Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Belated birthday cards...!

7 replies

SassK · 16/02/2025 10:38

To think it's irritating that an immediate family member, who has known you all your life, habitually forgets your birthday? And turns up days later - giggling 'what am I like' - with a card?
I'm not even that fussed about cards on my birthday - so once my birthday is over, I definitely don't want any (and I feel obliged to display the bloody thing, when I've just cleared the others away. For what purpose - a reminder they forgot again? 🤷‍♀️🤦‍♀️😂).

I just cba, if you forget you forget, I'd honestly rather they didn't bother...???

OP posts:
DisplayPurposesOnly · 16/02/2025 10:54

If it's more than a week past my birthday, I just bin the card when they've left, as I only display cards for a week.

I'm not bothered if someone is a bit late once in awhile. Late every time is just annoying and like you I'd rather they didn't bother. A text would be fine, or even 'Did you have a good birthday [three weeks ago]?' would be better.

Takersgonnatake · 16/02/2025 11:01

I dislike cards, they’re just so much clutter. The only purpose to them imo is to show someone that you care about them, to the extent that you thought ahead, planned, bought, wrote and delivered them by the actual birthday. So any delivered later than the actual day will skip the mantelpiece and go straight to the recycling bin in my house. I mean really, what’s the point?

Original poster
SassK · 16/02/2025 11:09

DisplayPurposesOnly · 16/02/2025 10:54

If it's more than a week past my birthday, I just bin the card when they've left, as I only display cards for a week.

I'm not bothered if someone is a bit late once in awhile. Late every time is just annoying and like you I'd rather they didn't bother. A text would be fine, or even 'Did you have a good birthday [three weeks ago]?' would be better.

This is an older, close, relation (not in the least dotty though) who never forgets anyone else's birthday. I'm expecting them to turn up in the next day or so with the days late card, and I just want to say to them not to bother in future - if you forget, you forget 🤷‍♀️

OP posts:
NebulousDogBollocking · 16/02/2025 11:16

and I feel obliged to display the bloody thing, when I've just cleared the others away. For what purpose - a reminder they forgot again?

This is an older, close, relation (not in the least dotty though) who never forgets anyone else's birthday.

The cynic in me thinks this sounds like they want their card to be the only one on display to remind you how low you are on their list of importance.
What's the rest of your relationship like?

You could, if you dare, smile widely, thank them profusely then put it straight into the recycling in front of them. How do you think that would work out, for you?

Original poster
SassK · 16/02/2025 11:17

Takersgonnatake · 16/02/2025 11:01

I dislike cards, they’re just so much clutter. The only purpose to them imo is to show someone that you care about them, to the extent that you thought ahead, planned, bought, wrote and delivered them by the actual birthday. So any delivered later than the actual day will skip the mantelpiece and go straight to the recycling bin in my house. I mean really, what’s the point?

These are my thoughts too.

My husband and daughter said just do the usual smile and accept her card, but I'm pissed off with it now. I'm going to tell her if she forgets in future, not to waste money on a card a week later.

OP posts:
Original poster
SassK · 16/02/2025 11:24

NebulousDogBollocking · 16/02/2025 11:16

and I feel obliged to display the bloody thing, when I've just cleared the others away. For what purpose - a reminder they forgot again?

This is an older, close, relation (not in the least dotty though) who never forgets anyone else's birthday.

The cynic in me thinks this sounds like they want their card to be the only one on display to remind you how low you are on their list of importance.
What's the rest of your relationship like?

You could, if you dare, smile widely, thank them profusely then put it straight into the recycling in front of them. How do you think that would work out, for you?

This is perceptive, because I have an inkling she's doing it deliberately now...
My relationship with her is that she holds me to a higher standard than her other children and children in law, and has come to (without limit!) expect/take over the years; she's someone who's good at looking out, but never in.

OP posts:
NebulousDogBollocking · 16/02/2025 11:47

That doesn't sound like the easiest relationship @SassK . At least you can see the gist of it, stay a step away and not react accordingly Flowers

New posts on this thread. Refresh page