT, and this week I’m off Weds-Fri, as is DH. my DD11 will be at home tomorrow with strict instructions to keep away unless there’s a serious emergency (she’s secondary and old enough to take care of herself) and at a friend’s on Tuesday. My DS is 8 and is going into a holiday club tomorrow and Tuesday as his neediness is unbearable. Both have somewhere between 97 and 99% attendance so far this academic year.

YABU - “He’s got a point”
YANBU - “He’s wrong/resentful”

YABU based on what we see in our school. We have a significant number of children who know full well that their parents are 'at home', even if they are working, and will pull every trick in the book to try to get sent home. Some will refuse to leave the house in the morning. And parents will frequently cave, call them in sick, and keep them home because they can't deal with the hassle and need to start 'working'.

We also have a lot more parents who view school as 'optional' when they want to holiday, have long weekends, etc, because 'covid school closures' and 'strike days'. It's ridiculous.

I havent read the actual article so it may well differ to your link to ITV

I agree with the comments he has made that are printed in the link

We have an anti education culture and narrative in the UK. We have a 'whats the least I can get away with' work culture. We have a work culture which is 'Im not being paid much so Im not doing much'. We have a 'too cool for school' attitude

Many school refusers have an anxiety that they are missing out on something at home, school refusals are higher in households where a parent is at home, WFH would fall under that category

The social contract fr school attendance was broken during covid and I dont think we'll ever get it back.

But there’s a bit of a contradiction in your post - these children you say are IN school and pushing to be sent home because their parent is at home. Meaning their WFH parent hasn’t kept them off.

And I honestly thing back in the day parents would just call in sick when their child was off sick or use a personal day. I have certainly worked in an office where people persistently called in last minute to take the day off because of a sick child (and had to exercise this right myself now and again)

That is definitely a thing that happened!

@JandamiHash I don't care at all about ofsted or attendance figures. But I do care about mental health. I care about the MH of the kids that aren't able to attend school and I don't believe that long periods out of school are good for children's long term mental health. It generally means they are less likely to gain qualifications, less likely to feel able to get a job, less likely to form friendships. It is not in the interests of these young people to stay home all day with their parents who are WFH.
But how do we change this?
Schools are battling parents unnecessarily, but there needs to be compassion there. And solutions!
I'm not convinced that EHCP's are the solution to EBSA either. EBSA is a mental health issue, although some school adjustments are beneficial, I have yet to see an EHCP massively reduce school anxiety.
If I wasn't able to go to work due to anxiety, adjustments at work might help, but maybe I still would struggle to serve customers all day.
We would look to MH services to develop coping strategies, distress tolerance, some understanding around their learning styles. Education about emotions and habits to help MH, such as the importance of sleep, diet, staying off SM, exercise, talking therapies etc or DBT for neurodivergent children.
Trouble is, CAHMs are hugely understaffed and you have to be a huge risk to yourself or others to get through the door. There should be MH support specially for EBSA.
I hate to mention this too, but tech is also massively addictive and designed to be so. Especially for ND children like mine. The reason school is so soul crushingly dull and doesn't validate them or interest them is that they are used to huge flashing images of their special interest of the week or the endorphins of gaming. We all would.

It is a perfectly reasonable viewpoint and he is not at all being inflammatory in how he says it.

If children see parents at home all day, that becomes their norm and they want to be part of it. I work at home one day a week - I never talk about it to our DC, I am up, showered and dressed at 7am as usual and getting them out to school DS2 asks me almost every week at breakfast 'Mummy can I stay at home with you today?' The answer is 'No, you go to school every day and I will be very busy working all day.' He never makes a fuss and goes off quite happily but it's clearly in his head.

Secondary school children in particular are vulnerable to this because they get to the point where they know they can just say no and often get their own way. . Many, many parents just give in- it's not worth the fight to them if their 14 year old is lying in bed all morning or making cups of tea and quietly watching tv. They are parents who give in over lots of things and this is one of them.

I don’t know where you live in the UK but this isn’t my experience of our culture at all

Also a parent at home can mean a parent who doesn’t have a job

In my experience there are a great number of different reasons for absence. Anecdotally, I have experienced parents (mostly non-working, rather than WFH, and particularly abrasive sorts)telling their kids they don’t need to bother to go to school. The social contract that existed between parents and schools was broken by lockdowns and then when we subsequently went on strike because of poor pay and conditions. A certain sort of parent decided this meant they didn’t have to send their kid in because apparently teachers can’t be bothered to go in.

Personally, I think it’s time this lot got over it - Covid was 5 years ago, your kids need to be educated and also to learn the self-discipline of getting up, getting ready and being somewhere on time.

It's certainly my experience- I am a School Improvement Advisor for a local authority and behaviour and attendance are in my job description. In every school, there are increasing numbers of parents with this attitude - more in some areas of the local authority than in others but they exist in numbers in every school.

Correct about it being or could be a parent who doesnt have a job. Difference to years ago is that parents who were stay at home parents, got up, got ready, ran to a routine of school attendance

When you say 'our culture', who are you talking about? Im talking about the UK in general. There are pockets and different demographics who are very pro school and education, Asian families for one, there are many others

But generally speaking as a nation, we are poorly educated and dont value or use education to our advantage. We have a poor work ethic as shown by the huge numbers of economically inactive people we have

I didn’t see this before posting. I agree with much of this.

The bit about the social contract from before covid having gone is completely right. The levels of parental alienation are much higher too.

I work from home and my kids hate being home when I'm working because it's boring. I know from other parents their children feel similarly.

Thank you for replying to clarify, My honest opinion, however, is that we can’t keep blaming Covid for this. Most of those in primary school now would have been very small five years ago and many were not even at school during lockdown.

I think parents WFU is a small part of the picture but more the change in attitudes since lockdown and also the increase in anxiety.

Could anyone who works in a secondary school explain how schools have changed in the past 20-30 years? I can think of quite a few (probably undiagnosed) ND children from when I was at school but they all seemed to attend. How is it so much worse for them now?

YABU to suggest people who don’t work from home are ‘dripping with resentment.’ In my experience there are many people who use working from home as an excuse to be lazy in their work and to not pay for childcare - not everyone, but a lot. I’m not resentful; I’m frustrated!

I occasionally work in schools as an exam invigilator and obviously I work when times are stressful for pupils, teachers and parents. I've been doing this for 20 years and this year will be my last.

Every so often there's a GCSE year that's immature and requires more supervision than others. It's a norm.

This year's intake is slightly more immature than other years, based on the recent mock exams. Teachers are great though and understand completely.

A Level students have always needed extra care because they have so much riding on the exams they do.

Schools are starting to becoming too controlling and intrusive. They are emailing and texting about something every day. Dealing with the admin of being a parent of a primary aged child is like having another job.

School never used to be like this where they overreach into non problematic families lives. Now you have inspectors suggesting WFH is wrong because it’s easier for a parent to keep their sick child home. They need to stay out of grown adults business.

If my child is genuinely sick they are staying at home. I’m not explaining myself to anyone.

I think the same. When I was a sahm my kids stayed home with any little poorlyness! Now I’m not at home and need to be at work it’s exactly like you said. Calpol and do your best.

Funnily working in a school with the kids and poor attendance, their parents don’t work or are at home.

People need child care to wfh. My dd is almost 16. I have WFH her entire life. I would get dressed, drive her to nursery, and then go back to my home office to work.

during the summer we paid for camps.

I can’t believe you did this

Are you all right?

Exactly this. It’s far easier to manage sickness when WFH. Years ago in our office it used to go down like a turd in a swimming pool when a parent had a phone call and then had to dash off and collect the child. Then they were at home doing bugger all whilst looking after said sick child as no one was equipped to WFH. Now parents wouldn’t even mention to their colleagues they had a child off sick and at home.

There must be a load of parents that think, oh fuck it, I’ll keep them off today as I’m WFH and can’t be arsed to do the school run. Loads. Not everyone is conscientious and thinks I don’t want to be distracted. Never done it myself but bet loads do. Especially last days of terms. So this man probably does have a point.

Well my kids know me and DH both WFH - DH has done for about 15 years now - and never assume it means they can stay off too. They chance it now and again when they obviously CBA going in but I think every child does.

You’re talking specifically about your children, which is understandable, but this doesn’t mean it applies to every child who has a parent at home.

It is possible to acknowledge there’s been a cultural shift in this respect and consider how best to address it without insisting everyone returns to the office.

I agree. I too get bored of the argument that it’s ok to take a child to Euro Disney for 2 weeks in June because some teachers went on strikes a few years ago. Just say “It’s because we want to and want it cheap”.

One of my favourite times of year is September when you’re guaranteed a flurry of Daily Mail Sad Face article where someone’s child has been given a uniform violation because as it turns out they have to wear trousers, not ultra tight leggings, and the teachers don’t especially want to see a female pupil’s arse cheeks. Can we put these annoying parents in the “get over it” category too?