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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

I’m afraid my baby doesn’t like me.

14 replies

therosierose · 15/02/2025 20:50

My baby is 5 months old, she smiles and gets excited when she sees me and I talk to her, she laughs at me. But she doesn’t nuzzle and snuggle and I feel like she pulls away at kisses and cuddles. She seems to get easily annoyed at me, I respect her personal space and give her chance to play and self soothe. But especially at night time when she cries even when I soothe her and rock her, I know I shouldn’t but I take it personally and feel this is a reflection on how she feels about me. I know I’m thinking a bit too much into it but I’m scared she doesn’t love me and I love her so very much.

OP posts:

Quercus3 · 15/02/2025 20:52

My daughter was like this! My son is more affectionate. I think it's just down to personality, don't let it worry you 😊

MumChp · 15/02/2025 20:52

Your daughter sounds wonderful and very normal. You are overthinking.

user3827 · 15/02/2025 20:54

You are way over thinking. Your baby is a baby, she's only trying you what she needs or wants, the only way to do that is by crying.

You're her world of course she loves you

DollydaydreamTheThird · 15/02/2025 20:56

Some babies just aren't affectionate like that( just as some adults aren't). My oldest didn't really give me kisses and cuddles and still doesn't. My youngest more than makes up for it and has always been very affectionate. Tbh not many babies under one will go in for cuddles though. You might find she is more demonstrative with her love once she gets a bit older. I really wouldn't worry about her not loving you OP. All kids love their mums. Even children that grow up with abusive mums love their mum. You're doing everything right and before you know it she will be telling you 'i love you mummy'.

Achyarms · 15/02/2025 20:57

DC1 was like this. DC2 a bit more cuddly. Just their personality

TuesdayRubies · 15/02/2025 21:01

You're taking it WAY too personally! Babies aren't super cuddly when they are young. Just being held by you IS the cuddle (and BF if you do that). Affection tends to come later. My toddler is super affectionate and comes fo cuddle me all the time, but it wasn't like that when she was a small baby. Just keep offering her consistent love and care and responding to her needs, and she will return it in time.

RatedDoingMagic · 15/02/2025 21:01

Of course your baby loves you.
She has particular sensory preferences and hasn't learned all the human body languages of love but she still loves you. She's not quite aware of herself as a different individual for you, and she doesn't quite understand the concept of love yet, in the same way that a fish doesn't quite have a concept of water, but she still loves you.

Worrying that your baby doesn't love you can be a symptom of post natal depression. Please ask your HV for an assessment.

Upstartled · 15/02/2025 21:05

Your baby adores you but doesn't have a handbook on cuddles and nuzzling. She might just find it too hot or constrictive or just prefers to see your face.

IButtleSir · 15/02/2025 21:13

My baby was like this. She's now two and has recently become obsessed with cuddles and kisses. I promise you, it's nothing personal.

greeneyessparksfly · 15/02/2025 21:19

I feel for you. My dc2 was a bit like this as a baby… as he got older and more mobile he was so focussed on being on the move and the next thing he wanted to do, he just never wanted to be held and quite often struggled against it..which was upsetting, but fast forward to now; he’s just coming up to 2 and has become incredibly affectionate and cuddly in the last month…I’m absolutely delighted and making the most of all the snuggles - it’s like he’s finally realised it’s quite nice having cuddles with me :) I’m sure in time she will become more affectionate but at 5 months lots can and will change, try not to feel too worried and focus on the things she does like you doing and build that bond as I’m sure you’re doing amazing and she adores you even if you don’t feel like it.

Original poster

therosierose · 15/02/2025 21:20

Thank you everyone for your kind words, it’s my first so I know I’m just being overdramatic. Wouldn’t normally share this but think just had a mad moment with lack of sleep. Thank you x

OP posts:

greeneyessparksfly · 15/02/2025 21:22

You’re not being over dramatic, you love her and care for her. Take care OP, and get a good nights rest!

orzomushroom · 15/02/2025 21:24

My first was like this and still is aged 30 ,just isn’t a huggy person,but is absolutely lovely and caring.
Second and third very cuddly and affectionate from day 1,it’s all down to personality l

Original poster

therosierose · 15/02/2025 21:25

You’re all wonderful thank you, you’ve really put my mind at ease. I’m really grateful x

OP posts:

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