How do you know if you're depressed?

[agathatrunch]

I go through phases of low mood. I always put it down to hormones and my cycle. Life has been tough lately and I feel down a lot but in a more intense way. Like the thought of doing things seems overwhelming to me - like going out with friends or the other day I pulled into Asda car park and just thought 'how am I going to do this shop.' I just felt totally drained and hopeless at the thought of this very normal task.

I feel tired and headachey a lot. I get bursts of anxiety that make me wretch and panic. I overthink a lot. For example I've had a bit of toothache and am constantly panicking that I'm going to need to pay a fortune to get it extracted, that sort of thing.

I go to work, clean my house, shower and keep clean. Look after my kids. I function. I just feel shit. And I'm ashamed to say the only thing that seems to level me out if a glass of wine on an evening which I know is a depressive in itself.

I took citalopram for anxiety years ago and really didn't like how it made me feel so if I can avoid anti depressants I will. I know all about the doctors questionnaire though and I don't even think I'd qualify at this point.

Does this sound like depression and if so how have you improved it yourself?

It's hard to tell online. It could be chronic stress rather than depression. Can you afford to see a counsellor?

personally i dont, or if i feel it i dont class it as depression, although ill admit im aiming or aim to keep my emotions steady rather than highs and lows, so it keeps them average, sometimes i get frustrated etc but i try to think it through and over analysis what ever it is, to try to understand or at least give my perspective on the issue etc

Hi OP. Long term on and off depressed person here! I think I've become quite savvy over the years at distinguishing between feeling 'a bit shit' and recognising when I need help with my mental health. That said, I still mess it up sometimes.

For me, the alarm bells ring when I notice that I've lost hope. When I feel like things will never get better, there's no point trying, and I'm paralysed by the pointlessness of it all. This is different to when I feel, for example, like stuff is really hard and I don't know what to do. The latter sucks, but i can usually get through it with better self care, support from loved ones, and few days of annual leave. The former, for me, is ring the doctor territory. It also takes a while to notice, which is another sign, and quite annoying!

That state of hopelessness can look different for different people. I can feel like that on the inside and still function on the outside. For a while. For me, I feel like I'm going through the motions and absolutely nothing gives me any joy, but I can muster myself to get out of bed and go to work (and then sit at my desk for 20 minutes hikding back tears wondering what the fucking point of it all is when I'm only going to fail anyway). Ultimately, if left unchecked, I end up in a mental health crisis that leads to extended time off, unhealthy and unhelpful behaviours, job loss, not being able to look after my family etc. But that has only happened when I've failed to spot the earlier signs.

The other tell tale for me is feeling detached, like I'm observing the world and not participating in it. It's almost visceral, like i'm begind a glass wall.

What I'm trying to say is pay attention to your inner voice and take action early if you need to. Being clinically depressed doesn't always look like sitting at home in a catatonic state and a stained jumper crying all the time. Know yourself, advocate for yourself, and take action before it becomes disabling.

If you have a good GP, a frank chat with them can't hurt. Even if it just helps to sort your own opinions on where you are and what you need.

Good luck OP.

I would define depression as being disinterested in things that previously were enjoyable; having low energy, a small appetite, negative, intrusive thoughts swirling in the mind for the best part of any given day and not being able to see the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel. It can involve being overly emotional or feeling emotionally numb. It can involve not being able to sleep for more than a few hours a night or sleeping for 10 hours or more.

How to cure it?

• Have a Gratitude Attitude. Appreciate the little things: the birds singing or the sound of waves crashing against a sea wall. And the bigger things: having a roof over my head, food in the fridge, being in reasonably good health etc
• Praying. I'm not a religious person, I'm broadly Church of England but I don't attend church. However, I do believe in God. I asked God to help me with the intrusive thoughts and flashbacks I was having at the time. One day, not long after, they stopped and they haven't returned.
• I stopped being a people-pleaser and learnt the art of nicely but assertively saying 'no'.
• I started listening to my body more. If I felt tired, I would have a nap, sometimes a long nap and not feel guilty about it.
• I distanced myself from energy vampires because negative people are so draining.
• I stopped worrying about things as much and started telling myself I would cope whatever the outcome.
• I started eating healthier food - smoothies and high protein food in particular
• I made exercise a daily priority
• I started a daily journal to focus my thoughts and express them

There are so many things we can do to lift ourselves out of depression and low mood.

I hope you find what works best for you.

Thank you for these comments. I really have felt like I hit a brick wall this last week. I desperately wanted a quiet weekend but then I got restless and bored from being at home. Dh and I have no help with our dc so it's not like I can just pop out for a walk or whatever when the mood takes me. I know this sort of thing would make me feel better. But the stress of getting everyone ready and dealing with moaning kids makes it feel not worth the effort.

I'm hoping it's just a general blip in a rough spell of life. Young kids, work pressures, a few health issues and family drama - a perfect storm for mental health problems I suppose.

I've just never experienced such a feeling of apathy and can't be bothered attitude. Everything has felt too much effort and too overwhelming to deal with.

I need to cut back on alcohol and prioritise a healthier lifestyle with diet and exercise. Again, sometimes it's the thought of making changes that feels too much but I'm sure if I did it would help improve things.