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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think having people live above you is awful

109 replies

2025ohdear · 15/02/2025 21:07

I'm hoping people say IABU and I'm overthinking

I live in London and every place I've lived there have been noisy people living above me. Music, heavy footsteps on wooden floors, parties. I think I'm now tuned into it and overly sensitive.

Here is my dilemma. I have the opportunity to buy a flat. It's beautiful, in a nice area, walk-in condition but it's on the ground floor. It has a main door and access to small private garden. An absolute find. I can't afford a house and only going for top floor flats is limiting.

Any advice? Anyone got people above them and all fine?

OP posts:
Zanatdy · 15/02/2025 21:10

I have people above me and no issues. They are elderly, in their 80’s. Sometimes a bang like something has dropped. A garden flat is a great find. I am personally moving out of London next year when my youngest heads to uni and buying a house. I have lived in a flat for 2yrs and genuinely enjoy living here. It’s a block of 18 flats and no issues at all here which is fortunate. That could all change I guess.

BatchCookBabe · 15/02/2025 21:12

I would never buy a flat with someone above me sorry @2025ohdear

That's just me though. You could have someone noisy underneath and be miserable, but someone noisy above would be worse IMO.

Nothitrockbottomyet · 15/02/2025 21:15

Well I've lived in a couple of cottage flats and had upstairs neighbours. And they haven't been great experiences and we did get water ingress at both homes at one time or another from our upstairs neighbours.

It was because of past experience that when I bought my current home I bought an end terrace house. And the noise I get from my neighbours next door - often after midnight- is horrendous. They are neighbours from hell actually.

So tbh you can end up with neighbour problems in various types of housing. Although I assume detached is the best bet. But I can't afford a detached house.

If the flat you've found is perfect other wise I would probably risk it.

PersephoneSmith · 15/02/2025 21:15

I’ve got noisy fuckers above me who hate each other and regularly try to kill each other. Everyone (especially me) would be happier if he just moved out. It can’t be pleasant for anyone living like that.
So, no, not all fine.

Simonjt · 15/02/2025 21:16

It depends on the building, I didn’t live in a house until I was 35, I only had one flat where the upstairs were noisy, but that was a poorly converted house so there wasn’t any sound proofing between the two flats.

it helps if you can copy the layout, so bedroom below bedroom etc

FoxtonFoxton · 15/02/2025 21:22

It really depends on build quality and the actual neighbour set up (i.e kids, regular party animal, tap dancer).
If the flat is perfect in every other way and well priced you could invest in proper soundproofing for the ceiling.

Original poster
2025ohdear · 15/02/2025 21:24

FoxtonFoxton · 15/02/2025 21:22

It really depends on build quality and the actual neighbour set up (i.e kids, regular party animal, tap dancer).
If the flat is perfect in every other way and well priced you could invest in proper soundproofing for the ceiling.

Oh yes, that might be an option.

It's a Victorian house and I have the lower part if I buy it.

OP posts:
Anniesgal · 15/02/2025 21:26

I live in a Victorian house conversion. Walls seem to be thick with great natural soundproofing. Only a single neighbour above but no noise heard, and that's with hard floors

LlamaDharma · 15/02/2025 21:28

I'm in an old converted house. I live downstairs and have a family above with a small child. They could be far noisier than they are and I always worry that if they move out it could be far worse but I live in a lovely part of London with my own secluded garden. I'd buy it in a heartbeat if I had the chance. I've been in places with noisy people below me and hated it but I love where I am now. Should they even have wooden floors in an upstairs flat?

Original poster
2025ohdear · 15/02/2025 21:28

Anniesgal · 15/02/2025 21:26

I live in a Victorian house conversion. Walls seem to be thick with great natural soundproofing. Only a single neighbour above but no noise heard, and that's with hard floors

Oh thank you. I'm just clinging to hope as it's such a great flat

OP posts:
FoxtonFoxton · 15/02/2025 21:28

2025ohdear · 15/02/2025 21:24

Oh yes, that might be an option.

It's a Victorian house and I have the lower part if I buy it.

Show quote history

It really does work if done properly. We've done it (not a flat but an ancient cottage with a crappy floor upstairs) and it's a massive improvement. Not cheap, but if its your home and you've got yourself a good deal, I'd seriously consider it. Sounds like a great flat!

Iheartmysmart · 15/02/2025 21:29

I’m an upstairs neighbour and like to think that I’m pretty considerate. No shoes indoors, lots of rugs on the wooden floor, I don’t play loud music or have the volume on my tv on too high. If I need to do something noisy like move furniture then I text my neighbour and let him know first. The washing machine doesn’t go on until late morning. Basic good manners.

My previous downstairs neighbours would come back from the pub absolutely plastered, put music on really loud until 3-4am, smoke in the entrance hall and have endless screaming matches so it doesn’t always follow that a downstairs flat is noisier.

RIPVPROG · 15/02/2025 21:31

The first place I owned was a ground floor flat, new build, only one upstairs neighbour, the other flat was above the bin sheds and one next door to me. They were either very well soundproofed or I was lucky, I had no issues with noise. Having said that I used to sleep very soundly before I had DC! I am a very light sleeper now. We live in a house now and sometimes the foxes wake me up even with earplugs.

IME conversions are noisier than purpose built, but with neighbours it's luck of the draw

gereders · 15/02/2025 21:36

Most of my life I've lived in flats with people above me, and I haven't found it a problem at all. We had a young family above us and we lived there for ten years, they ran around a lot and dropped toys but it didn't bother me at all. I think certain people are sensitive to it and can't cope with it though. Maybe it's because I grew up in a flat so I've always been used to it. Most of the flats have been in apartment blocks with concrete floors, which is better than house conversions I think. I live in a Victorian house now and I can really hear my dcs when they run around upstairs in a way I never could in a block of flats.

Ladyof2025 · 15/02/2025 21:39

Op your post really made me think back to over my life. I grew up in a ground floor council flat and I don't remember ever hearing the neighbours above us. Then I moved into a purpose-built block, again I don't remember ever hearing the neighbours above us there either.

The first property I bought of my own was a ground floor flat with a flat above it. Again I don't recall ever hearing a single thing. Maybe it's because they were all purpose built and yours is a conversion?

Fencehedge · 15/02/2025 21:46

I'm sorry, no. Why would you pay good money to be tortured? Unless the flats are purpose built with excellent soundproofing to music studio standard, there's no way I'd do this.

JenniferBooth · 15/02/2025 21:47

Warning OP Every time the fire regs change you wll have to pay for a new fire front door.

IcedPurple · 15/02/2025 21:49

I live in an apartment with people above, below and on both sides of me. Most of the time I'm barely aware of their existence. In terms of noise it's no different than living in a house. But I guess I've been lucky.

Delphiniumandlupins · 15/02/2025 21:50

If it's a Victorian property I imagine the ceilings will be pretty high if you need to install sound insulation.

Original poster
2025ohdear · 15/02/2025 21:53

Mixed responses.

I'm going to look at it again tomorrow and really think about this. Such a dilemma tbh

OP posts:
Doubledded123 · 15/02/2025 21:54

We had awful neighbours upstairs flat. They were deaf so shouted at each other. Their son wax a nightmare. Thumping around.
Now we have a detached place. It's bloody bliss.

Fencehedge · 15/02/2025 21:56

The problem with a Victorian conversion is the sound can resonate in the chimneybreasts and it's hard to decouple that / those.

Kerplonker · 15/02/2025 21:56

I live in the ground floor on a converted Victorian house. My neighbour upstairs is very respectful, but he’s a heavy footed older gentleman. His bedroom is above mine. I can hear his every move - I hear him turning over in bed.
It’s bearable, but I can’t go to sleep until he goes to sleep basically. I’ve had to adjust my life around him - I go to the gym in the evening rather than getting up early to go.

My previous neighbour I never heard at all, but she was a very petite lady.

Pepitinio · 15/02/2025 21:57

Never had good experiences living with others above me. Best thing I did was to go for a detached.

NeedSomeComfy · 15/02/2025 21:59

We've always loved in flats, as does everyone I know in my city. Not saying people don't have neighbour issues from time to time, but many people don't have the choice to live anywhere else.
Actually I did live in a top floor flat once so no upstairs neighbours, but it was a nightmare for insulation - very cold in winter, very hot in summer.
Now we live on the first floor. Our downstairs neighbour has been known to have weekend long techno parties, but then again we have young children and my husband is a musician, so on balance we're probably about even with noise disturbance! Sometimes we hear our upstairs neighbour walking around but it never bothered me to be honest.